michigan Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Valenti's Great Leap Forward
You might remember the great, mad meltdown of Michigan State Spartans broadcaster Mike Valenti after his team lost to Notre Dame earlier this year. Well, The Wizard Of Odds has found a YouTube of Valenti's demented rant set to music and Spartans football "highlights." Not only is it wonderful to rev...
Just Two More Days Until Mayhem Reigns
Time to wrap up today with a little game you might have heard about. We were scooped dramatically by ESPN on the Dead Schembechlers, but we will still try to keep up....
Man, If These Guys Can't Get Tickets, No One Can
More Ohio State-Michigan fun: How big is the game this Saturday? Jeez, not even Nickelback can get tickets....
Today In The Upcoming Bloodbath
Well, if it's Tuesday, it must be time for an update on The Game To End All Games, the No. 1 vs. No. 2 Ohio State-Michigan sluggaroo this Saturday. We remain incredibly fond of this matchup and aren't particularly worried about it being "overhyped," as they say, because anyone in danger of fatigue c...
Football Game Delays Vote Counting; You'll Never Guess Where
No more than 3,500 votes separate U.S. Rep Deborah Pryce and her democratic challenger, Mary Jo Killroy in the Ohio congressional race. There are still 18,000 absentee and provisional ballots to be counted. You'd think they might want to count those as soon as possible ... but they're not....
Set Tasers Phasers To "Conduct"
At halftime of the Michigan-Ball State game on Saturday, of all people, freaking Picard proved something we've always suspected: Anybody can be a damned band conductor....
Bo Schembechler Gets Meta On Us
We've told you repeatedly about the Dead Schembechlers, the Ohio State fan punk band that features thrash ditties like "Bomb Ann Arbor Now" and "Chad Henne is A Motherfucking Joke." (Their official site is right here, though someone should probably mention that no one does splash pages anymore.)...
Stalking Lloyd Carr
We are no experts in the field of stalking — really! — but as far as potential stalking targets go, we're not sure we'd include Michigan coach Lloyd Carr as a particularly targetable vessel for rage and frustration. Well, at least not this year....
John L. Smith Knows What You're Thinking
And he's acting accordingly:...
Pucker, Pucker, Pucker
When I first downloaded this clip and started to listen to it, I saw that it was over 15 minutes long, and I thought, "Eh, it's probably not worth it." And for a couple of minutes, it wasn't. And then this guy Michigan State radio guy begins the slow rapid descent into madness....
Emmitt Smith To Get Unexpected Competition On 'Dancing With The Stars'
Those suffering from persistent night terrors — frightening disorders of the sleep from the darkest corners of the psyche — should not watch the above video. We were deeply disturbed by it, and are now unable to eat, or dress ourselves to go out. We blame The Realests, which today links to an AOL Mi...
This Is Probably Why The Food Network Is Always On
The M Zone points out a rather disturbing trend it has noticed with the Michigan cheerleaders: They're all dressed like soccer moms!...
What Should We Do With Ann Arbor Again? And When Should We Do It?
Realize, kids, that it's entirely possible that we might have an Ohio State vs. Michigan, No. 1 vs. No. 2, battle on our hands this year. That might 40 percent of the Middle West spontaneously combust. We're very excited....
In Case It Slipped Your Mind, Ohio State Still Hates Michigan
For the record, we're pretty sure that the Pat Forde-recommended Dead Schembechlers hate the University of Michigan more than any punk band ever hated anything, and that's saying something. So if you also hate the Wolverines, you won't want to miss the Hate Michigan Rally on Nov. 17 in Columbus, hea...
Nothing Says "Sloth" Like A Long College Football Saturday
As has been established, tomorrow is a day for much gluttony/sloth/greed/skinny ladies' head in the box: seven pretty outstanding college football games. And no, we're not referring to Syracuse-Illinois. We are actually offended that the game is on television....
Hugh Johnson Project - Update 2
Lee Corso's grandson appears to hate him. He had his grandson with him at the end when he did his picks. And he was trying to get him to say "hi" and wave (the kid is probably 6). And the kid looked miserable. Corso had to grab his arm and make it wave. - Josh...
Texas Sold A Lot Of Stuff
The Texas longhorns have set a new NCAA record for merchandise sales. A football national title, a baseball national title, a very good basketball team, and Vince Young can do that for you, I guess. The school made $8.2 million in royalties last year....
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Big Ten
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and...
That Ref Is Not A Pirate; He's Just Blind
We don't ask much of referees in our sports: They should be fair, they should try to avoid taking away from the action on the field, they should, in a pinch, be able to prance around a bit. And, not to be a stickler, it would be nice if they had two working eyes....
NCAA Pants Party: Michigan State vs. George Mason
Michigan State Spartans (22-11) vs. George Mason Patriots (23-7). When: Friday, 7:10 p.m. Where: Dayton, Ohio....