men Page 410 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It Just Keeps Giving
I'm afraid I gave you only part of the story with the earlier Mike Cooper post. Carl Monday has gotten himself involved again, and where there's Carl Monday, there's more story....
Mike Cooper Avoids Jail Time; Prison Showers
The sentence has come down, once again, courtesy of our man Jimbo. Mike Cooper, he of library-masturbating fame, was found guilty, and was fined $150 plus court costs. That's it. Bail was $500,000, and the fine is $150. All is well that ends well, I suppose. Who among us hasn't paid $150 for an or...
The Mike Cooper Sentencing ... You Are There!
Well, the Mike Cooper sentencing is over, and our man Jimbo was, indeed, there. We're still not sure precisely what Cooper's sentence was — Jimbo didn't make it that far into the proceedings — but he was there, and he even captured Cooper and his parents on his camera phone ... kind of....
Some Things, Ron Artest Shouldn't Joke About
Temporarily sane Sacramento forward Ron Artest gave an interview to the Sacramento Bee over the weekend that covered his future with the team, his dogs and Donald Trump. But the most frightening section came from when Artest was asked about whether or not Bonzi Wells will return to the team next y...
Baby, Don't Forget Our Number
We come to you with all kinds of issues of a technical variety, and this time, they're not even the fault of the hamster-powered servers around these parts. Instead, our beloved Thunderbird email server has decided not only to not load any of our email messages, it's even killed our a ton we had i...
If You Can Trust Anyone, You Can Trust Jose Canseco
Yesterday, Major League Baseball released a Strongly Worded Statement, making it clear that former Madonna statue Jose Canseco's claims — that Bud Selig and Co. could cover up a positive steroid test if the player (namely, Roger Clemens) were popular enough — "complete nonsense." It is the next in...
Expanding The NCAA's Grip On Your Life
The men's NCAA basketball tournament is the one major postseason event that seems perfect. It's not possible for it to fail. It will be exciting. There will not be controversy about the champion. It is the single greatest gambling event that has ever existed. And there are coaches out there who want...
They're Baaaack ... What They're Saying About Clemens and Pujols
It was the day we've all been waiting for; sitting on the edge of our bed in our Cardinals pajamas (your pajamas may vary). The glorious return of Albert Pujols and Roger Clemens. And even though both got upstaged (by Anthony Reyes and Francisco Liriano, respectively) and their teams lost on Thurs...
Non-Retired Guy Comes Out Of Non-Retirement To Non-Retire
Our long national nightmare is over: Roger Clemens is back. How did we ever make it so long without him? His "return," obviously, would have a little more resonance if he had, you know, ever left, but whatever. He's back. Playing the Twins. We hope Bat Girl comes up with a Lego version of him....
Roger Clemens! Pitching! It's Like He Never Retired!
Well, it's a big night in Lexington; Roger Clemens is coming to town, to pitch with his son Koby at third base. It's the first of three minor league stints for Roger, all of which, of course, have a definitive financial incentive for Roger Clemens. (The other two games are for teams Clemens partia...
Clemens Decides To Stay In Houston, Yep
Credit Newsday's Ken Davidoff with the big scoop: Roger Clemens is signing with the Houston Astros....
Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....
Roger Gets The Jordan Treatment
You know, it just wouldn't be the Internet without Roger Clemens steroids rumors. It's like they make the place whole....
We're Hitting The Road
One of the best parts of this job is that we can do it from anywhere. We don't have an office, and even though we spend most of the time on our couch, that's more out of choice than of necessity. We could be in Boise, Boston or Bangkok doing this site, and no one would know, and it would not matter....
Roger Clemens' Multinational Laundry
Yesterday, perpetual retiree Roger Clemens was in Houston to receive his National League Championship Ring. As usual, Clemens was asked about his plans for this season, whether he'll retire, whether he'll play, who he would play for, so on, ad nauseum. But then the conversation took a bizarre, and...
"Wow, It's Us. Hey, It's Us. Yo, Check It Out, It's Us."
Via Gawker, the fine folks at Silver Jacket captured this image from last night's national championship game....
Meet Your Deadspin Pool Winner
We had 1,534 people join our Deadspin NCAA pool, but there was only one winner: Daniel Fearson, from Michigan, who ended up with the highest score with this "Van Halen Rules" entry. And you know what? Van Halen does rule....
Tapeworms Overcome Glen Davis; UCLA And Florida To Meet Monday Night
Every commercial CBS takes prolongs the agony. And CBS certainly isn't shy about the commercial breaks this year....
Bruins vs. Tigers, 5:58 Second Half
Garrett Temple buys a pump fake and ends up kneeing someone in the head. That was exciting....