napoli Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Andrew Luck Means
Given the circumstances, it’s remarkable Andrew Luck wasn’t playing for the Detroit Lions. The Colts franchise QB is retiring less than two weeks before the NFL season is slated to begin. There’s already a host of people, namely idiot Colts fans, ready to castigate Luck for his timing, but Luck is h...
Report: Holy Shit! Andrew Luck Is Retiring!
ESPN is reporting that Andrew Luck just up and retired tonight. The season is just two weeks away! The Colts were playing a preseason game when the news broke!...
Larry Bird Complains After Artist’s Mural Makes Him Seem Too Interesting
Artist Jules Muck recently painted a mural of Larry Bird in the Fountain Square section of Indianapolis, which features the image of Bird in his Indiana State jersey doing the “Shh!” gesture, similar to the Nov. 28, 1977 cover of Sports Illustrated. This time, though, Bird is doing the shushing inst...
Andrew Luck's "Small Little Bone" Injury Is Apparently On The Move
The saga of Andrew Luck’s strained calf has reached the point where it’s time to worry whether anyone knows just what the hell is going on. Colts owner Jim Irsay identified a “small little bone” in Luck’s left leg as the source of the quarterback’s ongoing pain and discomfort, which leads to all sor...
Jim Irsay Reveals That Andrew Luck Is Suffering From An Issue With His "Small Little Bone"
In an unwelcome throwback to offseasons past, Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has been largely absent from most team offseason practices and workouts as he has dealt with a lingering injury. This time, the problem is not his chronically borked throwing shoulder, but rather a left calf str...
The Colts Are Afraid Of Andrew Luck's Leg Pulling A Kevin Durant
Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has already been through several circles of injury hell, and lost roughly a jillion years of his career to a devastating shoulder injury. Right now he’s recovering from a little old calf injury suffered during the spring, but after joining the rest of the world in watch...
QBs Are Getting More Expensive. Here's How NFL Teams Can Pay Them And Still Win.
Quarterback is the one NFL position that has seen consistent, top-of-the-market contract growth in recent years. This offseason, Russell Wilson and Ben Roethlisberger pushed that to new heights, with respective deals from the Seahawks and Steelers that average $35 million and $34 million in annual v...
Report: Colts Assistant's Home Shot Dozens Of Times By Eight Unknown Gunmen
Here’s a weird and frightening offseason NFL story: The unoccupied home of Indianapolis Colts assistant Parks Frazier was reportedly shot dozens of times by a group of as many as eight unknown gunmen, according to a story from RTV6 in Indianapolis....
Pay-To-Play Is The Stadium Grift That Keeps On Giving
Sometime in the next few days, Indiana Gov. Eric Holcomb—aka the guy who took Mike Pence’s job when Pence ascended to the Old Executive Office Building—is expected to sign a bill extending the Indiana Pacers’ lease in Indianapolis through 2044. In exchange for agreeing to have his team play where it...
Jim Irsay Moves Goalposts On "G.O.A.T." Debate In A Way That Conveniently Discounts The Patriots' Accomplishments
Despite the recent success of a New England-based franchise, there are plenty of people who will still argue over which NFL team is the greatest of all time. Is it the Cowboys from the ‘90s, or the Joe Montana-led 49ers of the ‘80s? Are the Patriots better in their current form, or was their team fr...
The Colts Scored A Touchdown Before Getting A First Down
The Chiefs are manhandling the Colts on both sides of the ball right now, but the game is still faintly in reach thanks to this blocked punt by Najee Goode and end-zone recovery by Zach Pascal....
The Colts' Rookies Blocked The Texans' Stars Straight Into Hell
Jadeveon Clowney is one of the most talented athletes in all of American sports. Here’s Colts rookie guard Quenton Nelson stopping him cold and then backing him up two full yards before tossing him to the ground: ...
What The Hell Is Jim Irsay Saying Here?
Here’s my best attempt at transcribing the speech that maniacal Colts owner Jim Irsay gave after his team’s wild-card win over the Texans:...
The Houston Texans Are Pure Frauds, No Matter Who's Playing Quarterback
Two interminable streaks were on the line today in Houston: the Texans’ unbroken history of playoff humiliations, and Deshaun Watson not having lost a game by more than one score since high school. The fragrance of ass that exudes from the Texans and Bill O’Brien was more powerful by far, as the Col...
ESPN Doesn't Appear To Know What Happened During The Civil War
In the latest example of why things from the internet should stay on the internet, the Monday Night Football crew decided to talk about their latest online discovery: the Capt. Andrew Luck twitter account. For those unfamiliar, the parody account features an avatar of Luck’s face over a Civil War ge...
This Is The Only Way The Texans Can Stop The Colts From Scoring
The Colts have a 21-0 lead and a ridiculous 20 first downs at halftime against the Texans, and it would likely be 35-0 if not for two plays. ...
Report: Oh Dear God, The Titans Need Blaine Gabbert To Lead Them To The Playoffs
Here’s a report from ESPN’s Chris Mortensen that threatens to suck all the juice out of tonight’s matchup between the Colts and the Titans, the winner of which will advance to the playoffs while the loser goes home to cry. According to Mortensen, Titans starting quarterback Marcus Mariota is unlikel...
Please Stop Using Baseball To Describe Football
A home run has never happened in a football game, and yet home runs can be found all over writing about the sport, mainly when it comes to transactions. A new coach is a “home-run hire.” Wow! A team “hit a home run” with its draft picks. Okay!...
Inter Forced To Play Two Matches In Closed Stadium For Having Racist Shithead Fans
This year, Italy’s Serie A adopted the English tradition of holding matches on the day after Christmas, known as Boxing Day, in hopes of showing off its domestic product to the widest possible set of eyeballs. Of course, as the hopefully embarrassed country came to realize, showing off the glories o...
Ass Team Of The Week: The Indianapolis Colts Went Down Like A Bunch Of Chumps
Here are the circumstances under which it is acceptable to lose 6-0 to the Jacksonville Jaguars: The game takes place in 2017 and there is also a foot of snow on the ground. Neither of those applied on Sunday when the Indianapolis Colts, led by a resurgent Andrew Luck and the best offensive line in...