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![This Season Is Already a Disaster [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
This Season Is Already a Disaster [UPDATED]
This story has been updated....
![Despite Marlins Outbreak, Commissioner Rob Manfred Has No Plans to Stop Season [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/wyxkriuykr10rkfwdahj.jpg)
2020 NL East Preview
Atlanta won its second straight National League East title, but continued a run of playoff futility that dates back almost two decades. Since sweeping the Astros in the 2001 division series, Atlanta has been to that best-of-5 round eight times, and lost all eight times — plus a loss in the 2012 wild...
We'll Never See A Career Like Shula's Again In The NFL
I had to be reminded that Don Shula coached the Baltimore Colts once upon a time. It started before the Super Bowl era. And his most-known accomplishment there was losing to Joe Namath’s side-burned and overrated ass. And really, Shula’s legacy will be that he was “there.” Much like a baseball seaso...
Don Shula, The Perfect Coach, Dead at 90
Don Shula, the winningest coach in NFL history with 347 Ws, and the architect of the NFL’s only perfect season, died Monday. He was 90....
Dolphins Dent Pursuit Of Being NFL's Worst Team, Perhaps Ever
Dolphins win. Not a sentence anyone has been able to utter since Week 14 of last season. Not a sentence many expected to be able to say at all this season as the Fins vied to be plain awful....
The Dolphins As North Korea
The Miami Dolphins’ loss to the Buffalo Bills on Sunday was their most normal game of the season, which is to say that it was their least interesting. The circus came to town, but nobody fell from the trapeze or was mauled by a bear. The Dolphins showed up, gave the fans a game, lost, packed up, and...
Bills Fan Says Dolphins' Bobby McCain Spit On Him, Also Threatened To Spit On Kid
Defensive back Bobby McCain, like all of his teammates, surely can’t be enjoying playing for the winless Miami Dolphins, but he really needs to take those losses with whatever shreds of dignity are left....
The Dolphins Are Still Finding New Ways To Embarrass Themselves
The Miami Dolphins’ turd carnival trucked up to Buffalo this weekend for a matchup with the rested, 4-1 Bills. Things got off to a predictably rough start as soon as the game started. On the second play from scrimmage, defensive tackle Christian Wilkins—who the Dolphins selected with the 13th overal...
Heat Suspend Dion Waiters For Having A Tantrum On The Bench During Preseason
As the NBA preseason comes to a close and teams work to finalize what their regular season rosters will look like, it would appear that one player has decided to make their team’s rotation choices a little bit easier: Dion Waiters. The man who’s famous for scoring a game-winning buzzer-beater agains...
The Washington Nationals Are The Team Of Destiny, Until They're Not
For the entirety of their brief existence in the nation’s capital, the Washington Nationals have been too insignificant or too lousy or too unlucky or too self-defeating to hate. This is not to say that I haven’t figured out various ways to do it over the years, but also I am not without some intere...
Report: One Of Rudy Giuliani's Ukraine Cronies Was Once Sued By The Miami Heat
Now that Lev Parnas, one of Rudy Giuliani’s henchmen and a member of Trump’s inner circle, has been arrested and charged with manipulating the American electoral system and funneling Russian money into U.S. elections, all sorts of details are emerging and reemerging about his slimy little life....
Jimmy Butler Compares Himself To A Work Of Art, Specifically A Banksy
No forecast of Jimmy Butler’s surging cheese levels, no matter how thorough, could have anticipated the day he compared himself to a Banksy artwork. It’s too on the nose, but that’s exactly what the Heat forward told Haute Living in last week’s profile. (Also revealed: Butler has taken on a bit of a...
The Dolphins Smashed Their Own Dicks To A Pulp, And Then Smashed Them Some More
This past Sunday, the Miami Dolphins failed so flagrantly, so perfectly, in a game so perversely important that was more meme than matchup, that I don’t actually need to explain what happened to them. But the thing you should know about the Dolphins’ suicide screen pass, which wrapped up their 17-16...
Let's Not Get Too Excited About Tyler Herro, The Greatest Player In The History Of The NBA
He scored Miami’s first 14 points on 5-for-5 shooting in Monday night’s preseason game against the Hawks, but it is probably best not to read too much into 19-year-old rookie Tyler Herro, the greatest shooting guard in the history of the Miami Heat, and for that matter, the NBA. Preseason basketball...
The Dolphins Are The Worst Of The Worst
One hurdle lying on its side, rusted and shattered, 11 more left....
Dolphins Win Barf Bowl, Lose To Washington In Final Seconds
So far this season the Miami Dolphins had looked unstoppable on their way to a No. 1 draft pick and Tua Tagovailoa. But their tank rumbled over a potential minefield on Sunday: a matchup with Washington, one of a small handful of teams that might be nearly as bad as the Dolphins, and the only team t...
Don't You Dare Try To Take Adrian Peterson's Touches Away From Him
For all the turmoil there’s been around the Washington football team, it was nice to see a brief moment of firm communication between two teammates in Miami on Sunday. On a second-and-5 from his team’s 35-yard line, quarterback Case Keenum tried to switch the play to something else, yelling “kill ki...
Jonathan Martin Avoids Jail Time On Felony Charges With Mental Health Diversion
Former Dolphins offensive lineman Jonathan Martin will not face any jail time for the charges brought against him for threats he made on an Instagram post in February 2018. According to a report from Nancy Dillon of the New York Daily News, Martin was instead granted a mental health diversion progra...
Dad Made The Very Sleepy Chargers Get Out Of Bed And Beat The Dolphins
Okay, so I can’t show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played a college football team. But I can show you what it would look like if the Miami Dolphins played in a college football game, and were the college team....