mlb Page 557 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Meet The Stripper Who Saved The Red Sox
Alex Rodriguez's various alleged dalliances with females of the non-wife persuasion may have cost the Yankees more than anyone thought. Did ex-stripper Candice Houlihan break the Boston jinx and hand the Red Sox their World Series championship in 2004? Houlihan claims that a two-night stand with Rod...
Why, Red Sox Nation? Why?
What do you do if you're a group of Red Sox fans who spot a car stopped in traffic that happens to have New York Yankees license plates? (Keep in mind that there are at least two children in the car). Answer: You surround the vehicle, vandalize it, and then beat the driver with a baseball bat. That ...
Pester Ozzie Guillen Enough On E-mail And He Will Respond Accordingly
White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen's verbal attacks on reporters, general managers, players, fans, and blow-up dolls are somewhat disturbing, if not highly entertaining for those of us who don't have to deal with them directly. But did you know you too can be eviscerated by Ozzie if you type with the a...
Aaron Rowand Is The Illusionist
Well, the All-Star rosters are complete, except for one spot on each team. Internet voting to determine those last two spots ends on Thursday at 2 p.m. PST, and Aaron Rowand of the San Francisco Giants would like your vote. Following the jump you will find his campaign video. The action is from Frid...
Examining The Balance Of Power In The AL East
I've been in a meat coma since The Fourth, and have only just seen this great moment from Friday's Yankees-Red Sox game. A couple of questions here, of course: What if the ball had stayed perched atop the fence, instead of falling back onto the field of play as it did? And what's the ruling if, say,...
C.C. Sabathia On His Way To Milwaukee
Or so says everyone from Cleveland, to Milwaukee, to Buster Olneyville. The Cleveland Indians, who at the beginning of the season thought they'd be able to compete, have officially moved white-flagged it by shuttling their number one starter with the crooked cap to the Milwaukee Brewers for power-ba...
How Will Yankees Fans Greet A-Rod Tonight?
Thank God for the Yankees that their next series with Boston is in New York. With a separation from wife Cynthia and rumors of canoodling with Madonna thicker than Newman's Own Thousand Island dressing, Alex Rodriguez must have more on his mind than Jonathan Papelbon. But how will his own fans greet...
Joe Buck Is Just No Longer Enthused About America's Pastime
Joe "Balls Deep" Buck is one of the most highly respected and high-profile sports announcers working today and, according to one plucky Midwesterner we all know, is also a true gentlemen when introduced to raisin-filled sports bloggers. Buck's voice is always a welcome addition, especially to baseba...
Chris Snyder Would Not Like To Be A Member Of This Club
There seems to be an overabundance of sports-related testicle injuries over the past three months. First it was Felix Pie's "twisted testicle", then Flyers' winger Patrick Thoresen's severe testicle bruising and, now, most horrifying of them all, Arizona Diamondbacks' catcher Chris Snyder's "f...
There's Nothing More Annoying Than A Rays Fan With A Cowbell
OK, first of all, Cowbell Kid may seem pretty impressive when he's among his own in Tropicana Field, but I'd like to see him tearing down banners and clanging his bell at Fenway ... or Yankee Stadium, for that matter. Can Cowbell Kid win on the road? That's the question. As for the Rays, they've ans...
Pennsylvania's Lehigh Valley: Where Wife-Punching Pitchers Go To Die
Phillies opening day starter Brett Myers, has thrown his last high fastball up in the zone at the major league level for a little while. The Phillies, fed up with his putridity, have decided to send Myers down to the minors, in a last ditch effort to salvage his once formidable arm....
The Tampa Bay Rays' Remarkable Success Gives Hope To Crappy Teams Everywhere
It's true: The Tampa Bay Rays' fans are actually acting like their team is in first place. With last night's non-violent victory over the Red Sox, the fervor will become even more intense if the Rays take this series....
Rays, Red Sox Let Us All Down, Fail To Brawl
So what happened to Jonathan Papelbon's prediction of fisticuffs and other mayhem when the Red Sox returned to Tropicana Field? No brushbacks or punches or obscene gestures ... all we got was some lame identity theft. Rays manager Joe Maddon spent much of Monday trying to cancel his debiit card, whi...
We Who Are About To Die Salute You
The Cubs really don't have a reasonable explanation as to why they suck so relatively badly on the road. The White Sox beat the Cubs 5-1 on Sunday to complete a three-game sweep, the North side's eighth loss in the past 12 games. And here we see Mr. Kerry Wood trying to explain it, as you probably s...
Windy City Teams On Verge Of Trading Sweeps; Kerry Wood Not Pleased
Despite getting the catchy nickname of "One of the most consistent hitters in the game" by teammate Matt Murton, Aramis Ramirez failed to take advantage of a lead-off double in the 9th by Derrek Lee. With one out and Lee on third, Bobby Jenks forced the Cubbie into grounding out weakly to short when...
Sir Sidney Gives Up No Runs; Probably Ate Them All
Sidney Ponson made his unceremonious (only to Ponson, as ceremonious occasions usually have bacon gravy) return to the Yankees in the second half of a two-ballpark doubleheader yesterday with the cross-Gotham Mets. And he laid into them like they were an Aruban judge, tossing six shutout innings in ...
Shawn Chacon Is Now Looking For Work
Time is running out to claim Shawn Chacon on waivers! Act now, and you will receive one slightly used Major League pitcher, ERA just above 5.00, with a tendency to throttle when perturbed. Buy it now price: $2 million. Chacon was put on waivers Thursday by the Houston Astros, one day after and unfor...
Look At Those Crazy Rays, And The Dead Fish
• Battered Fish. A 10-run inning? Wha? The Battle of Florida is not going well for the Marlins, as Tampa Bay enjoyed a 10-run, 14-batter, 32-minute fifth inning on its way to a 15-3 win. Carl Crawford had two homers and five RBI. Believe it or not, it wasn't a franchise record for the Rays, who once...
Much Excitement In The Area Where The Allegheny And Monongahela Converge To Form The Ohio River
Wouldn't it be ironic — in a fun, cosmic sort of way — if the turning point for the Pittsburgh Pirates' franchise came on Tuesday night? It was the first time since 1960 that the New York Yankees had played in Pittsburgh, when, as you surely recall, Bill Mazeroski won Game 7 of the World Series with...
Behold The Awesome Offensive Power Of American League Pitchers
Ha! Take that Hank Steinbrenner, you big dolt. Pitchers shouldn't hit? Felix Hernandez hit the first grand slam by an American League pitcher in 37 years, leading the Mariners over the Mets 5-2 on Monday night. Hernandez did get hurt; but not running the bases, as Steinbrenner imagines in his sweaty...