men Page 340 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Only Peyton Could Make A Badass Visor Look Goofy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Serial Semen Squirter Finally Behind Bars
Michael Edwards Jr. is accused of spraying Gaithersburg, Md., shoppers with semen from a bottle. Police say there are other victims out there, and they're unsure of where the semen came from. Carl Monday warned us, people. [WaPo]...

"'Brett Favre Once Sent Me Cock Shots": Not A Love Story
Here’s another reason Brett Favre should stay retired this time: Turns out The Daily Line’s Jenn Sterger has kept a ridiculously disturbing (but HILARIOUS) secret about her interactions with The Gunslinger while they were both part of the Jets organization....

Hilariously Gross Brett Favre News To Surface Soon
And it has nothing to do with his alleged retirement this time around. No, no — it turns out the heroic Gunslinger of yore has a little scoundrel in him, too. But you must wait, mongrels....

Roethlisberger's Wolfpack Growing Daily
Pittsburgh Review-Journal columnist Joe Starkey has a dream. In it, his hometown quarterback wouldn't get punished more for pesky rape accusations than, say, Vince "Allegedly Fights in Strip Clubs" Young or Tom "Allegedly Fights Everywhere, Hits Women" Cable....

Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure: TRANNY EDITION!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Pudgy Philly Puker To The Pokey
Matthew Clemmens will spend 60 to 90 days in jail, and do community service (the judge suggested cleaning bathrooms at Citizens Bank Park) after pleading guilty to assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. We're awaiting comment from crazy uncle Dave. [Inquirer]...

Sean Salisbury Drops His Lawsuit Against Gawker Media, Me
Hear ye. The lawsuit brought forth by an aggrieved former NFL quarterback and television analyst against a Bully Blogger and Bully Blog Shop, in Denton County, Texas, for the past several months, is no more....

Here's a Picture of Matt Kemp Putting on a Sequined Glove
Here are a couple questions about the Dodgers' 80s Night Promotion (for which Rihanna's boyfriend is posing in the above photo):...

Prediction for Today's Royals/Yankees Game
Twenty-seven years ago today, this happened ......

The Worst Bra Unhooking Failure Ever. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

How Would You Like This Oily, Tan Woman In A Bikini To Flirt With You On Facebook?
Then you should join the Deadspin Facebook group because it gives you the opportunity to converse with like-minded sports culture enthusiasts and you might just meet a fun person to have virtual sexting with. For real. Look....

Palm-Greasing BP Had Secret Request Line For Tickets To Terrible Arco Arena Shows
Arco Arena events California lawmakers might have seen for free since the Deepwater Horizon spill: Harlem Globetrotters, the Eagles, Daughtry, Carrie Underwood, Cirque du Soleil, Sesame Street Live: Elmo and Friends, The Judds "Last Encore Tour 2010," Rihanna with Ke$ha, and Tool....

Duke Basketball Fan Feels Persecuted, Part 7,938
"i've noticed that espn opens each sportscenter with championship snippets of the yankees, saints, lakers, alabama football, even uconn women's bball. hmmm. who's missing and is it intentional?" That's followed by the emoticon for "whining Little Lord Fauntleroy." [Duke Basketball Report]...

We Want To See Your Ironic NBA Jerseys (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we posted a quicklink to The Faster Times's gallery of indie bros wearing NBA jerseys at the Pitchfork Festival. It's a fascinating phenomenon, a game even, as if they're actively trying to wear the most ridiculous NBA jersey imaginable....

It's Your Last Chance To See Lou Piniella Gesticulate Wildly On The Field
Lou Piniella will retire following this season, adding yet another name to the ignoble list of those the Cubs have irrevocably broken. [Chicago Breaking Sports]...

WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY DEVILS
Hence, the prolonged wheel-spinning you may be experiencing. From Gawker Quality Assurance: "It appears that we are under attack again, and are seeing major problems as a result." Just be patient or FUCKING PRAY QUIETLY BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED....

Someone Just Told Julio Borbon He Has To Spend 14 Innings In Detroit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Miguel Ángel Jiménez Wins The British Open Trick Shot Competition
Miguel Ángel Jiménez will never have to buy...whatever his drink of choice is after this shot Saturday. On 17—the affectionately named Road Hole—he had no choice but to Tin Cup it off the wall onto the green. Smooth, MAJ. Smooth....

Dwyane Wade's World Trade Center Reference And Other Great Moments In 9/11 Sports Analogies
Dwyane Wade's questionable World Trade Center reference he gave to Fanhouse briefly set off hyper-sensitivity alarms everywhere, but it wasn't even that awful compared to some of the other ones we've seen recently....