Things are getting hot in the National League in the final days of the season. After last night’s results, here’s how things stand: The Brewers lead the wild-card race and are a half-game back of the Cubs in the central division; the Rockies are a half-game back of the Dodgers out west and now hold a half-game lead…
The Marlins have the worst home-field advantage in baseball, drawing a whopping 4,600 fewer fans per home game than the next lowest average attendance in the league. If you bring a harp to a Marlins home game and use it to play a soothing acoustic version of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the seventh-inning…
Earlier this month, Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña spiced up the team’s divisional rivalry with the Braves by plunking the white-hot rookie Ronald Acuña Jr., who at the time had hit three consecutive lead-off dingers. (The HBP didn’t technically snap Acuña’s streak, although he didn’t hit a lead-off HR the next day.) The…
The Nationals got smoked Sunday afternoon, at home, by the garbage Marlins. Jose Ureña—yes, that fucking guy—pitched a dominant two-hitter for his first career complete game. Ureña, by the way, on top of being a shithead, is bad! He came into the game with a 3–12 record, and a crummy 4.74 ERA, and an also crummy 4.18…
Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña was suspended six games by Major League Baseball for his bush-league plunking of Ronald Acuña Jr., to break up Acuña’s three-game streak of leadoff dingers. As should be expected whenever a player is suspended, Ureña has appealed the punishment, which means he is eligible to pitch for the…
Pretty much the entire baseball world (except for Keith Hernandez) united against Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña after he knocked red-hot Braves starlet Ronald Acuña out of the game with a first-pitch heater to the elbow. Braves first baseman Freddie Freeman called Ureña “gutless.” Even his own manager wouldn’t come to…
20-year-old Braves slugger Ronald Acuña Jr. is molten hot right now, blasting eight homers in his last eight games and lead-off dongs in each of his last three. If you’re Marlins starter Jose Ureña, facing the Braves tonight, you can either take Acuña’s recent success as an exciting challenge to your own skills, or…
Miami Marlins CEO Derek Jeter apparently feels he can show his face in public again, opening up to Jerry Crasnick for an ESPN feature on the future of the team, and boy, was the author willing to make him comfortable.
Here’s Miami Marlins first base coach Perry Hill, wearing a soggy leaf of lettuce under his batting helmet to stay cool during yesterday’s sweltering afternoon game against the Atlanta Braves:
The Nationals picked a really good time to have their big players-only meeting, Wednesday night, following a sweep at home at the hands of the Boston Red Sox. The Nationals had lost five in a row and 15 of 19, and were outscored by the Red Sox 18-7. Whatever spin certain of their players tried to put on it, the…
In a 16-inning battle between the Rays and the Marlins that started a little after 7 p.m. on July 3 and carried on until 12:42 a.m on July 4, it was a double from Tampa’s Jake Bauers that broke a seemingly never-ending 4-4 deadlock and eventually led the Rays to an exhausting 9-6 victory. It may not have been a result…
Even if you are the type of team that operates under a strict adherence to baseball’s dopey unwritten rules, there are times when exceptions should be made. For example, when it comes time to defend the honor of a known dolt like Hunter Strickland, who started a useless beef with a rookie Marlin who is hitting .180…
Hunter Strickland has long been established as the biggest baby, as he once threw a retaliatory pitch for a nearly 3-year-old dinger. It doesn’t take much to get under the Giants closer’s skin, besides exposing him as kind of a mortal pitcher in front of large crowds.
Last month Miami radio host Andy Slater joined Marlins Man on an investigative trip to the British Virgin Islands, where they learned that the corporate address of the Miami Marlins was a post office box, listed in order to establish the Marlins as a foreign company, for the most cynical of reasons. This was an…
Here is a section of a transcript of an interview Derek Jeter did with Bryant Gumbel, set to air on HBO Real Sports on Tuesday, courtesy of the Miami Herald.
In a move that is equal parts activism, investigative journalism, and performance art, and is rooted in one strange man’s performative loyalty to the least lovable franchise in baseball, Marlins Man apparently flew to the British Virgin Islands and sought the location of the corporate home of the Miami Marlins, to…
Though there were almost no fans in attendance to see it, something extremely dumb and good happened in last night’s silly Pirates-Marlins game: with one out in the bottom of the 5th inning, with the bases loaded, Marlins second baseman Starlin Castro skied a fly ball to right field for what would normally produce…
The Marlins beat the Pirates last night, at home, in front of fewer than 7,000 fans. Before the game new Marlins owner Derek Jeter spoke to assembled media about evaluating his team’s start, what it will take to develop a winning culture, and those dismal home crowds:
If I asked you which MLB franchise is claiming foreign citizenship in a Caribbean tax haven, and is doing so in order to get out of a lawsuit, you’d have answered the Marlins before I finished asking the question, wouldn’t you?
Last February, the families of Eduardo Rivero and Emilio Jesus Macias, the two men who died in a boat crash alongside Marlins ace José Fernández, filed suit against the Fernández estate, each seeking $2 million in damages. Autopsy results showed that Fernández had a BAC of .147 as well as cocaine in his system at the…
