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Kurt Busch Goes Nuts, Gets Parked After Driving Away From Safety Crew Trying To Attend To Him
The always-exciting adventures of Kurt Busch continued today at Talladega as his involvement in the Good Sam Roadside Assistance 500 came to an early end after getting parked by NASCAR for driving away from safety personnel then refusing to stop after being so ordered....

"Team Obama Loses Early Wicket": The Romney-Obama Debate Was Like Every Sport Conceivable, According To Internet
The debate Wednesday could be compared to many things—a slow dance in which the partners are holding potato peelers to each other's throats, perhaps, or a restaurant in which you, the diner, get to watch a prep cook slow-spit on your burger before it's served—but of course everyone immediately turne...

Tony Stewart Trades Paint With Matt Kenseth, Gets Knocked Out, Hurls Helmet At Kenseth, Doesn't Give A Crap
Tony Stewart showed flashes of the personality that earned him the nickname "Smoke" tonight in the IRWIN Tools Night Race at Bristol when, after taking the lead from Matt Kenseth in the 332nd lap only to scape doors and find himself wrecked in the 333rd, let Kenseth know just how much he loved him...

"When I Get A Clear Shot...": 25 Years Ago, Dale Earnhardt Received This Death Threat For His Ornery Driving
On May 17, 1987, Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Bill Elliott swapped paint and made a place for themselves in NASCAR lore. The Winston, a newly created all-star race at Charlotte Motor Speedway, came down to a sprint, with Earnhardt and Elliott jockeying for the lead. After bumping and nudging for two laps,...

Mark Martin Is Lucky He's Not Dead After Crash In Michigan Today
Mark Martin is 53 and only races part time these days. Today being one of those days, Martin was leading on lap 64 of the Pure Michigan 400 when things quickly turned south....

Somebody Threw A Shoe At Danica Patrick's Car And Knocked Her Out Of A Race She Was Leading
"Something's fucked up" is all Danica Patrick could muster after leading much of today's NASCAR Nationwide tour race at Montreal then being knocked out by a mechanical issue after running over a shoe thrown onto the track by a spectator....

NASCAR Announcer Cannot Remember His Broadcast Partner's Name
Everything about this is just a mess. ESPN NASCAR announcer Marty Reid has an absolute brain fart on air when introducing his booth-mates before throwing in the towel. He first stumbles when introducing Dale Jarrett (once he remembers his name) and then just gives up on introducing Andy Petree by ...

Kurt Busch Compares A Rough Night On The Track To "Premature Ejaculation"
It wasn't a good night for resident NASCAR idiot Kurt Busch at the Prelude to the Dream, an annual dirt-track charity race that costs $25 on pay-per-view. Busch, who is already suspended from this weekend's race at Pocono Raceway for threatening to beat up a Sporting News reporter last Saturday, ran...

Do Not Ask Kurt Busch About His Probation, Or He Will Threaten To Beat The Shit Out Of You
Resident NASCAR idiot Kurt Busch continued his campaign of jackassery Saturday after the Nationwide Series race at Dover today, verbally attacking a reporter who dared to ask about the probation NASCAR imposed after Busch's May 12 incident with Ryan Newman....

"Douche McGee" Got His (Or Her) Day In The Sun On SPEED
SPEED call-in show WindTunnel with Dave Despain is known for giving strongly-opinionated NASCAR fans a voice, and like many programs it's now featuring tweets from viewers. One such viewer, "Douche McGee," has an issue with the off-the-track drama that's emerged as one of stock car racing's hallm...

There Were Three Stooges At Yesterday's NASCAR Event, And They Were Not Named Dale, Darryl, Or Darrell
From the moment he slipped the fire suit over his frizzed hair, Larry knew his dreams had finally become reality. He'd aspired to pilot the speed machine from the time he was five years old, playing with Matchbox—...

Brian McKnight's Son Ordered To "Get That Shit Off Your Head" Before Singing The National Anthem At Today's NASCAR Event
Brian McKnight & Sons were NASCAR's featured "Star-Spangled Banner" performers before today's race in Phoenix, but a bit of a wardrobe issue led to admonishment by an unseen person....

NASCAR's Cool With Tweeting During Races, Won't Punish Brad Keselowski
That's according to a statement stock-car racing's governing body issued today, which it did in the wake of Keselowski's tweeting spree during last night's fire-delayed Daytona 500:...

Some Men (In The 18-49 Demographic) Just Want To Watch The World Burn
FOX easily won the ratings battle with a rain-delayed, fire-delayed Daytona 500. There's a lesson here, and I'm pretty sure it's "don't underestimate the drawing power of things blowing up."...

Danica's Got To Go, Daddy
Your morning roundup for Feb. 28. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Armageddon At Daytona As Juan Pablo Montoya Hits Jet Engine-Powered Track Dryer And Boom, Explosion
Miraculously, there were no injuries after a bizarre incident on the 160th lap of the much-delayed Daytona 500 in which Colombian driver Juan Pablo Montoya's car fell apart at just the wrong moment: as he approached a track-drying truck, complete with jet fuel-powered turbine in the back....

NASCAR Drivers Spent Yesterday's Daytona 500 Rain Delay Mentioning Their Sponsors As Much As Possible
This will surprise absolutely nobody familiar with the constant shilling for products and sponsors that takes place before, during, and after NASCAR races, but when slapped together back-to-back it's worth realizing that yesterday's eventual postponement of the Daytona 500 wasn't a lost cause for...
![Daytona 500 Open Thread [Postponed]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17epgnlnrgb2ajpg.jpg)
Daytona 500 Open Thread [Postponed]
Here is an open thread for all you adrenaline/high speed wreckage junkies. Feel free to use the comments to talk about other stuff while the race is on in the background....

Mishaps In Online Advertising: The Danica Patrick Edition
Welcome back to Mishaps in Online Advertising. Today, thanks many of you readers, we have Danica Patrick spinning out of control. Fortunately for her, she's got that $500 vanishing deductible. Someone is on her side....

Fox San Diego Sports Anchor Implies Danica Patrick Is A Bitch
Ross Shimabuku, Fox 5 San Diego's current sports anchor could teach a master class in subtlety. Of course, no one would know a thing about what "subtlety" means, but the arts are a dying skill anyway....