miami-heat Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami
Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach:...

ESPN Asks, New York And Florida Answer: Nonexistent Knicks-Heat Game Is Best Non-NFL Game Of The Weekend
The Knicks and the Heat are not playing this weekend. They play next Friday—on ESPN. That did not stop Sportsnation from asking if it was the best non-NFL game. Nor did it stop the fine citizens of New York and Florida from responding that yes, of course, it is clearly the best game this weekend. M...

Florida Law Requires Stadiums to Shelter Homeless On Off Nights; Not A Single One Has Complied
As is the case in most cities with professional franchises, the buildings that host Florida's professional sports teams have been built with the assistance of taxpayer contributions. It's played off as a symbiotic relationship (new stadium means new jobs, more revenue coming in, etc.) but most of t...

Mario Chalmers Just Found Out That He Has A 20-Month Old Daughter Named "Queen Elizabeth"
Congratulations to the Heat guard. If money's tight, he can always cut the $2000 he spends monthly on the most unnecessary bodyguard in the world. [Miami New Times]...

Dwyane Wade Turns 30, Has Best Super Sweet 16 Party Ever
Judging by the countless professional photographs and edited montage videos that tend to come out of these productions nowadays, Dwyane Wade had a more expensive and corporate-sponsored birthday party than you this year....

Hubris Runs Massive Ship Aground, So Naturally Its Owner Also Runs The Miami Heat
Micky Arison, besides owning the Heat, is CEO of Carnival Cruise Lines. Carnival operates the Costa Concordia, the Italian cruise ship that will likely be the most expensive maritime loss in history. This is all one big, involved metaphor for something, probably maybe....

ESPN Manages To Work LeBron James Into A Tim Tebow Story
Brett Favre must have been unavailable for comment. [ESPN]...

Chris Bosh, Like Rest Of World, Would Rather Dwyane Wade Take The Final Shot Than LeBron James
Chris Bosh sat down with GQ's Mark Anthony Green this week for a "GQ&A." Some things we learned: Bosh's favorite book is The 33 Strategies of War, he has "probably" felt depressed before, and he thinks that Dwyane Wade is both a better dresser and better in the clutch than LeBron James....

ShortCenter: Ric Bucher Has Nice Hair, Doubts About The Miami Heat
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Breaking: LeBron Travels, Doesn't Get Whistled
Put down the pitchforks and torches, people. I know this is unprecedented, but hopefully we can make it through together. It seems an NBA player—a superstar, if you will—took more than his two-step allowance and even moved his pivot foot. Despite this, travelling was not called. ...

What It Sounds Like To Sit Next To The World's Most Annoying Miami Heat Fan
It was Dec. 27, and Jason Feifer was pumped for the Miami Heat home season opener. Feifer and his dad had scored tickets to see the Heat take on the Boston Celtics. As the Feifers settled into their seats, they paid little attention to the petite woman next to them. The woman was by herself, wearing...

LeBron James Gets Engaged, Preemptively Breaks His New Year's Resolution To Stop Being So Tacky
LeBron proposed to his long-time girlfriend, Savannah Brinson, at a joint New Year's Eve and King James birthday celebration last night. And she said yes! How romantic....

NBA Officials Create A Twitter Account Just To Explain Why Dwyane Wade Didn't Travel Last Night
Just about an hour ago, a Twitter handle @NBAOfficials went live, with a single Tweet: an explanation of why Dwyane Wade's gamewinning jump-stop-pivot jumper with 2.9 seconds left was right not to be whistled for a travel. The Tweet was a response to Hardwood Paroxysm's Rob Mahoney and ESPN's Tom ...

A Gestural Analysis Of The Miami Heat's Intro Video (In Which Everyone Looks Like A French Sailor)
The over-produced NBA team introduction video is an unfortunate but often hilarious fact of life now, and we may as well accept its extravagance and pyrotechnics as such. But not every team is the Miami Heat, and not every team's introduction video calls to mind the hip-hop super-group music video...

ShortCenter: Jalen Rose Gets Emphatic About the Heat, Then Asks You Out
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Get To Know Norris Cole (That Guy Playing Point Guard For The Heat)
The NBA season started on Sunday, and the whole thing has been predictably disorienting. Vince Carter is now fat and on the Mavs bench? Who knew?...

Even Santa Claus, Drink In Hand, Heckled LeBron James On Christmas Day
Hey, he had worked his ass off the night before, and he was really looking forward to going to the Mavs' opener, what with it being a Finals rematch and all. Can you blame him for wanting to clean up his beard, kick back with a gin and tonic, and let off a little steam? [That NBA Lottery Pick]...

LeBron James Wouldn't Let Walter Iooss Jr., Who Was Photographing Him For Nike, Speak Directly To Him
If you get a chance to pick up last week's Sports Illustrated issue without gagging at the cover, it's worth flipping through to Walter Iooss Jr.'s career retrospective. The photographer has been shooting athletes and swimsuit models for SI for 50 years, and it turns out that he's got as many wonder...

Shane Battier Announces He's Joining The Heat Via Jimmy Buffett Quote
If you were looking for a fresh reason to hate on the Miami Heat this year, Shane Battier's come through for you. The Grizzlies forward announced on Twitter this morning that he's joining the Heat. Somehow, a Jimmy Buffett reference made it into the mix. That alone almost makes this more damning tha...

LeBron Misses Two Jumpers, Feels Bad, Dunks On A Helpless Child Instead
Your morning roundup for Nov. 17, the day we learned there are children in China who love school, a lot. Video courtesy Hoops Fix, via Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....