mlb-closer Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
These Are Clapping Dogs, Rhythmic Dogs, First-Pitching Dogs, House Dogs, Street Dogs
Uno, who I believe was named for the card game I never bothered to learn, continues to blaze trails for doggykind. Back in February, he became the first beagle ever to win the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (though Snoopy remains the first to be a World War I flying ace). Yesterday, he "threw" ou...
The All-Seeing Eye Thinks Your Hair Looks Fine
The curtailing of the About Last Night... feature eliminates some of my opportunity for monkeyshines (that is, gratuitous monkey references shoehorned into otherwise putatively sports-related posts). But this Sauron-esque picture from last night's Marlins-Dodgers games caught my, uh, notice. Best u...
How Will Yankees Fans Greet A-Rod Tonight?
Thank God for the Yankees that their next series with Boston is in New York. With a separation from wife Cynthia and rumors of canoodling with Madonna thicker than Newman's Own Thousand Island dressing, Alex Rodriguez must have more on his mind than Jonathan Papelbon. But how will his own fans greet...
There's Nothing More Annoying Than A Rays Fan With A Cowbell
OK, first of all, Cowbell Kid may seem pretty impressive when he's among his own in Tropicana Field, but I'd like to see him tearing down banners and clanging his bell at Fenway ... or Yankee Stadium, for that matter. Can Cowbell Kid win on the road? That's the question. As for the Rays, they've ans...
Rays, Red Sox Let Us All Down, Fail To Brawl
So what happened to Jonathan Papelbon's prediction of fisticuffs and other mayhem when the Red Sox returned to Tropicana Field? No brushbacks or punches or obscene gestures ... all we got was some lame identity theft. Rays manager Joe Maddon spent much of Monday trying to cancel his debiit card, whi...
We Who Are About To Die Salute You
The Cubs really don't have a reasonable explanation as to why they suck so relatively badly on the road. The White Sox beat the Cubs 5-1 on Sunday to complete a three-game sweep, the North side's eighth loss in the past 12 games. And here we see Mr. Kerry Wood trying to explain it, as you probably s...
Windy City Teams On Verge Of Trading Sweeps; Kerry Wood Not Pleased
Despite getting the catchy nickname of "One of the most consistent hitters in the game" by teammate Matt Murton, Aramis Ramirez failed to take advantage of a lead-off double in the 9th by Derrek Lee. With one out and Lee on third, Bobby Jenks forced the Cubbie into grounding out weakly to short when...
Sir Sidney Gives Up No Runs; Probably Ate Them All
Sidney Ponson made his unceremonious (only to Ponson, as ceremonious occasions usually have bacon gravy) return to the Yankees in the second half of a two-ballpark doubleheader yesterday with the cross-Gotham Mets. And he laid into them like they were an Aruban judge, tossing six shutout innings in ...
Shawn Chacon Is Now Looking For Work
Time is running out to claim Shawn Chacon on waivers! Act now, and you will receive one slightly used Major League pitcher, ERA just above 5.00, with a tendency to throttle when perturbed. Buy it now price: $2 million. Chacon was put on waivers Thursday by the Houston Astros, one day after and unfor...
Look At Those Crazy Rays, And The Dead Fish
• Battered Fish. A 10-run inning? Wha? The Battle of Florida is not going well for the Marlins, as Tampa Bay enjoyed a 10-run, 14-batter, 32-minute fifth inning on its way to a 15-3 win. Carl Crawford had two homers and five RBI. Believe it or not, it wasn't a franchise record for the Rays, who once...
Much Excitement In The Area Where The Allegheny And Monongahela Converge To Form The Ohio River
Wouldn't it be ironic — in a fun, cosmic sort of way — if the turning point for the Pittsburgh Pirates' franchise came on Tuesday night? It was the first time since 1960 that the New York Yankees had played in Pittsburgh, when, as you surely recall, Bill Mazeroski won Game 7 of the World Series with...
Behold The Awesome Offensive Power Of American League Pitchers
Ha! Take that Hank Steinbrenner, you big dolt. Pitchers shouldn't hit? Felix Hernandez hit the first grand slam by an American League pitcher in 37 years, leading the Mariners over the Mets 5-2 on Monday night. Hernandez did get hurt; but not running the bases, as Steinbrenner imagines in his sweaty...
Welcome To The Battle Of Chicago
Now that's what I'm talking about. This is how you do a rivalry, people. North Side vs. South Side, Ozzie vs. Lou. Plenty of trash talk. Copious amounts of Ryan Dempster. Let's get it on! When Round 1 was over on Sunday the Cubs had done it; swept the White Sox in the Friendly Confines. Round 2 comi...
C.C. Is Not A Singles Hitter
After a rough start to the season Cleveland's C.C. Sabathia has found his groove on the mound, and now at the plate as well. The rotund power pitcher didn't like his teammates calling him a singles hitter after last year's round of interleague play, so he stepped into the box in his first at bat of ...
Elijah Dukes Is A Bad Bad Man
The Rangers (née Senators) and the Nationals (like the Senators minus Frank Howard) took 14 innings to decide things before Elijah Dukes delivered with his second walk-off hit of the month. Back on June 5th Dukes finally crossed the Mendoza line with four hits, including a 10th inning game-winning h...
Yankees Officially The Hottest Team In Baseball. Discuss
Joba Chamberlain pitched well, but didn't get the decision. Alex Rodriguez singled in the go-ahead run. Derek Jeter, his pillow wet from tears, was 2-for-3 with a run scored. The Yankees beat the Padres 2-1 on Thursday for their seventh straight win — New York's longest winning streak of the season...
They're Not Booing, They're Saying 'Drewwwww' ... Oh Wait, Yeah, They're Booing
It was in the Simpsons episode Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play that Homer, disgusted at a player during an Isotopes game, hurls various batteries onto the field, following it up by throwing an electric drill. J.D. Drew knows the feeling. Each time he plays in Philadelphia, the calm, measured Cit...
One Game In, And Jerry Manuel Is Already Wondering Why He Took This Job
So why did the firing of Willie Randolph occur so late on Monday night (Tuesday morning, actually)? Turns out that Mets general manager Omar Minaya actually flew to Anaheim, checked in to the team hotel and waited to deliver the news to Randolph person....
Sinking Mariners Jettison GM, Yet Richie Sexson Continues To Have A Job
Baseball's biggest upset so far this season? How Mariners manager John McLaren outlasted Mets manager Willie Randolph. Of course the Mariners did fire general manager Bill Bavasi on Monday, replacing him with associate GM Lee Pelekoudas, who will serve on an interim basis. Meanwhile, Seattle is 22 ...
Cardinals Are Just Barely Hanging On
In George Carlin's noted examination of the differences between baseball and football, he describes baseball as "A 19th century pastoral game. Baseball begins in the spring; the season of new life. The idea is to go home. I just want to go home." True, for the most part; save for the occasional har...