mlb Page 545 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Madonna, A-Rod Reportedly Now Allowed to Touch Each Other's Private Parts Without Consequence
Well, this was inevitable. Now that she's officially divorcing her husband Guy Ritchie, the news resurfaces that over-striated singer Madonna is once again possibly doinking Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez. (*kazoo sound*) To the celebrity gossip-mongering! Newsday's blog, The Final Score, beg...
Bring Me The Head Of Mr. Met
Imagine taking your kids to Disneyland, and watching in horror as someone runs up and yanks the head off of Donald Duck. Mets fans were traumatized in a similar fashion last night, as Fox News inadvertently broadcast the live decapitation of Mr. Met, who is seen in the background in this clip of pos...
No Hollywood Ending
What they're saying out in the ether about the Phillies' 5-1 win over the Dodgers in Game 5 of the National League Championship Series ... • But At Least I Have A Husband. (2008-10-15 3:40 p.m., PST) I just want to tell you all good luck. We're all counting on you. [Dodger Thoughts] • Farewell, Cond...
The New York Times Helps Matt Stairs Retrieve His Masculinity
Matt Stairs' stay as a Philadelphia's favorite 40-year-old beefy homer-hitting Canuck continues today, with a story about him in today's New York Times that gives America's baseball nation a closer glimpse at the 16-year vet. The whole piece focuses on Stairs' everyman-ness and how he's a "guys' guy...
Tampa Bay Fans; Not Especially Coordinated
So what are the odds that the only person wearing a Rays jersey in the Monster seats at Fenway would end up catching Evan Longoria's home run ball in the third inning on Monday? Here's Michael Aguis, shown here trying to, I don't know, punch the ball? Anyway he ended up with it after his even goofie...
NLCS Game Four Live Blog: Phillies Vs. Dodgers
The Dodgers want to even up this series at 2-2. Strangely, the Phillies don't agree with them on that issue. It remains to be seen if the Phillies will stay unbeaten in Deadspin live blogs, or if Tim McCarver will fall asleep sometime during the sixth inning. Derek "Derrick" Lowe will pitch against ...
Evan Longoria's Not Making a Lot of Amigos at ESPNDeportes
Nice catch by Shysterball, about a minor controversy from Evan Longoria's Eva Longoria-filled interview with Big League Stew's Dave Brown earlier this month. It stemmed from this question, where Brown pithily asked who on the team should not sport a Rayhawk: ...
Baseball Coverage Takes An Ugly, Off-Key Turn
Some of you will be enjoying Game 3 of the NLCS. But if there's another episode of this going on, they may outlaw baseball in this country for good. For some reason, the TBS crew thought this was a good idea. Now I can understand some of these other hooligans taking part in this sort of thing, but ...
Two Aces Prove Their Worth
• Rays 9, Red Sox 8 With the two teams' respective aces taking the mound, you just knew it was going to be a swift affair - barely enough time to finish a six-pack - that would be decided by whichever team blinked first and allowed the one and only run to cross the plate. Just kidding. The game las...
Tampa Bay Rays Still Have A Bit Of Youthful Arrogance
So much for the idea that these young Rays are made up of honest-to-goodness, hardworking, gritty players just happy to be included in the postseason festivities for the first time; they got some swagger in them. The above t-shirt isn't some fly-by-night homemade operation either, it's an MLB-sanct...
MLB Closer: Brett Myers Is Your New Bicycle, Dice-K Baffles
• Phillies 8, Dodgers 5 Taking the advice of his marriage counseler, Brett Myers decided to get rid of his aggression on the field by making the Doyers his bitch. Myers pitched well enough to win, but did the real damage with his bat, to the tune of a 3-for-3 night with 3 RBIs. The wife can rest ea...
Jose Canseco Busted For Illicit Gonad Treatments
In a stunning turn of events that you could not possibly have seen coming, 40-40 man and all-around mensch Jose Canseco was recently detained at the U.S.-Mexico border for ... do we even need say it? Yes, Jose will appear in federal court next week to answer charges of illegal steroid possession. Bu...
The Summer That Didn't Quite Last Forever
Walter E. Smithe is a Chicago furniture store whose management figured that they'd cash in big when the Cubs finally broke 100 years of frustration with a World Series championship. So sure were they that this was the year, actually, that they produced a commercial, complete with former Cubs greats ...
The Magic Of Prom Night, And Of Being 1-0 In The NLCS
Above we see Anna Li and Cody Yoka on the day of their Senior Prom back in May, and what a magical evening it must have been. It's every young lady's dream to attend prom in a gown dedicated to their favorite baseball team, especially if one attends an all-girls Catholic school, as does Miss Li. (No...
Say It Ain't So, Joe
Joe Biden knows as well as anyone that just one slipup on the campaign trail can turn the tide of an election. And that may have been what happened in at a stump stop in Tampa, as Biden's gaffe involving the Tampa Bay Rays sent shock waves throughout the state of Florida, and I daresay, the nation. ...
Mocking The Cubs: America's Fun New Sport
Some may say that the rest of America is piling on the Chicago Cubs and their fans; making too much sport of their misery. But is not our gentle mocking really a welcome distraction from all of the really serious problems in the world? I say that the Cubs are actually keeping this country sane. Witn...
Revenge Is A Dish Best Served On The Front Lawn
This is how they settle disputes between rival baseball fans on the mean streets of Chicago, yo. A White Sox fan, who had been mocked all season by a Cubs fan, got ultimate revenge when the Cubs were rudely ousted from the playoffs by the Dodgers. The best part I believe is the fact that this prank ...
Uh Oh. This Can't Be Good
Unless a T-shirt surfaces linking John McCain with the Milwaukee Brewers, Barack Obama should consider his campaign in deep do-do. This is not meant to be ironic, by the way: Home Run Derby found this shirt back in August, when Cubs' and Obama fans alike shared the audacity of hope. Now there seems ...
ALDS Game 4: Angels Vs. Red Sox
If the Angels lose, they go home. If the Angels win, they ... go home. If they tie, you will never sleep tonight. Those are your options. The pitchers pitching are Jon Lester and John Lackey. The announcers announcing are Chip Caray and Buck Martinez. The jumpers jumping are everybody except you ......
'Shrine To Futility' Growing Outside Of Wrigley Field
As we chronicled this morning, Cubs fans passed through the anger phase of their playoff mourning ritual, and are now seemingly on to acceptance. A solemn 'Shrine of Futility' outside of Wrigley Field has been growing by the hour, as Cubs fans leave notes and artifacts lamenting their team's failure...