mutton Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Spend The Weekend With Gourmet Spud
Yes, fans, the photo above is the mysterious Gourmet Spud of the brilliant Food Court Lunch. A helpful tipster spotted him in the canned goods aisle at a WalMart near Banff. He was buying 40 cans of Kirkland salmon....

SEIUbermetrics
"In a comparison between [MLB] teams with home stadiums that use Aramark and teams with home stadiums that do not, Workers United found that non-Aramark teams' average luck is .40 and Aramark teams' average luck is -1.93." [Workers United]...

Smokin' Jay: Cutler Sure Does Clean Up Nicely
Judging by this month's Michigan Avenue Magazine, the new Bears quarterback wants to mount a serious challenge to Matt Ryan as the best-looking ball-slinger in the NFL. What else is he saying with these hot new looks?...

The Adventures Of Blazer Girl In Bristol
Blazer Girl recently toured ESPN's Bristol compound as part of the network's 30th anniversary celebration. She encountered several strange and frightening plastic creatures. She also encountered the decoy coyotes. Her photos and a full report....

Every Poll Has Its Thorns
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Blazer Girl In The Land Of The Plastic Coyote
These are the notorious decoy coyotes of ESPN, propped up by The Worldwide Leader In Bird Control to scare off nesting geese and captured here in terrifying synthetic predation, like Steve Phillips in those fake press conferences....

Lock Up Your Bike Racks: Deadspin Goes To Bristol
Although other overtures were made before, there's never been a better opportunity to touch the sun than this one: an invitation to participate in some of ESPN's 30-year anniversary activities....

And Now A Look At The Actual Brett Favre Goat Tied Up In The Lady's Trunk
Finally, you can put your photoshopping skills to rest — the comically cruel Brett Favre goat video has been released to the local news. Yes, the goat, although tied down, is still alive in these photos. [WCCO]...

Goats Are The New Mutton
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....

Mets Third Base Coach Does Not Like My Pants And Will Not Eat My Poop Sandwich (UPDATE)
One man who's managed to keep his sunny disposition during the Mets season from hell is smooth-talking third base coach Razor Shines. Now you can ask him yes/no questions in this virtual ad and he'll answer them. All of them....

Pig Rodeo Rides Home The Bacon
Do you like mutton bustin', but wish it had less adorableness and more frightened squealing? Then maybe the Japanese pig rodeo is more your speed....

Man Asserts Dominion Over Nature, Hits Horse With Rally Car
Here's a photo of an Argentine rally driver running into a herd of wild horses somewhere in the Patagonian hills. One of them had to be put down. This is basically a metaphor for the industrial revolution....

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Apologies for taking the Lord's name in vain in the headline, readers, but this is some serious backchannel craziness the Eagles just pulled off. With all the possible destinations for Michael Vick, even in the strictly hypothetical, UFL sense.......

All The Mutton, None Of The Bustin'
Brainstorm! What if, instead of having scared little children try to ride sheep, we strapped stuffed animals to their backs and made the fuzzy little guys race? Leave it to the Irish to take mutton sports to the next level....

Josh Hamilton's Re-Redemption Begins After The Vituperative E-mails End (Update)
Josh Hamilton's photo-documented backslide onto a bar-top covered in whip cream while being groped by strange women was potentially disastrous, but he responded with a shockingly disarming press conference. But Hamilton's fans (Hambone Heads) went predictably berserk on us anyway....

The Tao Of Mutton Bustin'
12-year-old Trysta espouses her wisdom: "I just tried to hold on to the sheep like it was a pillow."(Photo by Chris Dunker)[The Beatrice Daily Sun]...

This Is A Future NFL Linebacker
How did Bengals tight end Chase Coffman develop his "legendary" toughness? You guessed it ... mutton bustin'. [Bengals.com; pic via]...

Whither Mutton Bustin'? How the Culture of Self-Esteem Is Ruining An American Tradition
We can all agree that Mutton Bustin' is a good thing. But are liberal parents threatening the sanctity of this fundamentally American rite of passage? Yes. They are....

The Patriotism Of "Mutton-Bustin'": The Young Men In The Arena Clinging Bravely To Our Last Chance At Global Competitiveness
Long before they became known as beacons of transgender pride and abortion on demand the great Republican Teddy Roosevelt observed the nation's cities to be poor places to raise children, because "most good games are against the law."...