mlb Page 501 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rockies President, 48, Found Dead
Rockies president Keli McGregor, said to be "in top physical shape," was found dead this morning in a Salt Lake City hotel room. Cops say he died of natural causes. [Denver Post]...
MLB PED Suspension Imminent, Submit Your Wild Speculation PDQ (UPDATE: We Have A Winner)
Rumors say that a "semi-big" Major League Baseball player is about to be suspended for a performance enhancing drug violation. To win the game, you must identify the player, the drug and the ESPN personality they will tearfully "confess" to....
Warning: The Washington Nationals Do Not Advocate Lady Punching
Despite the obviously incomplete picture portrayed in this fraction of a drawing, the Washington Nationals baseball club would like officially go on the record as being against slugging unsuspecting women in the back of the head. That's a relief....
Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing....
Pablo The Panda And The Worst Souvenir Ever
I want you, for a moment, to picture Pablo Sandoval's crotch. Now imagine getting smacked in the face with something that spends all day down there....
Mistaken Bomb Threat Aimed At Yankee Fans
Metro-North Railroad meant to play a recording notifying passengers of train service to Yankee Stadium. They instead played a warning of a bomb threat. Hey, whatever helps explain those empty seats behind home plate. [StationStops via Couchwarmers]...
Apropos Of Nothing, Here's Phillies Vomit Kid Doing Madonna Karaoke
Mean-spirited? Yeah, a little. Only tangentially related to sports? Sure. But fuck it. Here's Matthew Clemmens (stage name: Pukemon) with "Material Girl."...
Absurdly Long Games Are Just The Greatest
The Mets' and Cardinals' 20-inning, 6-hour and 53-minute marathon was the most fascinating game we're likely to see all year. Let's do the post-mortem....
Orioles Combat Flagging Interest By...Turning Down Cal Ripken For A Job?
Your team's terrible. Your attendance is worse. What better way to add a little excitement than bringing your franchise's most beloved figure back under the O's umbrella? That's a rhetorical question, unless you're Peter Angelos....
A Blow-By-Blow Account Of The Vomiting Phillies Fan
In our #tips section, we received a purported firsthand account from someone sitting in the same section as Matthew Clemens, the New Jersey man accused of throwing up on an 11-year-old girl. We reprint it here for your reading pleasure....
More Fun With Baseball Names
It's the All-Jane Austen Team, featuring such fine country gentleman as Chad Billingsley, Micah Hoffpauir, Gordon Beckham III, and one Ryan Benjamin Rowland-Smith. Oh, I do hope the landed gentry aren't too scandalized! [Lookout Landing]...
Last Night's Winner: Not This Guy
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unlike this Phillies fan, who on Wednesday at Citizens Bank Park allegedly jammed his fingers down his throat and vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father....
Security Guard Beats Up Fan At Dodgers Game
This video, shot on Opening Day at Dodger Stadium, has it all: some casual racism, a flying chest-kick, the security-guard-on-fan action that everyone loves, and the inevitable Greek chorus yelling, "It's going on YouTube!" [YouTube; earlier]...
Where Are All The Fans? Watching Soccer, Actually
We're barely a week into the season, and already teams are freaking right the fuck out about empty seats. And the numbers sure have been embarrassing....
Wrigley Sign Protesters Were Clueless Craigslist Hires
Protesters against the new outfield sign at Wrigley were out in force at the Cubs home opener. Clearly this is an issue near and dear to fans' hearts. Or maybe it was the $25 bucks they were paid via Craigslist....
Scott Stapp Ruins Baseball
Here's Stapp, known to you as lead singer for the band that made you hate both music and God, howling a song called "Marlins Will Soar." Sample lyric: "Let's play ball, it's gameday. We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays." [Stapp's Blog]...
The Steroids Menace Eradicated, Congress Goes After Dip
Congress called on baseball to ban players from using smokeless tobacco in the dugout. But without chaw, what am I supposed to pretend my Big League Chew is? [AP]...
Phillies' Season Officially Kicked Off By Lap Dance For The Handicapped
It's a couple days old, but we needed time to come to terms with this video of a man in a Jazzy Scooter getting ridden by one of Philly's, um, Phinest. [via Busted Coverage]...
Dodger Games Slightly Less Violent and Chaotic This Year
Did you know tailgating is illegal in Dodger Stadium parking lots? Neither did the 132 arrested at the home opener yesterday—which is still better than last season when a guy got stabbed. That's progress! [LA Times]...
Jay Bruce Apologizes For Gesture That Offended Precisely No One
Oh, come on. Really? "It's not a laughing matter, obviously. It's one of the more stupid things I had ever done. It was an honest mistake. ... I want to apologize to the fans, my team, ownership, everyone who supports me." [MLB]...