minnesota Page 68 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Boof Bonser Bounced
Exploratory surgery on the Twins reliever revealed a torn rotator cuff, which means six to eight months of not being able to shout "BOOF!" at inappropriate moments. [MLB.com]...

Meet Your New Quarterback, Vikings Fans
The Texans said that they will trade Sage Rosenfels to the Vikings on Friday for a fourth-round draft pick. Is that a threat? [Houston Chronicle]...

So, Is Vikings' Owner Zygi Wilf Interested In Signing Favre?
"No, I'm not interested. No way. I think he's done well, he retired, it's good. He's a great guy. I'm just happy that we don't have to keep on facing him." [StarTribune] [PHOTO: Cory Hollenhorst]...

Hoo Boy, This Can't Be Good
Anyone know how this turned out? Was Shiancoe there? At any point did the festivities move out onto open waters?...

And A New Philly Slogan Is Born
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Bring Me The Third Nipple Of Drew Magary And The New York Football Giants
According to the receipt from last night at Ace Bar, there were 42 Irish car bombs consumed in five hours. The Colts won that game, right?...

Philadelphia at Minnesota: A Playoff Game Of No Importance
No one here really cares about the outcome of this game, but feel free to comment your little hearts out during the 4:00 NFC Wild Card Game....

The Battle of Big Daddy Balls
One of my favorite parts of any playoff season is when the mayors of the opposing cities playing make silly food-related bets on the game's outcome....

Something Goes Right In Dallas For A Change
A 70-41 third-quarter lead is pretty much safe, right? It should go without saying that if you're the Minnesota Timberwolves, the answer is no. [NBCSports]...

Vikings Fans Tepid Or Poor
14,000 seats still available for the Vikings/Eagles (A.K.A. The Battle Of Big Daddy Balls) game on Sunday. Expect those empty seats to be green by tomorrow if Vikes' fans don't shape up. [Rand Ball]...

The Definition Of A Slow News Week
Minnesota Vikings safety Darren Sharper visited a TV station in the middle of the night and parked in a handicapped spot. That is all. [Star-Tribune]...

McHale Has Isolated Reason For T-Wolves Suckitude
"There’s just so many bloggers; everybody’s got an opinion. There’s all kinds of stuff going on. Sometimes that starts forming the opinion of people in front offices, too, and owner. It’s been kind of a crazy year so far.” [The Wire via SPP]...

Zack And Shiancoe Make A Porno
You realize of course that this was inevitable: A Canoga Park, Calif., adult studio has made an "exclusive performance offer" to Minnesota Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, and already has a specific film project in mind....

Star-Tribune Columnist: Ask Not For Whom The Dong Tolls
The Minneapolis Star-Tribune writer who scored an interview with Visanthe Shiancoe on Monday was pretty much just covering her beat, as it turns out. Meet C.J., gossip columnist and unofficial nudity reporter, who happened to see Shiancoe exit a limousine at Trocaderos Restaurant, and got the first ...

Visanthe Shiancoe Becomes A Big, Bright, Shining Star
For the second Sunday this season I received a text message regarding an unlucky football player's unleashed member. Granted, KOGOD's "Locker room cock pic. Any thoughts?" message was less frantic than poor Tanner Cooley's after his brother's unfortunate slip-out, but it was still memorable in the s...

Kevin McHale To Take A More Active Role In The Failure Of The Timberwolves
The Minnesota Timberwolves are 4-15, which is not the worst record in their division, but it's far from the best. Obviously, Vice President of Basketball Operations Kevin McHale will not tolerate such underachievement, so he has rightly fired head coach Randy Wittman and replaced him with the only m...

FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong
Thanks to everyone that sent us pics of this. It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face. Pretty sure Heidi Klum has the same problem when she's taping Project Runway, but we're getting off-...

Federal Judge Blocks NFL Suspensions
Have you made your NFL picks for this weekend? (Just for fun! No money, right?) You might want to hold off on a couple of those games, since a few of the rosters won't be finalized until a judge makes up his mind about the suspensions of the six players who received four-game bans for using an illeg...

NFL Suspends Six Players Under Cover Of Night
So while the rest of the sports world was preoccupied last night with sweatpants and second helpings and trading contracts (and also some things are not related to Charlie Weis) the NFL decided to hide another little nugget of fun in the 6:00 p.m. news dump. Six players—including half of the Minneso...

This Is How Quickly A Game Can Turn
Last night, after a ridiculously silly personal foul penalty by Benny Sapp kept a Chicago drive alive, the Bears found themselves at the one-yard line with a 7-3 lead late in the first-half. A field goal would have given them a nice advantage heading toward halftime, while a touchdown would have put...