Oh boy, the strangest team offseason in recent memory might be getting even weirder. Miguel Tejada—the 5-9, 220 lb. shortstop who hit 156 home runs in his seven years in Oakland—wants to come back to play for the A's.

So the Giants acquired Proven October Shortstop™ Orlando Cabrera from Cleveland yesterday, because their GM, Brian Sabean, is a veteran-loving fool who doesn't have eyes, apparently.

I guess what we're saying is that Tulo always hustles, while Tejada is looking to top the Tater Tot Tracker charts.

The New York Times seems to think he did, only the paper says so in such a mealymouthed and sidelong way that one starts to wonder if something else is going on here.

Remember the Mitchell Report and Miguel Tejada's starring role in it? Well, Congress sure does, because they say the report proves that Miggy lied to them. Uh oh.

We know that Miguel Tejada is supposed to be Public Enemy Number Uno these days — "E-60" certainly thinks so — but he had his Superhero moment this weekend, hitting a home run he'd promised to a kid with muscular dystrophy.

Tonight at 7 p.m. ET, ESPN's E:60 unleashes its orchestrated ambush of Miguel Tejada in all of its uncomfortable, Schapp'd-up glory. They couldn't sit on the story long enough because, well, a 33-year-old man posing as a 31-year-old is something that needs to be revealed as soon as possible so that the public can no…

Despite being named in the Mitchell Report, having his older brother die in a motorcycle accident in January and dealing with a reality where being dealt to the Astros is an upgrade, Miguel Tejada can't really curse the heavens just yet. After all, he's still married to the stunning Alejandra, who in the past year has…

So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages.

We don't want to say that Baltimore interim manager Dave Trembley should perhaps rent, not buy, but ... well, it's probably a bad sign when you've had to make one real decision as manager, and your decision already has everyone wanting to fire you.

And not in a good way. The Los Angeles Times is reporting that Clemens, his good pal Andy Pettitte, and Miguel Tejada were among those accused of using performance-enhancers in the Jason Grimsley affidavit. Brian Roberts and Jay Gibbons, too. So much for Clemens getting through his career without ever being officially…

Everyone's guessing about who the blacked-out names in the Jason Grimsley report are, and it has been a fun parlor game so far. But we all knew eventually the names would get out. And we've been digging around ... and some sources have given us some names.

The Baltimore Sun has gotten a hold of the 40-page Congressional report on Rafael Palmeiro, and it's full of all kinds of goodness.

For anybody who missed it yesterday, Orioles designated hitter Rafael Palmeiro finally made a public statement about steroids yesterday, and, as you'd certainly expect, it was unsatisifying. Basically, Palmeiro said he never intentionally took steroids but that he might have accidentally got some in his system…

Well, now it appears that the "secret source" for Rafael Palmeiro's steroid wasn't a "source" or, for that matter, a "steroid." (But Palmeiro's name was, in fact, spelled correctly.) It turns out that Palmeiro told Congress that Orioles shortstop Miguel Tejada gave Palmeiro a B-12 Vitamin, which is not only not a…