men Page 361 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mark Whicker Leaves The Yard
I do not say this lightly: What you're about to read is the single worst piece of sports journalism ever committed to the page....
Help Wanted: Preposterous NFL Project 2009
Dear Readers: If anyone in the NYC area would like to volunteer to care for our football-playing gerbil and frog this year, please contact me. Consider it an internship. Sort of. No, this is not a joke....
Kite-Cam Awesomeness
Check out this video from the Real Kiteboarding Camp held earlier this summer. The rogue gadget warriors from Summermodo attached a GoPro camera inside a kite and onto the chest of a professional kiteboarder using two different mounts. Awesomeness ensued....
Jay Mariotti Thinks USC’s Freshman QB Is Totally Cute
It's not uncommon for sportswriters to have man-crushes on athletes, but when you lead with this Freudian slip, you're bound to raise some eyebrows: "The afternoon sun was orgasmic. … Yet nothing was more radiant than Matt Barkley's smile."...
Roger Clemens Suit Against Brian McNamee Dismissed
A Texas judge dismissed Clemens' defamation lawsuit against his former trainer Brian McNamee, but McNamee's defamation suit against Clemens will continue in New York. Does anyone even remember what these two lovebirds are fighting about? [Daily News]...
This Week in Love
Alright, time to commence my weekly scan of the interwebs to see who got engaged recently. Let's see, there's Ricky Williams and Kristen Barnes. There's also Jim from The Office and Emily Blunt (slow down, you two!). And......
Cash From Clunkers: Brett Favre Fined $10K for That Dirty Hit
Say what you will about the morality issues tied in with Mike Vick's return to the NFL, but perhaps it is another QB who's return was much-discussed about whom we should be worrying the most....
Why Your Half-Day Sucks
Because most of you are stuck in traffic right now, this week's exciting installment of Why George Will Sucks will run next week. Keep sending in your Dodger Stadium stories: [email protected]....
Balls, Balls, Balls!
Want to watch grown men inflate and then inhabit a giant aqua ball? We'll answer for you: Yes....
Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....
Smokin' Jay: Cutler Sure Does Clean Up Nicely
Judging by this month's Michigan Avenue Magazine, the new Bears quarterback wants to mount a serious challenge to Matt Ryan as the best-looking ball-slinger in the NFL. What else is he saying with these hot new looks?...
Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves
The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters....
Please Help Us With The 2009 FAILgate Project
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. We do not want those stories....
Breaking: ESPN.com Commenter Adds Valuable Perspective
Appended to the ESPN.com story about Weepin' Rich Rodriguez's press conference was an intriguing comment from one utah_utes_33. "I play for a D-I football program," utah_utes_33 begins....
Player-Coach Leads Team To Championship While Pregnant
Sky Blue FC won the first Women's Professional Soccer League championship last weekend, but didn't find out until the champagne celebration that their coach-slash-captain, Christie Rampone, is three months pregnant. No, she didn't play barefoot....
Caster Semenya Getting No Support From The Tranny Athlete Club
When a male-to-female transsexual who went to court for the right to play ladies' tennis says you have no business competing against women, you might be fighting a losing battle. [CBS Sports]...
Lock Up Your Bike Racks: Deadspin Goes To Bristol
Although other overtures were made before, there's never been a better opportunity to touch the sun than this one: an invitation to participate in some of ESPN's 30-year anniversary activities....
Ohio State Asks Fans To Stop Being Obnoxious Pricks For Five Seconds
Ohio State is graciously allowing a service academy to play football on its field this season and also politely requests that their fans not mercilessly rain boos, slurs and D batteries down upon the Midshipmen as they take the field....
At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....
Hysteria Over Caster Semenya Has Only Just Begun
The latest is that Semenya, the 800-meter world champion, reportedly has high testosterone and a coach famous for stuffing East Germans full of steroids, and that her hero is WWE wrestler John Cena. Only one of these things actually matters....