nba-closer Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Invasion Of The LeBron Snatchers!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who could be replaced by an alien doppelganger any day now. It's been nice knowing you. When he's not trying to organize an underground resistance, he can be found practicing his "Nanu Nanu" at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Kobe, Pretentious Lakers Fans Celebrate A Lifetime Of Achievement
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is about to take you to another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into the wondrous land of the NBA. Next stop, the Basketbawful zone. Enjoy!...
Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be fo...
Pistons, 19th Century Technology Defeat Magic
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's interested to see how the Celtics plan to stop LeBron tonight. (He suggests napalm and well-trained attack dogs.) When he's not making violent anti-LeBron plans, he can be found relieving his NBA bladder at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Congratulatory Hugs Aren't What They Used To Be
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Pistonmania Is Running Wild On The Magic!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Hornets Tell It Like It Is, Spurs Fall to Pieces
I immediately regret that headline. Anyway, New Orleans opened their series against San Antonio in style with an ass kicking of impressive proportions. The Spurs held a four point lead after the first quarter, but once the mascot lit the floor on fire the Hornets outscored the visitors by 23. Tim D...
He Who Laughs Last, Moves On...
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who forgot to write a new introductory paragraph yesterday and feels like a douche about it. When he's not refreshing female genitalia, he can be found taking a siesta at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Who knew Darius Songaila was so important? After the Cleveland Ca...
Deep 76'ed
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is mourning the Suns today. When he's not being bummed out, you can find him hating the Spurs at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The dream be dead. What can I say? The Philadelphia 76ers defied expectations by making it to the playoffs and then shocked the basketb...
King Assassinated By The Butler
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's glad things are going back to D.C. When he's searching the Internets for "The Butler Did It" t-shirts, he can be found growing a DeSwhawn Stevenson beard at Basketbawful. Enjoy! LeBron is no Kyra Sedgwick. Sorry. TNT has officially gotten to me. Anywa...
It's Deja Vu In The NBA Playoffs
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is mourning the Suns today. When he's not being bummed out, you can find him hating the Spurs at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Big Surprises In Denver! (But Not Really)
The NBA Closer is written by Kyra Sedgwick ... I mean, Matt McHale, would be pretty happy to see more basketball and fewer promos from TNT, thank you very much. When he's hating on TNT's internal marketing campaign, he can be found skipping to his lou at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
You'll Never Believe What Happened Yesterday (Actually, You Probably Will)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, would like the springtime weather to actually reach Chicago. It can happen any time now. When he's not ruing unseasonably low temperatures in the midwest, he can be found trying to warm his hands at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The Maverick meltdown: Will it ever e...
Welcome To Quitsville, Population: 12
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is becoming increasingly grumpy as the playoffs continue. When he's ruing losses by his favorite teams and wins by the teams he hates, he can be found sulking at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The Nuggets have officially become the French army. They meekly surren...
Break Out The Head Paint: Sixers Win <i>Again</i>!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would be getting more sleep this weekend if the destruction of the Suns wasn't keeping him up at night. When he's not hating the absolute living hell out of the Spurs, he can be found stabbing his Tony Parker voodoo doll at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Wait...w...
NBA Playoff Underdogs Strike Back!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was glad to see that Pat Riley's 20/20 Rule was in full effect for the Cavs-Wizards game. When he's not drawing attention to these obscure coaching references, he can be found filing his nails at Basketbawful. Enjoy! This is all Tracy McGrady's fault. A...
Don't Make Them Angry. You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angry
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait for the new Hulk movie and thinks Edward Nortan is the perfect heir to Bill Bixby. When he's not watching NBA officials river dance, he can be found admiring Roger Mason's superhuman strength at Basketbawful. Enjoy! They're finally awake now....
Youth Prevails! (Except In San Antonio)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of last night scribbling CP3-4-Me all over his Trapper Keeper. When he's not man-loving on Chris Paul, he can be found practicing his Duncan face at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The doctor is most definitely in. Chris Paul may not have graduated from...
Alas, Poor T-Mac...I Knew Him, Horatio!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who will never, ever forget McGrady's greatness in defeat. He's kind of like a 21st century Dominique Wilkins, if 'Nique had never made it out of the first round. When he's not praising T-Mac, he's probably making fun of him at Basketbawful. Enjoy! He was t...
Pistons Eat Jerseys, Choke On Game
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's in bed smoking a cigarette after a fulfilling weekend of playoff action. When he's not replaying the events over and over in his head, you can find him basking in the afterglow at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Memo to the Pistons: You might wanna take these gu...