Zlatan Ibrahimović scored what might have been the greatest goal of his life last Saturday in the L.A. Galaxy’s game against Toronto FC. Somehow, that goal—the 500th of his career—might not have been the most ruthless thing he did that day.
In their ninth MLS season, the Philadelphia Union finally (finally) have a mascot. It seems like mere days ago he was a giant egg at the Philadelphia Zoo, which at least indicated that he was not a mammal, or was at least a monotreme. Today, we all got the big news:
David Beckham’s Mosaic trek through the American sports grifter desert as he seeks to realize his MLS team ownership dream has come another step closer to reality. We now know what to call this allegedly imminent franchise, and it’s a name as nauseatingly cosplayish as we’ve come to expect:
After playing professional soccer for 15 years, Clint Dempsey—celebrated striker and guy who broke John Terry’s face—is retiring at age 35 from both the Seattle Sounders and the United States national team. The Sounders posted a statement detailing Dempsey’s long and successful career; Deuce, characteristically, kept…
Atleticó Madrid pulled off an upset on Wednesday in taking down crosstown rival Real Madrid 4-2 to bring home the UEFA Super Cup. After the game, Atleticó’s star forward Antoine Griezmann dropped some fire quotes, as he tends to do during post-game celebrations.
There was a lot to like in D.C. United’s 4-1 win over the Portland Timbers Wednesday night, namely the continued resurgence of old man Wayne Rooney, who scored two goals, including one extremely sweet free kick. The best highlight of the night, though, came from this deadly accurate ball boy.
Old man and Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney was supposed to be irreversibly washed. He still largely is—hence why he’s in MLS to begin with—but, still, he’s definitely been making the most out of his American sabbatical. He’s already mashed his face into bits and notched one of his career-best highlights, on…
Columbus Crew SC, in conjunction with MLS czar Don Garber, has crossed one of the final checkpoints in their plan to move the team to Austin as early as next season. The Austin City Council passed a vote on Wednesday, seven to four, to pave the way for the building of a soccer-specific stadium onto city-owned land in…
Big Daddy Kane might not have thought pimping was easy, but back when he wrote that song he hadn’t seen how simple it was for the Columbus Crew’s grease-palmed owner Anthony Precourt to merely raise a hand menacingly at his current john—the city of Columbus—while also whispering of his service’s illicit physical…
D.C. United sent their keeper up for a corner kick with a minute left in stoppage time of a tied game. It backfired, spectacularly. Then it didn’t, spectacularly, and it was all thanks to good ol’ Wayne Rooney.
Wayne Rooney scored his first MLS goal Saturday night, in his fourth match with DC United. The goal came in the 33rd minute of United’s match at home against Colorado—after the ball sort of chaotically pinged around in the midfield, United triggered a quick attacking move and Rooney finished it off by going between…
Upstart Los Angeles Football Club and the Los Angeles Galaxy played their second-ever derby on Thursday night. The first match was an all-time classic, featuring a three-goal, second-half Galaxy comeback capped off by two Zlatan Ibrahimović goals, the first perhaps the best MLS goal to date, to give his squad the 4-3…
Bayern Munich have completed a deal today with the Vancouver Whitecaps for the MLS team’s 17-year-old winger, Alphonso Davies, effective at the January transfer window after he turns 18. The German giants will pay $13 million for Davies up front, with various bonuses kicking in if the young Canadian international…
LAFC striker Adama Diomande wrote in an Instagram post that an opponent on the Portland Timbers called him “the ‘N’ word” during his team’s U.S. Open Cup match on Wednesday. Diomande came on in the second half as a substitute in his team’s 3-2 win, and while he exchanged a few words with Timbers players towards the…
D.C. United celebrated the opening of their new stadium last Saturday. Fans were treated to 32 minutes of Wayne Rooney, protests from disgruntled supporter groups, and a series of railings breaking and falling all over the place. D.C. United communications VP and sideline reporter Lindsay Simpson was apparently hit in…
It’s been more than a year since we last checked in on David Beckham’s futile attempts to build a Major League Soccer stadium in Miami, to host an expansion MLS side. Back then, in May of 2017, Beckham and his fellow investors were on their fourth stadium site, in Overtown, after proposals for Dodge Island, Museum…
Minnesota United midfielder Collin Martin became the only active openly gay man in American sports on Friday, coming out publicly with a message on Twitter and a very cool photo ahead of his team’s Pride Night game.
Here are the L.A. Galaxy, historically MLS’s premier outfit, the team that currently employs the league’s most high-profile player in Zlatan Ibrahimović, boasts the second-highest total salary expenditure this season, and is currently spending more money on defenders than anyone else in MLS, in Monday’s match trying…
