mlb Page 516 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lenny Dykstra Now Reduced To Stealing From Wayne Gretzky
Dykstra may not have a wad of cash anymore, but at least he has two multi-million dollar homes. Whoops! Seems he's been banned from entering those, because Nails has been stealing anything not nailed down....
A <em>Star Wars</em> Geek, Randy Wolf Is
Asked, in the best Q&A ever, which Star Wars character would make the ideal baseball player, Wolf responds: "[T]he Emperor is unstoppable. He seems like he could pretty much get it done." It's true. His stuff is electric. [StarWars.com]...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Petco Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Petco Park....
Yankees More Than Willing To Employ Crazy Old Men
Senior citizens are suing the Bombers for age discrimination after one was asked in a job interview, "What could someone 73 years old offer the Yankees?" I don't know...lunatic micromanagement and a Dave Winfield blackmail file? [NYPost]...
This Man Has An Opinion On The NL West
Former Journey lead singer Steve Perry is a Giants fan. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the Dodgers' 2009 anthem. That, in the journalism industry, is what we call: conflict!...
The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....
Nationals Hat A Terrorist Symbol Now
Would you associate this logo with evil? With soul-crushing sorrow, and with everything that is bad and wrong in the world? Of course you would. But terrorism?...
Arch Criminals Make Off With Baltimore's Only Memory Of Cal Ripken Jr.
How bad has crime become in Baltimore now that The Wire is off the air? Hooligans pilfered a three-foot high aluminum number "8" from Camden Yards last week. Now no one in the city can count to nine....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Dodger Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Dodger Stadium....
Brad Penny Does Not Appreciate Your Mock Grunting
Even as Penny dominates NL hitting like a grown man mowing through Little Leaguers, he still carries himself like a toddler on the mound, ranting and raving about everything. So it goes without saying: Mock him at your own risk....
Nationals Manager Says Baseball Isn't "Physically Taxing"
Interim Washington manager Jim Riggleman doesn't want to hear about late-season blues wearing his team down, because baseball isn't even that hard to begin with. Especially when you play it the Washington Nationals way!...
If Ya Can't Beat Em, Dress Up Like A Lady
So the saying goes. Here's rookie fuck David Price, preparing to "work his rookie magic" in the South Bronx after last night's 4-2 loss at Yankee stadium. [ESPN]...
When Stinky Met Pujols
Be honest: Your inner 8-year-old has been waiting for a moment very much like this ever since Albert Pujols cracked the majors in 2001....
Cole Hamels Continues His Slow Transformation Into A Doily
Here, via Philebrity, is an advertisement from the new issue of Philadelphia Magazine, in which the Hamels family tries to sell you a luxury condo by posing like a couple of Precious Moments figurines in front of a horrified city....
Speaking Of Awesome And Excessive Baseball Celebrations
Tiger's closer Fernando Rodney has been suspended 3 games for endangering a crowd with this mighty heave after closing a tight game in Tampa last week. Rodney claims the toss, which scattered a group of reporters, was not malicious. [MLB.com]...
Baseball Pretends To Be Appalled By Prince Fielder's Home Run Celebration
Prince Fielder and his Brewers teammates, who celebrated Sunday's walk-off victory over the Giants with a little Jerome Robbins number, now stand accused of excessive immodesty by the Holy Church of Baseball People Who Need To Lighten The Hell Up....
Curt Schilling Says Possible Senate Bid "Not For Laughs"
"I have no ambition to enter into a life of politics," Schilling blogs. But for when he does, Curt's conveniently laid out his positions for MA voters on everything from gun control to gay marriage. [38 pitches]...
SEIUbermetrics
"In a comparison between [MLB] teams with home stadiums that use Aramark and teams with home stadiums that do not, Workers United found that non-Aramark teams' average luck is .40 and Aramark teams' average luck is -1.93." [Workers United]...
Why Your Half-Day Sucks
Because most of you are stuck in traffic right now, this week's exciting installment of Why George Will Sucks will run next week. Keep sending in your Dodger Stadium stories: [email protected]....
OK, Enough With The Contrarian MVP Crap
Joe Mauer is your AL MVP. Not Mark Teixeira. Not Kendry Morales. Not Derek Jeter. He is MVP by just about every standard imaginable except for the one applied by bored sportswriters who need copy during an inert pennant race....