mia Page 104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Marlins Have Become The (Original) Kings Of Comedy
The Miami Marlins are 1-3 so far in their dream season. They'd be fifth in the NL East if not for the fact that an NL East team (Atlanta) had to play the New York JuggerMets and consequently didn't win a game. Their manager offended, like, half of Miami. Someone's squatting on their domain name. The...
Ozzie Guillen Said Something Crazy About Fidel Castro
Ozzie Guillén said he loved Fidel Castro. Can you believe it? Guillén said he respects Fidel Castro. Are you hearing this? In Miami, with a large demographic of people who have fled Cuba to get away from Castro, people are losing their shit. Or, at least, we are being told that people are losing th...
Jeffrey Loria Had A Marlins Park Cake With Swarovski Crystals And A Working Retractable Roof
After trotting out Muhammad Ali like a show pony, the Marlins owner welcomed friends and colleagues to his luxury suite on opening night with this cake: a custom made replica of Marlins Park. That bigass logo? It's 3,600 crystals. Probably worth more than your life. I swear to god, this thing better...
At Least One Marlins Fan Wasn't Happy Karl Ravech Insulted Their Centerfield Home Run Sculpture
ESPN would come to regret their sarcastic take on the Marlins' new digs—"center field home run thing" being one of Ravech's phrases—but the Worldwide Leader should count their blessings. After all, Miamians have been known to react a bit more violently to perceived slights; a dude flipping his midd...
The Marlins Opened Their New Stadium In The Saddest, Most Awkward Way Possible
Marlins Park is the new jewel of Miami, and team owner Jeffrey Loria must've figured it wise to use a big-time celebrity with some Miami cred to deliver the ceremonial first pitch ball. (Also, it'd be a sly way of avoiding any boos on what was supposed to be a celebratory moment.) Loria's choice ...
The Marlins Have Scheduled A Five-Minute Standing Ovation After The First Pitch Tonight
Tweets Jayson Stark: "Still no word on who's throwing out first pitch at Marlins Park. But MLB has scheduled a 5-minute standing O when he or she is announced." Hmm. Jeb Bush?...
Nice Of Marlins Park To Include A Bobblehead Hall Of Nightmares
Lost in all the other wonderful features, like the fish and the home run sculpture and the fact that Marlins Park is actually really nice is something called the Bobblehead Museum. No need to come to Little Havana to see it—it'll come to you in your nightmares....
Marlins Park, Camden Yards, And The End Of The Retro Ballpark
Marlins Park has been unveiled to the masses, and early reviews are fawning. "Contemporary," "dazzling," "forward-looking." The only thing not state-of-the-art is a true center field camera (perhaps the home run sculpture is in the way)....
Jeffrey Loria Is Spectacularly Unlikable
Ben McGrath has a fun story about the Miami Marlins in this week's New Yorker (subscription required), which, as its primary function, introduces uptown types to Ozzie (and Oney) Guillen. But Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria is present too. In fact, he condescends to you through print. He makes you feel ...
The "Bohemian Rhapsody" Dude Is An Unemployed Home Brewer Who Was Picked Up For DUI
The Smoking Gun has discovered the identity of that guy who fantastically belted out every word of "Bohemian Rhapsody" in the back of a cop car after his arrest. His name is Robert Wilkinson, he's 29, he's unemployed, he's a home brewer, and his unforgettable performance in the back of a Royal Canad...
Arrested Drunk Man Sings "Bohemian Rhapsody" In Its Entirety In Back Of Police Car [UPDATE]
Dude in the video above wasn't happy about being picked up by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for being intoxicated. The best excuse he can muster is something about "brotherhood of men on the planet earth" before he segues right into singing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." In its entirety. He even...
Heat President Pat Riley Might Be The Worst Karaoke Singer We've Ever Seen
At Tuesday night's "Battioke" charity event in South Beach, Pat Riley had sunshine on his cloudy day, or something. Sure, it's less than 30 seconds and maybe it's not quite Wade Boggs-bad, but his rhythm clearly needs some work. Also, a tad pitchy....
In Which LeBron James Dons A Rick James Wig While Singing "Super Freak"
At least that's what Heat owner Micky Arison would have you believe. Whatever LBJ is doing here, it's in the name of charity, as teammate Shane Battier's annual Battioke extravaganza was held tonight in South Beach. Also slated to perform were such legendary musical acts as former Knicks head coach ...
LeBron Dislocates Ring Finger
James injured his left ring finger during last night's loss to Indiana. The team isn't talking, but one report says it could be dislocated. This is your cue to make bad jokes. [ESPN]...
The Marlins' Home Run Sculpture Is The Whirling, Flashing, Spouting Heart Of Baseball At Its Best
Tacky! Boy, is that new kinetic sculpture beyond the Marlins’ outfield fence tacky. Tacky like their tacky new uniforms are tacky. Tacky like the Miami Marlins’ tackily alliterative revised name, highlighting the tacky metropolis they call home. ...
The Marlins' Home Run Sculpture Is Alive
When I was young, the Mets tricked me into rooting for them solely by that giant fiberglass apple. I couldn't wait for Howard Johnson or Kevin McReynolds to hit a home run, just so I could see the apple rise out of the similarly comically oversized top hat. So maybe, at 28, I'm no longer in the de...
Dwyane Wade Hit A 65-Foot Buzzer-Beater
The Heat helped narrow what had been a sizable deficit in their battle with the Thunder in Oklahoma City thanks to this 3/4-court bomb to end the third quarter by Dwyane Wade. Mike Tirico was still only mildly impressed. [ESPN]...
Alex Smith Used You For Your Beach, Miami
Smith re-signed with the 49ers after they lost out on Peyton Manning, and he couldn't be happier. "This was always the goal to me," Smith said on a conference call, "just to get back here." That's the sort of diplomatic thing you say when you sign anywhere, but was there really a need to kick sand i...
Quarterback Musical Chairs Leaves The Dolphins Standing Alone In A Corner
The Miami Dolphins do not have a quarterback, and now there are no good quarterbacks left....
Matt Flynn Chose Seattle Over Miami Because The Seahawks Are "Led By The Right Type Of People"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Flynn says he's not guaranteed to start in Seattle, but come on....