miami Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Pat Riley Called Tom Thibodeau A Motherfucker For Trying To Squeeze Him On A Jimmy Butler Trade
It’s no secret that Timberwolves coach and president of basketball operations Tom Thibodeau does not want to trade the disgruntled Jimmy Butler, since sacrificing short-term success for long-term planning is not in his own best interests. But thanks to ESPN’s Jorge Sedano, we have a really good stor...
Udonis Haslem Sues Animal Hospital For Denying Him His Rightful Dog Semen
Longtime Miami Heat big man Udonis Haslem—present tense, as Haslem is still on the active roster despite averaging less than a point per game in 14 appearances last year—is suing a Florida animal hospital and one of its doctors for castrating his prized show dog, thus denying the three-time NBA cham...
The Dolphins Politely Waited Until The Second Half To Doo-Doo Their Pants
The Miami Dolphins started the season 3-0 before they were thoroughly exposed by the Patriots in Week 4. But they’ve always played poorly in Foxboro, so there was a chance to bounce back, albeit on the road against the 3-1 Bengals. On Sunday, the Fins actually held a 17-0 lead in the third quarter—b...
Ass Team Of The Week: Do Not Ever Feel That You Must Respect The Dolphins
This is my favorite part of the NFL season, in part because I get a certain thrill out of watching teams that roar off to surprisingly hot starts being put ruthlessly back into their places. I feel like I’ve lived through seven or eight NFL seasons that began with, like, the Buffalo Bills going 3-0,...
Bill Belichick On Dolphins Apparent Fake Injury: "That's Fucking Bullshit"<em></em>
Dolphins CB Bobby McCain didn’t seem to be prepared for a fourth-down play the Patriots were setting up during the second quarter of their game today, and he solved his problem by giving his team a free timeout....
Everyone Thank The Marlins For Making The NL Playoff Race Fun
Things are getting hot in the National League in the final days of the season. After last night’s results, here’s how things stand: The Brewers lead the wild-card race and are a half-game back of the Cubs in the central division; the Rockies are a half-game back of the Dodgers out west and now hold ...
The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season
Dolphins defensive lineman William Hayes hurt himself while sacking Derek Carr yesterday, and today two worst-case scenarios were confirmed. Not only did Hayes tear his ACL on the play, he did so while trying to follow the NFL’s asinine new rule that prevents defenders from landing on the quarterbac...
NCAA Lets University Of Akron Bully Former Softball Recruit Into Sitting This Year Out
The NCAA can’t be criticized enough. More proof comes with this week’s tale of an Ohio softball star who will have to sit out her freshman college season as punishment for changing her mind, while still in high school, about what university she wanted to attend. ...
Frank Gore Has Been So Good For So Long
Frank Gore was not supposed to be in the NFL for over a decade. He was not supposed to recover from tearing both of his ACLs and then both of his labrums to build a no-doubt Hall of Fame career, and yet here he is, still a big part of an offense at age 35, still running, and still setting records. W...
Tiny Child On Field Can't Stand Titans-Dolphins Weather Delay
Today’s Titans-Dolphins game, currently in its second weather delay, sounds like absolute hell for any fans in attendance:...
Inter Miami CF Continues MLS's Proud Tradition Of Barfy European Cosplay
David Beckham’s Mosaic trek through the American sports grifter desert as he seeks to realize his MLS team ownership dream has come another step closer to reality. We now know what to call this allegedly imminent franchise, and it’s a name as nauseatingly cosplayish as we’ve come to expect:...
Feds Investigating Former Kings Exec For Reportedly Stealing $13.4 Million To Buy Beach Houses
According to a report from the Sacramento Bee, former Kings exec Jeffrey David embezzled $13.4 million from two Kings sponsors and used the money to buy beach houses in Southern California. David allegedly took $9 million from Golden 1 Credit Union, title sponsor for the Kings arena, and another $4....
Marlins To Allow Musical Instruments At Otherwise Deathly Quiet Marlins Park
The Marlins have the worst home-field advantage in baseball, drawing a whopping 4,600 fewer fans per home game than the next lowest average attendance in the league. If you bring a harp to a Marlins home game and use it to play a soothing acoustic version of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the...
Kiko Alonso Makes Important Third-Down Tackle, Promptly Runs To The Wrong Sideline
Late in the first quarter of Saturday’s Dolphins-Ravens preseason tilt, Dolphins linebacker Kiko Alonso brought down Maxx Williams on a short completion on third-and-17, forcing the Ravens to bring on their field goal unit. Alonso kind of rolled off of Williams, then trotted over to the sideline. Th...
Ronald Acuña Jr. Gets Revenge, But The Braves And Marlins Aren't Done Beefing Yet
Earlier this month, Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña spiced up the team’s divisional rivalry with the Braves by plunking the white-hot rookie Ronald Acuña Jr., who at the time had hit three consecutive lead-off dingers. (The HBP didn’t technically snap Acuña’s streak, although he didn’t hit a lead-off HR ...
Stick All The Forks In These Losers
The Nationals got smoked Sunday afternoon, at home, by the garbage Marlins. Jose Ureña—yes, that fucking guy—pitched a dominant two-hitter for his first career complete game. Ureña, by the way, on top of being a shithead, is bad! He came into the game with a 3–12 record, and a crummy 4.74 ERA, and a...
Don Mattingly Will Protect The Cowardly Jose Ureña From Comeuppance
Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña was suspended six games by Major League Baseball for his bush-league plunking of Ronald Acuña Jr., to break up Acuña’s three-game streak of leadoff dingers. As should be expected whenever a player is suspended, Ureña has appealed the punishment, which means he is eligible ...
When Miami's Rolling, The Bandwagon Is Rowdy As Hell
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...
Jose Ureña Played Dumb And Defiant After Plunking Ronald Acuña
Pretty much the entire baseball world (except for Keith Hernandez) united against Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña after he knocked red-hot Braves starlet Ronald Acuña out of the game with a first-pitch heater to the elbow. Braves first baseman Freddie Freeman called Ureña “gutless.” Even his own manager ...
Cowardly Jose Ureña Beans Ronald Acuña To Avoid Another Lead-Off Dinger
20-year-old Braves slugger Ronald Acuña Jr. is molten hot right now, blasting eight homers in his last eight games and lead-off dongs in each of his last three. If you’re Marlins starter Jose Ureña, facing the Braves tonight, you can either take Acuña’s recent success as an exciting challenge to you...