mo Page 689 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Todd Tichenor Got His Money's Worth Last Night
Umpire Todd Tichenor made history (maybe? probably not) when he ejected four people in one inning of the Red Sox-Twins game last night. Hey, when you're a temporarily fill-in just called up from the minors, you've got to take your shots when you can get them....

Aw, Man...That's My Dad
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

A Sad Day For ... Uh, Tennis?
Well-proportioned Romanian phenom Simona Halep is reportedly planning breast-reduction surgery, because her superhuman chest somehow doesn't help her play tennis. Or is she?...

Your Wealth, Now In Wayne Chrebet's Bare Hands
SUBJECT: Wayne Chrebet: FROM: [redacted]@citi.com. "Saw this yesterday, only my firm would hire an ex nfl player who retired because of too many concussions. IMAGINE THE FINANCIAL ADVICE HE COULD GIVE! Please do not attach my name to this, I'd get fired." [Bloomberg]...

And Now A Nice Photo Of A Man Getting Kicked In The Face
No, it's not Champions League, but it is a good way to show off the WSJ's outstanding "Sports Snapshot" photo blog-a-majig. Amazingly, the man getting kicked in the head is Houston Dynamo forward Brian Ching who used that very same dented dome to score a goal later in the game....

Uh Oh, Cleveland
No one is saying the city of Cleveland should be panicking right now, but it does seem like hoarding canned goods and putting your life savings into mason jars would not be the worst idea in the world. All is ... not well....

Tim Tebow Turns Away Hotter Stuff Than You Can Dream Of
Percy Harvin, presented without comment: "If I could trade places for a day with anyone: Tim Tebow....We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, "Tebow, I want you." And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, "Man, you are crazy." [Pioneer Press]...

Carlos Marmol Leaves Team To Be With Wife (Not Pictured: His Wife)
Cub reliever Carlos Marmol is taking a leave of absence from his day job to fly to New York, as his wife is scheduled to give birth there this week. So then who was the very non-pregnant "female companion" he was snuggling with two weeks ago?...

The Sports Fella's Dream Is Dead
Minnesota picks ex-Pacers GM David Kahn to run their basketball operations. "I promise that nobody will outwork or outthink us as we build one of the best front offices in the league and a team that begins a climb to the top." They should put that on a plaque. [NBA.com]...

This Guy Has Nothing On Clay Zavada
The world's most moustachioed flocked to Anchorage this weekend for the World Beard and Moustache Championship. Unfortunately, the winners forever will have asterisks next to their busts in Alaska, as Clay Zavada was in Oakland, whisker-twinged NHL players are busy and Sarah Palin couldn't make it. ...

Many Trees Died In The Making Of Simmons' Next Tome
Have you ever thought, Man, I really want to read a 720-page hardcover about basketball by the Sports Fella? Then today — or October 27, 2009 — is your lucky day. [Leitch]...

A Carnivore's Guide To Yankee Stadium
The new Yankee Stadium may be a colossal disaster — Peter Gammons is the ballpark's latest critic — but the food is positively delectable. How one fan copped a $325 Legends Suite ticket and swindled the Yankees of $127 in concessions. The Yankees were just happy someone was there. [Time]...

Patriots Team Up With State Lotto; NFL Conveniently Forgets That It Pretends To Hate Gambling
Remember the NFL's feigned outrage over sports gambling in Delaware? All that sanctimonious stuff about tarnishing the game's image and leading children to degenerate lives of laying the points with the Pats on the road? Well, apparently none of that applies to state-run lotteries....

Little Girl Lost In A Cup Of Beer At The Lakers Game
We're winding down...so prepare for more crap like this at the end of the day. [SteadyBurn]...

The One With The Story About The NBA-TV Lady's High School Days
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

La La Vazquez Says Dallas Fans Have Racist Family Values
So the Dallas-Denver brouhaha is not going away. La La Vazquez is still talking about her long night in Big D, only the language is getting much more colorful. She says fans were throwing around words like "bastard" and "fuck" and that one that even I won't spell without asterisks....

Wife Of Pitcher Scott Schoeneweis Found Dead
Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis, the wife of Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Scott Schoeneweis, was found unconscious in the family's home today and sheriff's deputies were unable to revive her when they arrived. No cause of death has been determined yet. She was 39. Terrible news. [Arizona Republic]...

Never Try To Steal A Car From Najeh Davenport
If you see a car parked on the street with the engine running, you'd probably be tempted to jump in and take a ride. Just make sure it doesn't belong to Najeh Davenport, because he will chase your ass down....

In Canada It's Pronounced 'Coonty'
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Joe Theismann Can't Talk About MNF Without Sounding Bitter
"I don't think Tony was ever really comfortable in a role. I know the time that I spent with him, he really didn't want to do football. "[Fang's Bites]...