minnesota Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Damn Straight Adrian Peterson Won The MVP
There were two potential outcomes to this season's MVP voting, the results of which were revealed tonight: The sportswriters that vote on the thing could have made a grievous error, as sportswriters so often do, and awarded Peyton Manning the MVP award (as sportswriters so often have), for reasons r...

Pro Football Hall Of Fame Calls Up Sapp, Parcells, Ogden, Allen and Carter
The NFL's next Hall of Fame class, just announced, has a few dudes the TV made famous. There's Bill Parcells, who made a coaching career of winning two Super Bowls with the Giants and then convincing other teams believe he might ever do it again; Cris* Carter, who just proved that even Jerry Rice Li...

Alleged High School Hockey Team Sex Tape Leads To No Consequences, One <em>Jersey Shore</em> Reference
Last Saturday, Minneapolis/St. Paul's City Pages reported that Maple Grove high school, in a suburb of Minneapolis, had suspended much of its hockey team and its head coach for reasons that have gone undisclosed in the intervening week. A source told City Pages the rumor that Maple Grove hockey pla...

Report: Carl Pavano Ruptured His Spleen Shoveling Snow
That's according to Ken Rosenthal, whose MLB sources told him the injury would keep the right-hander out for six to eight weeks. Then again, it might be much longer. Consider: Pavano is 37, he hasn't pitched since June 1 because of shoulder trouble, and he's still a free agent....

Injured Christian Ponder Couldn't Throw The Ball Farther Than 10 Yards
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: But then, Joe Webb couldn't really either....

Friends Successfully Use Twitter To Get Adrian Peterson To Call High School Kid With Cancer
At least, it appears they succeeded. The friend with cancer, Blake Cognata, is a senior lacrosse player from Fairport, NY who is also Minnesota Vikings fan. From what we can gather, Cognata seems to be a pretty good dude. Unsurprisingly, then, a groundswell of support developed around the senior to...

Whimsical Local News Segment On The Vikings Turns Violent, Hilarious
Everyone in Minnesota was in a frenzy about the Vikings' rematch with the rival Packers yesterday. So, local news stations, why not send your reporters to fancy-looking restaurants to see how football-crazy the town is? As Edward R. Murrow said, "One can never go wrong with the two Fs and P. The tw...

The Joe Webb Experiment Did Not Work: Vikings-Packers, In Two GIFs
Green Bay 24, Minnesota 10: You know how the most important part of the Hippocratic Oath is primum non nocere, or "do no harm"? Probably you do, because they kept showing that promo for that show about the schizophrenic doctor called Do No Harm? Joe Webb subbed in for an injured Christian Ponder to...

Adrian Peterson Says He Will Run For 2,500 Yards In 2013, So Naturally He Will
We'd scoff if anyone other than Adrian Peterson were to say, as Adrian Peterson did this week, that he doesn't just want to break the single-season rushing record, he wants to obliterate it. Actually, the way he put it to Marshall Faulk on the NFL Network was:...

Your NFL Wildcard Open Thread
Cincinnati at Houston (NBC), 4:30 p.m.: The Texans may have the superior record but they backed into the playoffs, losing three of their last four, while the Bengals haven't lost a game by more than one point since Week 9. Plus, it'd be more fun if they won, so root for them....

Adrian Peterson Wants To Return Kickoffs And Block Field Goals On Saturday
Adrian Peterson is, last we checked, the best thing going in football. No one can tackle him or outrun him or chase him down. Alas, Adrian Peterson plays on a team full of men who are not the best things going in football. Christian Ponder averages only 6.08 yards per pass attempt, which ranks him b...

Minnesota Timberwolves Guard Lazar Hayward Sees Dead People
You probably don't know much about Lazar Hayward. He was drafted out of Marquette by the Minnesota Timberwolves at the end of the first round in the 2010 draft, was traded to Oklahoma City a year ago, was then shipped to Houston as part of the James Harden deal, and was finally released in October....

When The Game Became <em>The</em> Game: An Afternoon With A Deranged, Piss-Smelling Vikings Fan (Me)
I was giving my eight-month-old baby a bath on Saturday night when I started to space out. In my head, I was giving Vikings QB Christian Ponder an imaginary pep talk. I was Leslie Frazier, only I was Leslie Frazier if Leslie Frazier were a goofy-looking white man. And I was in the film room with Pon...

NFL Playoff Scenarios And Tiebreaks, So You Can Be Sure You're Ignoring The Right Games
Week 17 is always an odd melange of completely unwatchable misery between mathematically eliminated teams, stop and start contests between teams that can't remember if they're playing for something, and impossibly intense games between teams that are fighting to see another day. Here are the likely...

Look At This Gigantic Ricky Rubio Blanket Someone Received For Christmas
BCS National Championship Game tickets are great, but a huge blanket with Ricky Rubio's face on it, among other Ricky Rubio-themed items? That's also an excellent Christmas gift. Rubio liked it so much he tweeted it out. What a lucky mom....
!["Hallelujah, Holy Shit! Where's The Tylenol?": Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1899jl1oxhk5ugif.gif)
"Hallelujah, Holy Shit! Where's The Tylenol?": Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [Updated]
We'll be putting all our GIFs for the day here, from London Fletcher losing his lunch to sad Tom Brady. We'll update the post as the later games conclude, so stay tuned. ...

The Vikings Ended Practice With A Breakdancing Circle
It's likely a lost season for the Vikings (though, perhaps, not for their quarterback). Does that mean they can't have fun? No, no it does not....

Christian Ponder And Samantha Steele Got Married
Early September-ish: Vikings QB Christian Ponder meets ESPN blonde lady Samantha Steele at a filming of College GameDay. Despite both having jobs that regularly take them around the country, they found time to start a relationship....

Adrian Peterson's Lead Blocker Deserves Some Praise
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: AP averages 3.9 more yards per carry when Jerome Felton is blocking for him....

Photo: The Packers Fan Captured In Its Natural Habitat
The Minnesota-Green Bay game earlier this month that culminated a mass brawl involving a man in a purple sombrero has also spawned this gem of a picture, a self-shot of two visiting fans marred bettered by a photobombing by the Platonic ideal of a Packers fan....