minnesota Page 75 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Closer: Finally, Some Power In Minnesota
Notes from a day in baseball:...

"You Want Me To Do That With You?"
The mad geniuses at Free Darko aren't taking the summer off: They're finding absolute gems like this video, which features Timberwolves superstar Kevin Garnett gets his Bob Harris on while visiting an Asian television show....

The Closer: Twins, Twins Everywhere
Notes from a day in baseball:...

The Closer: It's A Joe, Out Of Control
Notes from a day in baseball ......

The Diligent Fact-Checking Of Sports Radio
Dan Serafini was a journeyman pitcher in the late '90s, not doing much to distinguish himself, save for maybe being traded for Brandon Pernell. (Note: Brandon Pernell is no one of note.) But a Cubs fan looking to muse on all matters bloggish decided to name his site Serafini Says, because he used ...

Eddie Griffin's Odd Film Choices
In case you were in desperate need of some of the inside details of the Eddie Griffin masturbating in his car story — and, obviously, you were, because what person in his right mind isn't? — the official PDF version of the complaint in the lawsuit against him has been released. Our personal favori...

Joe Mauer: Man Muscles, And Stylish Classics, For Every Moment
We'll admit it; we love Bat-girl. She would be our one and only Internet squeeze, if it wasn't for our desperate, wholly inappropriate cyber crush on Ashley Harkleroad. One reason that Bat-girl is the best: She recently gave us this, the Joe Mauer Fashion Spread from Travel and Leisure Magazine. Y...

Eddie Griffin Needs To Mind His Surroundings
OK, so we formally apologize for taking until 10 a.m. today to get to this. It's been a busy morning....

When Bat Boys Attack
If you were to believe television broadcasts, every fan who runs on the field is violently tackled, beaten or otherwise pummeled. Networks won't show a guy who's just running around, but they love to see him hammered. Hence, last night's Boston-Minnesota game, when a bat boy wallops a sliding fan an...

Question Seems Perfectly Logical To Us
Former Minnesota Twins Bert Blyleven occassionally takes time out of pleading for Hall of Fame election — justifiably, if you ask us — to broadcast Twins games for Fox Sports. The other evening, he was put in the unfortunate position of having to talk to former "American Idol" contest Ace Young (a...

...And The Sex Boat Sails Out Of Our Lives
It looks like we may be officially closing the cabin door on the Minnesota sex boat incident. Both Bryant McKinnie and Fred Smoot pleaded guilty yesterday to disorderly conduct and being a public nuisance on a watercraft. They'll both get fines and community service. And here's a nice quote from t...

Onterrio, Canada
Having been released by the Minnesota Vikings, and suspended until at least October, running back Onterrio Smith is heading to the Canadian Football League, where the laws about fake penises are much more relaxed....

Culpepper Now Free To Have Naked Women Dance In His General Vicinity (But There, And Only There)
New Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper need not worry about the potential new ramifications of the term "lap dance" from jail; he has been cleared of all charges in the sex boat incident. His former teammate Moe Williams was not so lucky; he'll still have to strand trial, along with decidedly m...

Three Tiny Tidbits On: The Twins
Baseball is here! Inspired by an old feature on The Black Table, we're previewing the season by going team-by-team and distributing Four Things You Don't Know about them. If you have suggested oddities on your team, send them to us at [email protected]. Today: The Minnesota Twins....

It's Almost Opening Day! AL Central Preview
We almost forgot in all the George Mason hysteria, but, jeez, folks, baseball starts, like, Sunday. So, we figured it was probably time to start paying attention. Henceforth, we're going to be previewing each division, two a day, through the end of the week. We thought we'd start with the America...

What Is A Lap Dance? You Know, In An Existential Sense, Aren't We All Just God's Lap Dancers?
So the Vikings sex boat trial in Minnesota is going on, like, right now. Well, kind of; former quarterback Daunte Culpepper and fullback Moe Williams are trying to talk a judge into dismissing charges against them. The two players were charged, pretty much, with receiving lap dances, which has spu...

Culpepper To Spend Plenty Of Time Near Water
The Orlando Sentinel and FOX Sports are reporting that the trade is official: Daunte Culpepper has been traded to the Miami Dolphins....

LeCharles Bentley Is Pretty In Brown
Day one of the NFL's free agent season was fairly quiet with none of the really big names finding new homes. The Cleveland Browns have made the biggest splash so far, singing offensive linemen LeCharles Bentley, Kevin Shaffer, and wide receiver Joe Jerevicius....

Remembering Kirby Puckett
As you've surely heard by now, Twins Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett died last night at the age of 45. Puckett was a player who was impossible to dislike; he played baseball the way we all imagine we would, if we had the chance. His post-retirement career was smeared by Frank Deford's famous Sports Il...