miami Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Marlins Played Fart Noises During The Nationals' Batting Practice
Some weird stuff happened at the Marlins’ stadium while the visiting Nationals were taking batting practice last night. Some weird fart stuff, to be specific:...
The Diamondbacks Are Still Jerks
Former GM Kevin Towers and Kirk “Grit Lord” Gibson aren’t around to urge players to throw baseballs at people in meaningless acts of revenge, but that doesn’t mean the Diamondbacks have totally done away with the Hard Baseball Man ethos. See last night’s game against the Marlins....
David Beckham Will Build His Soccer Stadium Next To Marlins Park
David Beckham’s Miami Football Club appears it will finally have a stadium to call home. After a 17-month, back-and-forth process, Miami mayor Tomas Regalado announced Friday a tentative deal to build Beckham’s soccer stadium on land adjacent to Marlins Park. ...
Ex-NFLer Will Allen Indicted For Role In Alleged Ponzi Scheme
Former NFL cornerback Will Allen—not to be confused with Steelers safety Will Allen—has been indicted in the U.S. District Court for the District of Massachusetts for his role in an alleged Ponzi scheme, which prosecutors say he ran with a woman named Susan Daub. Allen and Daub each face 23 felony c...
Woman Alleges Permanent Neck Injury Due To Marlins' Shark Attack
A lawsuit filed last month in Miami-Dade County court alleges a woman suffered serious and permanent injuries after being attacked by a fake shark during a 2013 Miami Marlins game. The Marlins, like most shitty (and a few good) teams, hold a mascot race between innings in a futile attempt to distrac...
What The Hell Did Dwyane Wade Just Sign?
The AP reports that Dwyane Wade has agreed to a one-year, $20 million contract. What the hell?...
Dee Gordon's Inside-The-Parker Was The Fastest Home Run On Record
Granted, the record only goes back six seasons. But damn, Dee Gordon is fast:...
Giancarlo Stanton Reportedly Has Broken Bone In Hand; Everything Sucks
Giancarlo Stanton has been crushing baseballs all season long, smacking out an MLB-leading 27 homers and driving in an MLB-leading 67 runs. So you can understand everyone’s trepidation when he announced some sort of hand injury suffered during yesterday’s game against the Dodgers. And it looks like ...
Giancarlo Stanton Hits Baseball Through All Dimensions, Shattering Each
Giancarlo Stanton continues smacking baseballs higher and further than us humans deserve. My only reaction to this latest bomb, Stanton’s 26th of the season, is perhaps the highest compliment one man can pay another: It moved....
Cubs' And Marlins' Benches Clear, And Everyone Immediately Apologizes
There were no punches thrown in the sixth-inning scrum during last night’s 7-3 Marlins win, and both sides quickly headed back to their own dugouts. In fact, it might have been one of the politest bench-clearings of all time, as the main instigator, Cubs outfielder Junior Lake, apologized unreserved...
The Miami Heat Have Big Plans For 2016
Once again, the Heat need Dwyane Wade. Do they need him more than he needs them? It’s going to be an interesting offseason or two....
Giancarlo Stanton Eats Kit Kats Like A Monster
Look, it doesn’t matter how good Giancarlo Stanton is at hitting home runs. No one’s allowed to eat a Kit Kat like that. That chocolate bar was made to be broken into columns, and instead, Stanton took a big bite out of it (and common decency)....
Giancarlo Stanton Slams Into The Wall To Take Away An Extra Base Hit
Giancarlo Stanton is featured on this website a lot because we, like all right-thinking humans on earth, enjoy watching him smack the crap out of baseballs. But hey, as it turns out, he can play defense too! ...
Brian Matusz Second Pitcher This Week Ejected For "Foreign Substance"
Brian Matusz became the second pitcher this week to be ejected after a strategic challenge by an opposing manager after the Marlins accused the Orioles hurler of possessing a “foreign substance.”...
Marlins Event Charges $100 To Hang Out With Players, Who Never Show
Here’s an ad featuring Marlins first baseman Michael Morse promoting the “Fish ‘N Chips Casino Party,” where “me and my teammates” will join anyone who puts up $100 to support the Marlins Foundation for a night of dancing, gambling, and entertainment. One problem: the event was held Thursday, and no...
Giancarlo Stanton Ruining Baseballs Almost Makes Up For Jeffrey Loria
Back in February, Sports Illustrated had a neat cover story on slugger Giancarlo Stanton, his injury last season, and the Miami Marlins’ new strategy of not fielding an embarrassing team. For a minute, the article really convinced the reader that owner Jeffrey Loria cared about his franchise. Stanto...
This Post Exists So You Can Make Funny Fish Jokes
Here’s Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, explaining to USA Today why he needed to shake up his team by doing something as radical as naming his GM the new manager:...
What Are The Marlins Doing?
Jeffrey Loria has a nasty habit of firing his managers. With yesterday’s ax of Mike Redmond, GM Dan Jennings becomes the Marlins’ sixth manager since 2010, and marks Loria’s fifth in-season managing change dating back to 2001 with the Expos....
Marlins Fire Mike Redmond Minutes After Sixth Loss In Seven Games
Jeffrey Loria is a weird baseball man, and he continues to do weird baseball things....