mlb Page 545 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Begun, The Manny Bidding Wars Have
It was highly entertaining when the New York Post reported late last night that the Dodgers had offered Manny Ramirez $60 million over two years; which would have made him the highest-paid baseball player in history. The claim is highly dubious, coming as it did minutes before Ramirez declared free ...
Gentlemen, Start Your Hangovers
God only knows where Daulerio is or what he's doing at this hour; hopefully he wasn't involved in the carnage above. Was that a bus shelter? Anyway, the last I heard from him was in a garbled cell phone message, screaming something about attending today's Phillies' victory parade. So don't be surpri...
Us Did It! Phillies Are World Series Champions
They sure took their sweet time, but after the most adrenaline-packed three-and-a-half innings of baseball all year (maybe ever?) the Phillies take the lead twice, with the second one sticking for a 4-3 victory, vanquishing the Tampa Bay Rays in five games. Geoff Jenkins led off the game with a pinc...
World Series Game Five Live Blog 33-1/3: The Final Insult
Last time on "World Series Test Cricket," our Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays were tied 2-2 in the middle of the 6th inning. Please slip on the underwear you adorned on Tuesday (or, if you want to be accurate, Monday) and jump like it's October 27th. * * *Top 9th 3 ...
Mystery Phillies Bud Selig Chastiser Identified! (We Think)
Three sources have come forward to reveal the identity of the mystery Philadelphia Phillie responsible for the now-famous quote about Bud Selig on Monday. Upon seeing Selig in the Phillies' clubhouse following the postponement of Game 5 due to rain, a Phillies pitcher looked at him and said: "That f...
Puny Philadelphians; You Will Never Stop The Carnival Cruise Six-Story Piñata Of Doom
Despite its wish not to jinx the Phillies by prematurely planning a World Series victory parade, the City of Philadelphia tipped its hand on Tuesday in the most unlikely of ways; by disrespecting the world's largest piñata. It seems that Carnival Cruise Lines has spent months planning a huge event i...
Time To Play: Guess Which Phillie Ripped Bud Selig?
Generally I don't use anonymous quotes, unless it's concerning something really big, like when a member of the Phillies sees Bud Selig in the clubhouse following the Game 5 rain delay and utters the immortal line: "I wouldn't let him supervise one of my shits." Who is this mystery poet? Personally m...
Marisa Miller Plus Ryan Braun Equals A Whole Lot Of Ball Jokes
I like to imagine a scenario in which Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun is sitting in a conference room with his agent and a representative from the Remington razor corporation. An opportunity has been presented to the charismatic young slugger, but he is hesitant. "Remember," the Draper-esque...
It's Always Sunny In "Pittsburg"; "Phildelphia", Not So Much
Well, the weather map editors at MLB.com are obviously trying to provide their readers with the latest Doppler radar forecast for tonight's 1/3 game. Viewers in these fictional regions they've outlined on this map should consider themselves well informed. Can't knock them too much — I still get "Ci...
And It's A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall
I have to laugh at everyone who contends that God, Mother Nature, Snow Miser or whomever is cursing the Phillies with this rainout business. For a quick read on why we're still playing Game 5 of the World Series more than 24 hours after it should have ended, just check the calendar. It's nearly frea...
World Series Game Five Suspended; Phillies' One-Run Lead Delayed Rain Delay
For the entire World Series, it seems like the umpires had been under the mischievous magnifying glass of the sinister "Toy Story" neighbor Sid, just burning under the criticism. Little did you realize it'd go beyond the classic blown out-safe calls and wacky strike zones. Now it's about when to rol...
World Series Game Five Live Blog: Rays at Phillies
Well then. If Philadelphia gets a win from Cole "Lynchpin Of Hope" Hamels tonight, they win the World Series. If Scott "Zambrano" Kazmir can act as the stopper, then the Rays move the Series back to Catwalkdome and continue to fight from the corner they've put themselves in. If Tennessee wins, you'v...
Phillies Feel A World Title Is Very Close
What they're saying from parents' basements across the land on the Phillies' 10-2 win over the Rays in Game 4 of the World Series ... • Evan Longoria Shares An Intimate Moment With Jimmy Rollins. While accentuating another umpire blunder in this series (that’s #5 if you’re keeping track at home), th...
World Series Game Four Live Blog: Rays at Phillies
We've reached Game 4, which is traditionally known as either "The Desperation Start" or "Who the @&$^ Are You and Why Have We Pinned All Our Dreams to You?" Welcome to Andy Sonnanstine vs. Joe Blanton, your fourth starters. Andy's a soft tosser that doesn't walk a lot of fellows; Joe's a Billy Beane...
Jamie Moyer Was Sick Last Night, In A Very Literal Way
Last night's pitching performance by Jamie Moyer is already becoming the stuff that legends are made of. Not only did the 167-year-old baffle the Rays hitters with pinpoint accuracy and a fastball that barely reached 80mph, but according to Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal - who would be one sick bastard i...
Comcast Customers in Philly Swing, Miss at Seeing Home Runs
We started receiving rather angry emails just after midnight. No, our ex-girlfriend hadn't left her Mail Goggles off accidentally. (She never leaves it off accidentally.) The emails came instead from angry viewers in and around Philadelphia, describing their anguish and rage over missing the back-to...
World Series Game Three Live Blog: Rays at Phillies
According to our friend here and our friends Joely Fisher and Jeanne Zelasko there, we will have actual baseball tonight. As seen as TV! Needless to say, we didn't see this coming. We still don't know if this is a real nine-inning affair or if it's enough to merely get it legal. We're up for a late ...
Tiny Angel Joe Maddon Watches Over Us All
Like this poor, unfortunate sap who was ejected from Tropicana on Thursday for "misconduct," the Phillies never could quite get it together in a 4-2 loss to the Rays. What they're saying out in the ether about Game 2 of the World Series ... • Speed Read: Phillies Not Fanatical About Hitting. Decidin...
World Series Game Two Live Blog: Phillies At Rays
Pitching, we have Brett "Left Hook" Myers and James Shields, not "Hields That Begin With The Letter 'S' " on the mound. Talking, it's Joe Buck (pictured) and Tim McCarver (imagined.) Jumping, is viewers like you. * * *Top 9th 2 ...
Two Phillie Dogs To Go, Please
Angel and Sandy of Lindenwold, N.J., prepare for an exciting Game 1 of the 2008 World Series, as Wizard Cat types a furious protest letter to PETA. Here's what they're saying on various computer tube machines about the Phillies' 3-2 victory over the Rays ... • Arms Hold Down Rays. To go into the Ora...