mets Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bah, He's Safe
Daniel Murphy resorts to Globetrotter trickery to help save the Mets season. This will not be enough. [ESPN]...
In Season Debut, Candace Parker Produces Six Points, Several Fluid Ounces Of Breast Milk
Parker returned yesterday against the Mercury, and once again sportswriters found themselves talking about her boobs: "Just before the game, Parker had to pump breastmilk in the locker room for her daughter's post-game feeding." [LA Daily News]...
Oh, And The Mets Looked Great This Weekend
To be fair, Johan Santana did run up against Joe Blanton, a card-carrying furry. Even with this much-needed sweep, it still feels like the Marlins are going to backdoor the NL East when no one's looking.[Philly.com]...
The New York Mets Have A Furry Run-In On Road Trip
Those injury-riddled New York Bastard Mets have struggled recently, so this recent road trip could serve as a self-reflective haven for players, coaches, and media. Unless the Pittsburgh hotel they're staying in is having a furry convention....
Jack Clark: Still Hating On The Mets
Back in the days of the old National League East, it was the St. Louis Cardinals that declared themselves mortal enemies of the New York Mets. But even time and realignment can't stop Jack Clark from holding a grudge....
The Mets Do What The Mets, Pressured Third Graders Do
Luis Castillo is now the face of the New York Mets' misery. All he had to do was catch that popup, and we're not talking about him....
Mets Fans Are A Bunch Of Decrepit Old Dudes, Poll Finds
Bad news, Mets: Women and anyone younger than 45 hate your guts. It's true! The New York Times took a poll....
Finally, Suffering In Shea Stadium Can Be Monetized
Shea Stadium's three-ton wrecking ball, the one that would look great on the mantle? It's up for auction. Starting price: $35,000, the cost of a seat at Yankee Stadium, give or take. Free shipping, too. [Home Run Derby]...
Today In Mets Health Calamities
Jose Reyes out indefinitely with a torn hamstring tendon. Also: Johan Santana contracts scarlet fever, team forced to burn down Citi Field to avoid contamination. [New York Daily News]...
Keith Hernandez Chooses The Worst Possible Way To Describe Roberto Clemente
Clemente. Great ballplayer. Died in a plane crash. How to describe him? If you're Keith Hernandez, living endorsement for the seven-second tape delay, you say the following: "What a great player. And he could fly." Take that, Sterling. [The 'Ropolitans]...
Mets Get Swine Flu Scare, Creating Conditions For Tabloid Perfect Storm
A producer for the Mets television network may have swine flu, and Carlos Beltran and John Maine both have unspecified stomach ailments. Rest assured this story will be handled with measured calm and forbearance by the New York media. Wait, what's that? "Pig Panic"? Never mind. [New York Post]...
NYC Pitcher Throws No-No After Dad Dies Of Swine Flu
Throwing a no-hitter or four in high school baseball? Passe. Doing it the day after burying your father, New York City's first victim of swine flu? Now we're talking....
Mets Fan Swallowed By Citi Field Toilet
Oh, Mets fans! It feels like the whole world is out to get you, but honestly, you're kinda asking for it. When one of you goes diving into a baseball stadium toilet after a gold tooth and gets stuck ... we're all a little embarrassed for you....
Citi Field Streaking Jabroni Faces Stiff Consequences
38-year-old Craig Coakley made a bet with his boss that he'd streak across Citi Field with a stuffed monkey jockstrap. He succeeded! Now he's never allowed back to Citi Field again....
And The Mets/Phillies Weekend Yields Predictable Results
Come on, Philly people. Don't throw fucking bottles. [The700Level]...
Ten Humans, Or Parts Thereof
Programming note: Our beloved Emeritus is traveling this week. Whether it's by air or through space and time, he refused to confirm. In his place, I will be presenting this week's Ten Humans. Sort of....
Citi Field Security Cracks Down On Sprawling Negativity
Apparently the Citi Field security goons are over-sensitive this year. Two times last week they took away signs from fans. First was the K's controversy. Then there's this incident....
Mets Fans Give Thanks For One More Thing To Complain About
The Great Doc Gooden Autograph Controversy is mercifully at an end, the Mets having reversed field on the issue after getting an earful in a glorious media/fan backlash....
Doc Gooden: Wanton CitiField Graffiti Outlaw
Apparently Felix Unger is now in charge of stadium operations at CitiField. Hey, it's a brand new stadium! Don't write on the walls! Even if you've won a Cy Young Award and your name is Doc Gooden....