miami Page 104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Clear That The World Needs Shaq Now More Than Ever
Of course you've seen him in hot pursuit of criminals in the Shaqmobile, and it's no secret that he snaps into action whenever President Bush activates his signal watch, helping to preserve the honor and dignity of this nation's highest office. And sure he can bust through walls. But now here's Shaq...
Mission Accomplished
So if we're understanding Shaq correctly, the past few NBA MVP awards have been tainted, but being lauded by the current Commander-In-Chief is juuuust fine. No taint there....
NBA Roundup: Love Shaq, He's Our Little Love Shaq
Notes from Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Shaq On Taint
After the Heat lost to Dallas on Thursday, a reporter engaged Shaq in conversation about Dirk Nowitzki's MVP candidacy. Shaq, sensing the opportunity to get some things off his chest, went off about how the award selection process and said that Steve Nash's last two MVP awards were "tainted."...
Tim Hardaway's Deeper Hole
OK, so here's what we want to happen today: Every half hour, we want someone to call Tim Hardaway to ask him about his comments about hating gay people. You can ask him the same question every time, every half hour. It'll be great, because he'll find a way to dig himself an even deeper hole each tim...
Tim Hardaway Wants Only Straight Men To See His Penis
So, by now, everyone has heard former NBA point guard Tim Hardaway's comments on the Dan LeBatard show yesterday, but just in case you're up for some caveman rhetoric — he'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa — here's the full audio of the interview....
Hey, The Heat Are Over At .500. Wake Riley.
Dan LeBatard, handsome as ever, brings up what everyone's thinking: Pat Riley's kind of a dick when it comes to abandoning his team when times are tough. Sure, he had some physical issues, but it seems obvious by now that it's not a coincidence that when the Heat are struggling, Riley's "recovering,...
Super Bowl XLI, The Loo, And You
Thinking of using the bathroom during Super Bowl halftime? Well, OK ... if you must. But please heed these important guidelines as laid down by the Miami-Dade Sewer Department....
Nick Saban's Odd Way Of Bonding With Reporters
Curious how new Alabama coach Nick Saban could possibly become less popular? (Well, other than screaming "Roll Tide!" while having sex with two strippers.) Well, check out this audio from an "off-the-record" chat with reporters about the whirlwind of Saban hate coming out of Miami right now....
Shaq Keeps The World Safe, One Escalade At A Time
It is clear, at this point, that in his dreams Shaquille O'Neal flies over our major cities, combing the streets and alleys from up high, looking for evildoers to apprehend and, if necessary, kung fu chop. Sunday morning, after Shaq had returned from a game in Chicago, he and his bodyguard — whom we...
NBA Roundup: Shaq No Longer Gets To Wear Suits During Games
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
A Strange Way To Go After An Arena Football Job
Far be it from us to tell anyone how to deal with the tragic loss of a family member ... but this seems like an awfully strange way to do it....
NBA Roundup: Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Crown
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
And Nick Saban is....Heading to Tuscaloosa
Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban has decided to walk away from the pro game and head to the University of Alabama . Saban, who was offered somewhere in the ballpark of a 25 year, $98 kajillion deal from the Crimson Tide, will no longer be part of the Miami Dolphins rejuvenation program....
Alabama Just Won't Give Up On The Nick Saban Thing
Miami Dolphins head coach Nick Saban could be the recipient of a $40 million offer, including $7 million in a signing bonus, from Alabama. That's what the Miami Herald was reporting last night on their website. The offer would make him the highest-paid college coach in the history of the world, an...
New Mexico's Quest For Newer, More Fertile Land
You know, we're starting to think that perhaps the Mexico family has some issues....
All The Miami Stars Come Out To Idaho
So, tell us again how all these postseason bowl games are exciting their team's fans? As you might know, the Miami Hurricanes (hell2danaw!) are playing in the MPC Computers Bowl against Nevada this year. It's an appealing prospect; a game in Idaho. On New Years Eve. Sounds like a party....
NBA Roundup: Can AI Save The Heat?
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Reeeeeeeeematchhh!!!!!
It was inevitable, it was preordained, it was destined and placed here only to make us happy and the world a better place: Looks like Miami and Florida International, who have a bit of history, are set to butt heads, crutches and Hell 2 Da Naw once again, next year. It's October 6. It's the Orange...
The Job Opening In Coral Gables
As Will mentioned yesterday, Miami Hurricanes head football coach Larry Coker will be relieved of his duties after the Hurricanes bowl game. Rightfully sensitive to the concerns of the Hurricane football community, 'The U' President Donna Shalala addressed them yesterday in letter form....