minnesota Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brett Favre's Press Conference, Remixed Flatulently
Brett Favre held a press conference today to officially announce he was returning to the Vikings for one more failed Super Bowl run. While he discussed the physical toll that the game has taken on him, it became clear: Brett's really old....
White Sox Beat Writer Goes Nuts On Minnesota
Sun-Times reporter Joe Cowley is a homer in a city of media homers. But his Twitterrhea explosion last night against the Twins and their fans was something else. Stereotypes about being ugly? Calling players jag-offs? Mocking the dead? Check, check and double-check....
BRETT FAVRE UPDATE... From A Man Riding An Elevator In Edina, Minnesota
Reader Alex Quigley bumped into Captain Croc Shot this morning in a Westin Hotel. He files this exclusive report....
FAVRE-ING: FAVRE ON HIS WAY TO FAVRE ON FAVRE-BOUND FAVRE
Brett Favre is on a plane that is possibly headed towards Minnesota. The muffled shouting you hear is Tarvaris Jackson screaming while submerged in the locker room ice bath. [NFL.com]...
Craigslist Satisfies Your Minnesota Twins Jockstrap Fetish Needs
Someone claiming to be a Minnesota locker room attendant is offering jockstraps from "handsome players," including Joe Mauer and Kevin Slowey. For an extra few bucks, he won't throw in Ron Gardenhire's. [Craigslist]...
No-Name Hoopster Mocks LeBron, Makes Name Briefly Known
I don't know who this Anthony Tolliver cat thinks he is. I like his style, punctuation and use of wolf-call special effects, though....
Tarvaris Jackson: I'm Super, Thanks For Asking
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: potential Vikings starter Tarvaris Jackson....
Brett Favre To Retire. We've Heard This Before.
Favre says his ankle hasn't responded to treatment (maybe he shouldn't have waited until May for surgery), and he's ready to hang it up. Vikes brass aren't convinced, and may offer to rework his contract. Don't bother, guys. [Star Trib]...
Another Stupid Piece Of News About Stupid Brett Favre That's Just So Stupid
I hate writing this stuff, but the numbers show that you people care. So help stop the cycle, and don't click on this post....
David Kahn Continues To Be Eminently Quotable, Stupid
The Timberwolves GM on newly acquired Michael Beasley: "Michael Beasley smoked too much pot in Miami, but he's a changed man now." On Chris Webber: "He's kind of a schmuck, isn't he?" Then he begins a sentence with "methinks." [Star Tribune, related]...
Win The Game, Carl Pavano's Gonna Fist Your Anus. That's Just The Way Life Goes.
Delmon Young's single capped a four-run ninth, and set off a celebration the likes of which his colon had never seen. Also, this is pretty much the perfect metaphor for what Carl Pavano did to the Yankees for four years....
Darko Milicic Is Bread From God, And Other Crazy Things David Kahn Believes
"It was like," Timberwolves GM David Kahn said yesterday, "manna from heaven." By "it," he of course means Darko Milicic, and by "manna" he does not mean "flaky white substance blanketing the ground," even though he should....
Darren Sharper-Visanthe Shiancoe Feud Elevated To "You're A Terrorist" Level
Now that Visanthe Shiancoe has posted this picture linking Darren Sharper to Osama bin Laden, the two NFL "rivals" are officially in the dumbest Twitter fight ever....
Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....
MLB.com Has Their Dewey Defeats Truman Moment, Then Doesn't
For far too long yesterday (read: at all), MLB.com had a game story up about the Twins easily handling the Brewers, 6-2. Meanwhile, the actual game was still in extra innings, tied at 7....
Visanthe Shiancoe Wants To Show The World He's More Than Just A Wagging Dong
Yahoo!'s Michael Silver does a double entendre-filled profile on Vikings' tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, who's working hard to overcome his internet long-comings....
Brett Favre's Selfishness Has No Offseason
So now Favre says that if he plays again, he'll have to get ankle surgery first. A simple prognosis, yet he manages to shit on both Vikings and Packers fans with it....
Target Field's Urinal Problem
The early reviews for the Twins' new ballpark have been almost unanimous in their praise — almost. The lines outside the men's restrooms have been long, even longer than the women's. This makes no sense. We need answers....
Ye Olde Shining Moment: A Basketball Montage To Remind Us How Good We Have It Now
Because neither video nor Luther Vandross was around in the 1940s, the NCAA Tournaments of those days concluded without the now-beloved "One Shining Moment" montage, which seems so very wrong. We've remedied the situation. Enjoy. [Footage via A Stern Warning]...
Smoking Pot At Target Field Earns Man A Stern "Warning"
Target Field has not hosted an official Major League game yet, so people are probably wondering: What's the policy on lighting up homemade vegetable bongs in the stands? Early tests of the system suggest that Dave is not here, man....