minnesota Page 71 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine!...
Vikings' Dwight Smith In Trouble Again
The Minnesota Vikings have a significant game against the Chicago Bears this Monday night, so it should come as no surprise that one of their players was arrested. That's just what they do. And I, for one, appreciate the consistency....
Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness
Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar!...
The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
A Trade That's Just Crazy Enough To Work!
The baseball winter meetings start next week, and that means countless unsubstantiated guesswork and fantasy trade scenarios. That's the fun of it, really; it will distract you from the horror that comes when your team gives $12 million for four years to Kyle Lohse....
Remember, Only YOU Can Make 'Toine An All-Star
Maj announced the Vote 'Toine campaign last weekend, but I felt it beared repeating: Antoine Walker needs to be an All-Star. I mean we're talking about 10.6 points per game here, people. 1.5 assists. Over 55% from the free-throw line! He's danced with Michael Jackson; starred in numerous cinematic ...
We Are No Longer To Speak Of Carltown
Excuse my inner-Lukas, but that right there, my friends, is one ugly-ass looking hockey jersey. It looks like Christmas banged "old" and that's what popped out. But hey, that didn't stop someone from bidding $65+ on eBay for it. And you know what? I almost did, too! Someone had to help a fallen brot...
Packers Bong Guy Keeps Putting Lotion In The Basket
You may remember the not-at-all-creepy fellow who celebrated Brett Favre's 420th touchdown in the only appropriate fashion. Well, he has a new hit video, in honor of the Packers' shellacking of the Vikings last week....
Mourning Your Grandmother Is Fineable Offense For Vikings
When we first heard that Minnesota Vikings wide receiver was being docked a game's pay for missing a game for his grandmother's funeral, we figured there had to be a catch. He had a history of skipping practice. He was generally an attitude problem. His grandmother was a Fascist. Something. But nope...
The Detmer-Favre Rivalry Continues
The Vikings just signed Koy Detmer, and he very well might play this weekend against the Packers. I Dislike Your Favorite Team brings back this video of the last time Detmer and Brett Favre faced off....
Teewee Wistings, How Womantic
First, the College Football: • 12 noon — Wisconsin at Ohio State [BTN ... sorry, Comcastic Columbus!] • 12 noon — Indiana at Ball State [BTN] • 12 noon — Purdue at Penn State [ESPN] • 12 noon — Iowa at Northwestern [ESPN2] • 12:30 p.m. — Kansas State at Iowa State [Versus] • 2:30 p.m. — Navy at Notr...
Oh, No, You Didn't Forget About Jeff, Did You?
If it's almost November, that can only mean one thing: Time for Jeff George's annual desperate plea to come back to the NFL!...
Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?
• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exa...
Kirby Puckett, Off-Off-Broadway
When Kirby Puckett died last year, he left behind a most complicated legacy....
It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here....
R.I.P. Eddie Griffin
We send our condolences to the family and friends of former Timberwolves guard Eddie Griffin, who was killed last Friday when his SUV hit a moving train. Word of his death in Houston only came out yesterday....
Johan Santana Is Mr. August
This will be your one and only Bert Blyleven update for this season, so pay attention. Blyleven, to my knowledge the only Minnesota Twins starting pitcher to have been born in Zeist, Netherlands, struck out 15 Oakland Athletics on Aug. 1, 1986; a Twins record. Or it was, until Johan Santana struck o...
Locate Your Local Viking
From Chiefs Coalition comes this photo from ... well, we're not sure where it's from. But we're having a really difficult time figuring out where that Vikings' hands and feet go....