mlb Page 499 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Texas Fan Celebrates His New Souvenir With A Double-Barreled Salute
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mariners Circle The Wagons After Griffey Nap Flap
Guess whose fault it was that published reports said Ken Griffey Jr. was asleep in the clubhouse during a game? Well, if you ask the Mariners, it was anyone's fault but Griffey's....

The Phillies Are Probably Stealing Signs. So What?
After the Rockies accused Philadelphia of using binoculars to steal signs from the bullpen, MLB checked the video, and sure enough, they issued the Phillies a warning. We don't really see the problem with this....

World Leaders Force Jays To Play Home Dates In Philly
MLB has moved the scheduled Blue Jays/Phillies series out of Toronto to avoid conflicting with the G20 summit. Jays fans are, shall we say, royally pissed....

Lenny Dykstra Turns To The Last Refuge Of A Scoundrel: Craigslist
For the low low price of $3200 (which isn't nearly low enough), Dykstra will sign some magazine articles for you, put them under glass, and give you a phone call too. Collect, I would assume. [Craigslist]...

Let's All Watch Baseball With The Sound Off Tonight
Before we go any further, can we all agree that this is just a little bit creepy? The tributes are nice, but I would prefer not to remember Ernie Harwell via cellphone pictures of him basking in the Detroit sun....

Dallas Braden's Perfecto: A Musical Retrospective
Dallas Braden became the world's most notable mound-owning, finger-mustache-tattoo enthusiast on Sunday when he threw the 19th perfect game in MLB history. To celebrate, here are all 27 outs set to a song Braden undoubtedly likes. [Tune-age via The Misfits]...

Ken Griffey And Keith Hernandez, Together In Mid-Game Slumber
Both the Mariners DH and the Mets announcer (on camera!) took unscheduled naps during recent games. One is going to be out of a job very soon. The other, well, "he's Keith Hernandez."...

Royals Set Dangerous Cash-For-Errors Precedent
Catching a pop-up one-handed, at shoulder level, looks really cool. As long as you make the catch. Yuniesky Betancourt didn't make the catch, and he was fined for it. This is KC's solution, instead of teaching him the right way....

Other Things They Do In The 209, Apparently: Throw Perfect Games (UPDATE)
Dallas Braden, last seen hereabouts mistaking Stockton, Calif., for Tombstone, just threw the 19th perfect game in MLB history, against the Rays. They don't do much hitting in the 727, do they? UPDATE: And now Braden's grandmother starts shit-talking A-Rod, too....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

Dallas Braden's Dumb Feud With A-Rod Manages To Get Dumber
The A's lefthander took exception a few weeks ago when A-Rod ran across the mound, a violation of one of a thousand unwritten rules in baseball that remain unwritten for the simple reason that they're stupid. And we're still talking about it....

So, About That Cubs-Lighting-Their-Farts Story
By now you've probably heard the rumor that Chicago's Jeff Baker missed time because he burned his backside trying to light a fart in the clubhouse. We thought this was worth some investigation....

Indians Announcer Goes On Epic Indians Rant On The Indians' Network
Bruce Drennan has had it up to here with the Indians' poor play this season. Yesterday, he decided to go through his scoresheet and give each player an equal-opportunity ripping, looking like a Don Rickles-Gilbert Gottfried hybrid in the process. [WFNY]...

The $1 Million <em>MLB 2K10</em> Perfect Game Contest Has Come To An End
An Alabama man was the first to record a perfect game in the previously outlined contest, saying it was "a nice return on my investment." Commence hacky "now he can afford to move out of his mother's trailer" jokes below. [Kotaku]...

Chase Utley's Dirty Underwear Can Be Yours
Someone on Craigslist is offering underwear purported to have been worn by Utley during the 2008 World Series. "They have not been washed." I just want to know why it's listed under "erotic," rather than "for sale." [Craigslist]...

Cake Typo Gives Bobby "Cocks" An Excellent Post-Baseball Porn Name
The Senate invited the Braves manager to Capitol Hill to celebrate his upcoming retirement, complete with a misspelled cake that read "Thanks For 50 Great Years Bobby Cocks." Bobby Years, on the other hand, is still sore. [DC Sports Bog]...

Ernie Harwell's Baseball, In His Own Words
Go read Harwell's 1981 Hall of Fame induction speech, featuring his oft-told poetic definition of the game that was written in 1955, but still holds true today. [Baseball Almanac]...

And Now, The Taser Video You've All Been Waiting For
Ah, baseball. The crack of the bat. The feel of the grass. The smell of burning hair, as 1200 volts of electricity course through a 17-year-old's nervous system....

<em>Are We Winning?</em> Book "Tour" Details
The last time I did one of those book tour things, it was a massive endeavor that took years off my life. We're dialing it a bit back this time. (Oh, yeah, this book.)...