men Page 330 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Video Of A Lady Draining An 85-Foot Three Pointer
University of the Cumberlands guard Stephanie Quattrociocchi's highlight-reel shot gave her team a 34-27 halftime lead over Campbellsville U. Mattered little. Campbellsville ruled the second half and won 73-60....
Ripped from the Headlines: Your Hardest News Roundup
This week in your newsiest roundup, North Korean Supreme Commander Kim Jong Il signs on for a starring role alongside Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman, and the nation's idiots obtain minor lacerations due to the latest SNOWLOCAUST!...
The Novitzky Scalps
Barry Bonds: Charged with four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice for telling a federal grand jury he never knowingly used steroids. The substance he's accused of taking, The Clear, was neither illegal nor specifically banned by baseball at the time of his testimony. Trial is ...
Your Vile, Insensitive Comments Have Been Put On Notice, Swine
"For a site whose taste is questioned regularly, the entry lacked the snark and ridicule the site makes its bones with. When one scrolls down to the comment section, however, humanity quickly fades." boomroasted[HuffyPo]...
There Are Photos For Sale Of Tennis Pros Getting A Lap Dance, Menstruating
Back into the shit-pit we dive. An enterprising amateur photographer asks if we'd like to spend our scuzz-money on some awful photos of two professional tennis players. Vamanos....
Brady Hoke Will Change Michigan's Culture Of Losing And Not Tucking In Shirts
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Michigan Man Michigan Man Michigan Man....
Cockblocked By Your Own Psyche!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
David Brooks Recalls That Time When Athletes Weren't Impressed With Themselves, Which Was Never
"Joe DiMaggio didn't ostentatiously admire his own home runs, but now athletes routinely celebrate themselves as part of the self-branding process," writes Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, who, in addressing the Tucson shootings, trains his surveyor symbols on our national immodesty. Any thoughts, Babe?...
Flamengo Fans Slightly Excited About Ronaldinho
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
ARCO Arena's New Name Will Be A Glorious Tribute To Large-Scale Consumer Fraud
ARCO will become the Placebo Effect Power Balance Pavilion, according to Sactown Royalty. You are, of course, familiar with Power Balance and its wristbands. This is like naming your stadium in honor of pet rocks. [Sactown Royalty]...
New Sports Chat Show Held Inside Actual Sports Dome
As you well know, sports are fertile ground for ridicule, absurdity, and repeated failure. Onion SportsDome inflates on Comedy Central tonight, and hosts Mark Shepard and Alex Reiser will present all the ball-related news you can stand from right inside that dome....
MMA Fighter Who Lost Ear Has Mangled Remains Reattached
This happened on New Year's Day in Japan. That's Kazushi Sakuraba, legendary fighter known as the "Gracie Hunter". That's part of his ear exploding. Miraculously, it was reattached. [All Elbows/Esther Lin](via Zak Woods)...
Here's The Favre Sexual Harassment Lawsuit
The massage therapists' lawsuit — against Brett Favre; the Jets; and the team's massage coordinator, Lisa Ripi — is below. If you'd like analysis, please consult the many Americans conversant in both the suit's particulars and the relevant case law....
Last Night's Winner: The Kings' Only Highlight Of The Season
Tyreke Evans nailed an honest-to-god game-winner from halfcourt. No lame first half buzzer beaters, no overturned on review horseshit. Just a desperation heave to save the Kings. Now watch, Evans will miss two months and Sacramento will lose 10 in a row....
A Wrap-Up Of Deadspin Commenting Highlights From 2010
Greetings. It's the ghost of David Carradine. The Ninjas would like a word with you people. No admonishments, just accolades. So please listen carefully and keep your wits about you. Remember: pet the cobra once, but do not kiss it....
UConn, espnW, And The Welcome New Stupidity In Women's Sports
This month's coverage of UConn's win streak, and the record the Huskies may or may not have set, presented a new — but refreshingly familiar — storyline for women's sports coverage....
Last Night's Winner: Thundersnow And Communist China
Let us call it "Thundersnow" — a Norwegian black metal band of a winter menace, which deposited 18-20 inches of drifting white stuff across the Northeast, canceled football in Philadelphia, and emasculated America....
Or You Could Use it In the Hot Tub
If you're going to go through the hassle of getting SCUBA certified and entering therapy to get over your irrational fear of fish, you might as well spring for this ultra-rad underwater swim mask with integrated waterproof digital camera....
Batshit Hall Of Fame Voter: "I Compare PED Users To Murderers"
And we compare Lowell Cohn to a cymbal-banging monkey toy. I'm beginning to suspect HOF voters really do fancy themselves an elite task force of karacter kops. Drugs make people crazy. A Hall of Fame ballot makes people crazier. [PressDemocrat.com, Business Insider]...
Last Night's Winner: The Brett Favre Miracle
The following comprises actual phrases from actual stories written about a quarterback who last night performed the miracle of transfiguring his old ass off the injured list. These are taken verbatim....