mlb-closer Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Presenting Dr. Joe Morgan's Players Of The Day
Caught up in all the hysteria this weekend was Joe Morgan being awarded an honorary doctorate from California State University-East Bay. Don't be too impressed, because I'm pretty sure one summer those came free with the purchase of an In-N-Out Burger combo of equal or lesser value....
A Pox, Ye Shall Receive Twenty Lashes
So you know what's a good baseball score? 6-4. Everyone scores a little, the game's close, and even with a runner on in the 9th, there's always a chance this beaut could be tied up. Know what's a bad score? 20-2. Those are the scores that make the casual fan cringe. Boy am I glad that's not my team....
So What's With All The Grand Slams All Of A Sudden?
So how come all the fat pitches with the bases loaded the past few days? Hideki Matsui celebrated his 34th birthday with a grand slam on Thursday to lead the Yankees over the Athletics 4-1; helping Andy Pettitte move into a tie for fourth place on the team career wins list....
Milton Bradley Would Like To Have A Word If You've Got A Minute
So Texas Rangers general manager Jon Daniels said that Milton Bradley was "acting cordially" and "wanted to set the record straight" after Bradley's near confrontation with TV play-by-play man Ryan Lefebvre following their game with the Royals Wednesday. Yep, that's exactly how it sounds to me:...
Pujols Breaks Down, Will Not Be Shot
We all know that Ken Griffey Jr. is injury prone, but is it communicable? No sooner had the Cardinals landed in Cincinnati than Albert Pujols pulled up lame — strained calf — and had to be taken off the field in a wheelbarrow. Earlier he had teamed with Super Friend Rick Ankiel for back-to-back home...
The 600
It was kind of surreal to see Ken Griffey Jr.'s 600th home run land in the sparsely populated Dolphins Stadium bleachers. Announced attendance was 16,003 — about two grand above the team's average this season — and aside for a mild scramble for the souvenier, there wasn't much of a fuss. Fitting, i...
Joba Would Like To Take Off the Training Wheels Now
Until Hank Steinbrenner can get Dayan Viciedo signed, five innings of Joba Chamberlain are going to have to do. Chamberlain, who was lambasted by critics and audiences alike in his first starting role last week, came back with a slightly stronger effort on Sunday to lead the Yankees over the Royals...
This Should Quiet Those Stupid "True Yankee" Questions
This faithful little guttersnipe is Gerrit Cole, pictured here at the tender age of 11 attending the 2001 World Series, who this week was selected as the Yankees first-round pick. Yesterday capped a pretty good week for Cole, as the Bombers returned to .500, where they seems to be teetering lately,...
Kuroda Is The New Rikishi
This lissome fellow is Mongolian sumo wrestler Hakuho, who looks to be contemplating where to start peeling the foil off the hardball to get to the chocolately goodness within. I've tried Hakuho, it's pretty low-grade stuff. He was one of a group of sumo on hand to watch the Dodgers Hiroki Kuroda d...
Just Another Quiet Day In The AL East
His real name is Covelli Loyce Crisp, but you knew that. What you may not have known, is that Coco Crisp's father was a boxer, and his mother was a champion sprinter. So the Red Sox outfielder's actions on Thursday — charging the mound and throwing haymakers after getting plunked by the Rays' James...
Call The Kids, It's Another Profanity-Laced Tirade!
Ah, to return to the halcyon days of March 31, when the Mariners were 1-0 and all was right with the world. But today they're 18 games below .500, having lost four straight and 12 of their past 15. The latest, a 4-3 5-4 loss to the Angels, prompted manager John McLaren to spew some choice profanitie...
The Joy And Despair Of Two New York Pitching Debuts
So as we check in this morning on the great city and state of New York, we see much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the daring Joba-Chamberlain-as-a-starter experiment (he flew too close to the sun on mashed potato wings), and great rejoicing over the return of Pedro Martinez. Joba lasted just 2...
Chase Utley Is The Most Interesting Man In The World
Chase Utley is lighter than air, can charm the birds out of the trees and never forgets your birthday. His blood smells like cologne. He also makes diving, backhanded catches, has hit 21 home runs, will run into the catcher full tilt and is not opposed to bunting his way on base. On Monday, his hero...
Cubs Sail Blindly Into Uncharted Waters
So Chicagoans awoke this morning, poked themselves with sharp objects and discovered that, no, they weren't dreaming. As the sun came up on the month of June, Cubs fans found themselves with the best record in baseball; the first time that has happened so late in the season since Heinie Zimmerman a...
Jim Edmonds Is Useful!
Well, at least for a day. The recent Padres castoff, coming in batting an Andruw Jones-esque .167, went 3-for-4 with a homer as the Cubs charged back from an 8-0 deficit to overcome the Rockies 10-9. The Cubbies went deep four times, including back-to-backage from Fukudome and Edmonds, to stay a gam...
Larry Wayne Jones Jr. And The Chase For .400
The controversy continues to rage: Should a grown man answer to the name of Chipper? My vote is no, unless you appeared in a '60s sitcom starring Fred MacMurray, or are hitting over .400 in the major leagues. Here's to Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves, who is hitting .420 as of Thursday night aft...
The (Bleep) Pot Is Boiling Over In Kansas City. (Bleep)
Speaking just for myself, I think it's refreshing that we have a profanity-laced, post-game tirade by someone named Guillen whose first name is not Ozzie. Meet José Guillen, the Royals outfielder who lit into teammates on Wednesday following their 9-8, 10-inning loss to the Twins, which ran Kansas C...
Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...
Willie Randolph Still Employed, But Watch This Space For Further Developments
New Yorkers keen on saving the environment can dig up all of that old Fire Isiah signage, and with a few quick edits, can make fun, functional Fire Willie signs. It's the least you can do to help save the planet. Only moments after top brass announced that he will not be fired (at least not this min...
Beckett And Boston Get ________ed
Justin Duchscherer was joking around before his start against the Boston Red Sox: ''I said, 'Those guys don't want none of me today 'cuz I'm going to pull a Lester on 'em,'' Duchscherer recalled with a grin. ''In the sixth inning, I was thinking, 'Did I really say that before the game?' '' Yes, Just...