mlb Page 515 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Arch Criminals Make Off With Baltimore's Only Memory Of Cal Ripken Jr.
How bad has crime become in Baltimore now that The Wire is off the air? Hooligans pilfered a three-foot high aluminum number "8" from Camden Yards last week. Now no one in the city can count to nine....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Dodger Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Dodger Stadium....
Brad Penny Does Not Appreciate Your Mock Grunting
Even as Penny dominates NL hitting like a grown man mowing through Little Leaguers, he still carries himself like a toddler on the mound, ranting and raving about everything. So it goes without saying: Mock him at your own risk....
Nationals Manager Says Baseball Isn't "Physically Taxing"
Interim Washington manager Jim Riggleman doesn't want to hear about late-season blues wearing his team down, because baseball isn't even that hard to begin with. Especially when you play it the Washington Nationals way!...
If Ya Can't Beat Em, Dress Up Like A Lady
So the saying goes. Here's rookie fuck David Price, preparing to "work his rookie magic" in the South Bronx after last night's 4-2 loss at Yankee stadium. [ESPN]...
When Stinky Met Pujols
Be honest: Your inner 8-year-old has been waiting for a moment very much like this ever since Albert Pujols cracked the majors in 2001....
Cole Hamels Continues His Slow Transformation Into A Doily
Here, via Philebrity, is an advertisement from the new issue of Philadelphia Magazine, in which the Hamels family tries to sell you a luxury condo by posing like a couple of Precious Moments figurines in front of a horrified city....
Speaking Of Awesome And Excessive Baseball Celebrations
Tiger's closer Fernando Rodney has been suspended 3 games for endangering a crowd with this mighty heave after closing a tight game in Tampa last week. Rodney claims the toss, which scattered a group of reporters, was not malicious. [MLB.com]...
Baseball Pretends To Be Appalled By Prince Fielder's Home Run Celebration
Prince Fielder and his Brewers teammates, who celebrated Sunday's walk-off victory over the Giants with a little Jerome Robbins number, now stand accused of excessive immodesty by the Holy Church of Baseball People Who Need To Lighten The Hell Up....
Curt Schilling Says Possible Senate Bid "Not For Laughs"
"I have no ambition to enter into a life of politics," Schilling blogs. But for when he does, Curt's conveniently laid out his positions for MA voters on everything from gun control to gay marriage. [38 pitches]...
SEIUbermetrics
"In a comparison between [MLB] teams with home stadiums that use Aramark and teams with home stadiums that do not, Workers United found that non-Aramark teams' average luck is .40 and Aramark teams' average luck is -1.93." [Workers United]...
Why Your Half-Day Sucks
Because most of you are stuck in traffic right now, this week's exciting installment of Why George Will Sucks will run next week. Keep sending in your Dodger Stadium stories: [email protected]....
OK, Enough With The Contrarian MVP Crap
Joe Mauer is your AL MVP. Not Mark Teixeira. Not Kendry Morales. Not Derek Jeter. He is MVP by just about every standard imaginable except for the one applied by bored sportswriters who need copy during an inert pennant race....
Alex Rodriguez Loves His Mounties
A-Rod got a little up close and personal with the Toronto police department last night and, as is his wont, he got a little handsy. Come on, Kate Hudson. Can't you control your man?...
A Season Of Failure, Graphical Edition
A visually oriented Mets fan does a great Edward Tufte number on his team's injury-ridden, hell-spawn season. The best thing you can say about the Mets now is that no club inspires such rigorously detailed postmortems. Amazin'! [seanengelhardt.com]...
Wes Helms Gets Off When You Fight
On Wednesday, a shouting match between Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla seemed to foretell the 2009 collapse of the Florida Marlins. The clubhouse was imploding along with the team's slim wild card hopes—just as Wes Helms had planned...
Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....
Aaron Boone Plays Baseball, Heart Doesn't Explode
The guy had open heart surgery in March, but was in the lineup for the Astros yesterday. Oh-for-3, but he did make a nifty play in the field. And his aorta is still intact, so that's a plus. [MLB.com]...
Ken Griffey Jr. Helps Welcome Adrian Beltre Back After Testicle Mishap
"When Beltre came up for his first at-bat, the theme for Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker" was played, a gesture from Ken Griffey Jr., whose MRI on his knee showed no structural damage." [SeattlePI]...
Tampa Bay Rays Employee Takes It Upon Himself To Keep Playoff Hopes Alive
And the best way to possibly do that is to plant a fake bomb as a "practical joke" in Tropicana Field before the Red Sox series. The Rays are still six games back in the AL Wild Card race. [StPeteTimes]...