men Page 352 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vomiting Phillies Fan's Uncle Would Like Us To Do...Something
Ever since we've started covering the story of Matthew Clemmens, best known for allegedly vomiting on an 11-year old girl, and rocking "Material Girl" at karaoke, his uncle has been pestering us about...well, we're not really sure what he wants....

Frenchmen Don’t Want You To Get Laid. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Old Spice Pec Man Punches Out Nerdlinger
In a dingy locker room while wildly manipulating his pectorals. Soak your brain in the 16-hour B.O. BLOCKING POWER that is this Tim & Eric-directed Old Spice spot. Isn't Comedy Week a reach-around punch in the face?...

NCAA Tournament Adds Networks, Expands To "Only" 68 Teams
In a surprising move, the NCAA signed a new television deal that will add more networks to CBS's coverage of the men's basketball tournament, but will not expand the field to 96 teams. Wait, did they actually listen to us?...

Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....

Big Ben's Woman Problems The Result Of Stunted Psychosexual Development, Says Guy Who Writes About Sports
Ben Roethlisberger mistreats women because he has "deep-seated" issues relating to his childhood separation from his mother-figure. "I think Ben needs help," writes Mike Klis of The Denver Post, who when he's not diagnosing psychosocial pathologies usually writes about the Broncos....

Mind-Altering Old Spice Clip Features Spastic Pecs Aplenty
It's Comedy Week on Deadspin, so Old Spice wants to contribute. Behold the 16-hour B.O. BLOCKING POWER in this Tim & Eric-directed spot. There's so much BLOCKING POWER that your eyes will cry tears of titanium alloy. Need we say more?...

Family Rushes To Vomiting Fan's Defense In Eminently Quotable Fashion
Now I'm no Perry Mason, but I'd say that if your defense rests in part on there being a distinction between a right person and a wrong person on whom to ralph, your case is lost already....

If You'd Like To Comment On Stories While Comments Are Down....
You can head over to the Deadspin Facebook fan page. Or stay here and type in silence if that's more comfortable. [DeadspinFacebook]...

Apropos Of Nothing, Here's Phillies Vomit Kid Doing Madonna Karaoke
Mean-spirited? Yeah, a little. Only tangentially related to sports? Sure. But fuck it. Here's Matthew Clemmens (stage name: Pukemon) with "Material Girl."...

Night On Ubaldo Mountain
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Have You Seen This Man’s Penis? GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Reporter-Turned-Blogger Blasts Blogger-Turned-Reporter
This is William Houston, former Toronto Globe and Mail columnist. He was relevant, oh, around the last time the Maple Leafs were. He has some absurd things to say about the new Leafs beat writer....

David Brooks Provides Us With Yet Another Reason To Hate Duke (And David Brooks)
I'm sorry, somehow we missed this bit of intellection from the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, David Brooks: "How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious?" he mused last week ... about Butler-Duke....

A Reminder: When You Email Deadspin, You Are Contributing To Deadspin
Unless you specify that your email is off the record anything that comes into any author or the tips line is fair game. So be mindful of that every time you send us something. For example......

Please Sign Up For The Deadspin Newsletter And Receive A Special Celebrity Phone Number
See that little box on the left hand side of the masthead that says "Join"? If you click that, you'll get a daily splash of Deadspin's top stories, now in an email form....

Join Us Thursday For A Live Chat With Sam Lipsyte, Author Of <em>The Ask</em>
We'll have an excerpt Thursday from the great Sam Lipsyte's new novel, which is very funny and which I encourage you to read immediately. Sam will be by around 3 p.m. to say filthy things to you and discuss aggressively marketed nachos....

Fameballs, Footballs on Commenter's Fusion Site
This week's random Deadspin starred commenter/My Fusion Site enthusiast is Peter Cavan, who has made some excellent choices. Check them out below, then create your very own Gawkmodo or Jalopspin or Kotako9!...

The Hedo Turkoglu Google-Commercial Parody Is Here To Creep You Out
This "parody" of those Google Search Story commercials is weird, to say the least, and bordering on bat-shit insane, to say more. While Turkoglu's been a bit of a disappointment this year, it's no reason to eat him. [YouTube]...

Detestable School, Loathsome Sneaker Company Produce Most Insufferable Ad Ever
This ad appeared in Sports Illustrated. As it is not a four color ad or black & white, it cost somwhere between $229,300 and $352,800. At least, according to the SI rate card, pictured after the jump: ...