minnesota Page 65 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Overhyped Week 4 NFL Grudge Match? This Calls For A DEADSPIN FIELD TRIP
As you know, on Sunday Brett Favre Favred the Favres to a thrilling Favrory by Favring a last-second Favre to Greg Brett Favre. It was real sandFavre footFavre. He was a like a Favre out there!...

"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....

University Of Minnesota Bans All Your Rowdy Friends
It's bad enough that drinking is banned at Minnesota football games —but tailgating too? Those with rowdy reputations must now enter through special gate and get breathalized. Fail, and watch the game from a bar—where at least there's beer. [ESPN]...

Cash From Clunkers: Brett Favre Fined $10K for That Dirty Hit
Say what you will about the morality issues tied in with Mike Vick's return to the NFL, but perhaps it is another QB who's return was much-discussed about whom we should be worrying the most....

The Math Of Kahn: Ricky Rubio's Deal In Spain Could Work Out For Timberwolves
As expected, the Basketball Jonas has signed with FC Barcelona, meaning he'll join the NBA in 2011, at the earliest. This is bad news for basketball fans and Gillette's marketing department but maybe — maybe — not David Kahn's Timberwolves....

Brett Favre's Just A Kid Out There Who Wants To End Your Career
As noted earlier, Brett Favre launched himself in the direction of Eugene Wilson's cruciate ligaments last night — an undeniable prick move that surely no one would chalk up to Favre's oft-cited youthful exuberance. Right?...

Aim For The Knees, Brett!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

One Man's Old Fake Plastic Penis Utility Belt Is Another Man's Sports Memorabilia
$750. That's how much the owner of a Mankato sports bar payed to own Onterrio Smith's storied Whizzinator. "I'd love to have the Original Whizzinator on display. ... I'm going to use it."[RandBall]...

Timberwolves Cornering The Market On Scrappy White Guys You Probably Hated In The '80s
New Minnesota coach Kurt Rambis is adding former Bad Boy Bill Laimbeer to his staff. Tom Chambers should probably check in with his agent right about now. [Star Tribune]...

And Now A Look At The Actual Brett Favre Goat Tied Up In The Lady's Trunk
Finally, you can put your photoshopping skills to rest — the comically cruel Brett Favre goat video has been released to the local news. Yes, the goat, although tied down, is still alive in these photos. [WCCO]...

Favre-esque Goat Led To Slaughter In Trunk Of A Car
Mechanics in Minnesota were slightly alarmed this weekend when a woman came in for a new fan belt and then announced that she had a live goat—that was also a effigy of Brett Favre—in her trunk....

Insensitive NFL Sells Brett Favre Dog Jerseys!
OMG, you guys! Can you believe the Minnesota Vikings are such cold heartless bastards that they would profit off the pain of animals by selling personalized dog jerseys! It's almost like they don't care how ridiculous your pets look!...

Packer Backers No Longer Taking This So Well
Maybe Dash gave you the impression that all Packer fans are being their typical polite Midwestern selves with this whole Favre business. He failed to go where even the most reserved Wisconsinite transforms into a slobbering, bloodthirsty, illiterate neanderthal: Craigslist....

Packer Fans Are A Bubbling Volcano Of Rage
Early reaction from Green Bay: "It just bugs me that he changes his mind." "It's up to him, I guess." "It would make for a fun season." Whoa, whoa. Come back from the ledge, guys! It's only football! [Press-Gazette, Pic]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Minnesota Twins' Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome....

You Mean Twitter <em>Isn't</em> Always The Best Place To Get Your News?
Confusion in Minnesota after Bernard Berrian tweets that Tarvaris Jackson is out for the year. He was just joking, though, to prove some kind of point. There would have been panic, had it not been about Tarvaris Jackson. [PFT]...

Vikings Retirement That Somehow Doesn't Involve Brett Favre
Vikings defensive end Kenechi Udeze is retiring from football so that he can focus on his battle against leukemia. See, if you're having trouble deciding whether or not resume a career, this is an acceptable reason....

Bears Fans In China Delight In Favrefreude
Fake malls in China sell everything, from pearls of all sorts to No. 4 Vikings jerseys for $16. Oh, those poor diehards in Shanghai, new owners of some high-quality threads. They're in for quite the surprise.(PHOTO: Adam Minter) [MinnPost]...