men Page 359 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Smokin' Jay: Cutler Sure Does Clean Up Nicely
Judging by this month's Michigan Avenue Magazine, the new Bears quarterback wants to mount a serious challenge to Matt Ryan as the best-looking ball-slinger in the NFL. What else is he saying with these hot new looks?...
Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves
The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters....
Please Help Us With The 2009 FAILgate Project
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. We do not want those stories....
Breaking: ESPN.com Commenter Adds Valuable Perspective
Appended to the ESPN.com story about Weepin' Rich Rodriguez's press conference was an intriguing comment from one utah_utes_33. "I play for a D-I football program," utah_utes_33 begins....
Player-Coach Leads Team To Championship While Pregnant
Sky Blue FC won the first Women's Professional Soccer League championship last weekend, but didn't find out until the champagne celebration that their coach-slash-captain, Christie Rampone, is three months pregnant. No, she didn't play barefoot....
Caster Semenya Getting No Support From The Tranny Athlete Club
When a male-to-female transsexual who went to court for the right to play ladies' tennis says you have no business competing against women, you might be fighting a losing battle. [CBS Sports]...
Lock Up Your Bike Racks: Deadspin Goes To Bristol
Although other overtures were made before, there's never been a better opportunity to touch the sun than this one: an invitation to participate in some of ESPN's 30-year anniversary activities....
Ohio State Asks Fans To Stop Being Obnoxious Pricks For Five Seconds
Ohio State is graciously allowing a service academy to play football on its field this season and also politely requests that their fans not mercilessly rain boos, slurs and D batteries down upon the Midshipmen as they take the field....
At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....
Hysteria Over Caster Semenya Has Only Just Begun
The latest is that Semenya, the 800-meter world champion, reportedly has high testosterone and a coach famous for stuffing East Germans full of steroids, and that her hero is WWE wrestler John Cena. Only one of these things actually matters....
Jim Rice Doesn't Like Lazy Longhairs Who Ruined Baseball
Big league Hall of Famer Jim Rice opened the World Series for Little Leaguers with a fiery speech that even the grumpiest of grumpy old men could appreciate. The message: Don't look up to today's players because they're all bums....
Cut Limes and Cut Loose
It's Dance in Public Day! Why not erupt into dance everywhere you go? Do the "Bus Stop" at the bus stop and the "Stanky Leg" anywhere. Grand finale: get the entire bar into a Conga Line while raising your Coronas....
If You Question This Lady's Ovaries, You're A Hatemonger
While it may be cruel to so publicly question Caster Semenya's gender, it's not a ridiculous question. But just keep in mind you're being racist. What?...
Victor/Victoria
Androgynous distance runner Caster Semenya has won the 800 final at the track and field world championships, shaving more than a second off the year's fastest time as if it were an unwanted penis. [IAAF]...
She's The Man?
South African distance runner Caster Semenya will run in tonight's women's 800-meter final at the track and field world championships in Berlin, despite concerns that she's a dude pulling a reverse Yentl on the world....
Don Ohlmeyer Addresses Roethlisberger Story, Learns What "Ombudsman" Means
Former NBC executive Don Ohlmeyer actually opened his first ESPN ombudsman column by reciting the definition of "ombudsman" from the dictionary. And also like a bad graduation speech, he takes way too long to get to the point....
The Greatest H-O-R-S-E Shot You'll See All Year
That's K-State guard Denis Clemente doing a credible impression of the Bird/Jordan "Nothing But Net" McDonald's commercials....
Apologies For The Delays But There Is A Troublesome Dong Infecting Gawker Media
I've been told it has something to do with Dr. McSteamy's wang(NSFW) clogging up Gawker's publishing system. I'm just quoting from an inter-office memo circulating around. As you were....
This Story Is Trying To Break Your Heart, Part II
For those who, like me, are pathetic saps when it comes to feel-good stories of fathers, sons, and sports well the tale of Miami Hurricane walk-on Chris Hayes will destroy you. WARNING: Some of you may cry. [Sun-Sentinel]...
Yes, Please Help The Mighty FJM
"FJM fans: we're editing Deadspin Sep. 16 and need articles to fisk. Please send links to my firejoemorgan.com email address."[KenTremendousTwitter]...