nba Page 653 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...

Derek Jeter, Josh Hamilton, The Dodgers And Cliff Lee All Had Shining Moments Yesterday
Your morning roundup for July 10, the day it pays to be wary of people with wide faces....

Concussed Cyclist Doesn't Remember Finishing Yesterday's Stage Of The Tour De France
Your morning roundup for July 9, the day Detroit teaches us to respect the crackheads who walk among us....

Tony Parker: "Lockout? Wheeee!"
If summer vacation could last forever, Tony Parker would never come down. [via TBJ]...

Shaq Announces Yao Ming's Retirement On Twitter
Yahoo! reports that Yao Ming is retiring after nine seasons with the Houston Rockets. Shaq, as he tends to do, confirmed the report on Twitter and then suggested that they go on vacation together. [Yahoo!, @Shaq]...

Michael Jordan's High School Girlfriend Plans To Take Legal Action Over Love Letter
The adorable love letter Michael Jordan wrote to his high school sweetheart, Laquetta Robinson, is probably going to end up in a lawsuit. Ah, American love....

Today In Depressing Lockout Non-Stories: "Clippers Season Tix Same Price"
The NBA lockout isn't even a week old yet, and we're plum out of stories. The NBA's website has become a ghost-town-cum-clearinghouse for WNBA news and classic highlights. We're talking about predictable Michael Beasley weed busts instead of flurrying free agent activity, or something....

Michael Beasley Has Not Yet Kicked That Demon Weed
The 2011 NBA lockout is a mere six days old, which means that we are way past due for a report of a league player getting cited for possession of marijuana. And now that I mention it, we are also (and always) way past due for a report of Michael Beasley getting busted for possession of marijuana — i...

The WNBA Has Gotten Awfully Violent Since You Last Tuned In
Kristi Toliver of the L.A. Sparks delivered an elbow square to Ketia Swanier's head last night that left the Phoenix guard writhing on the ground with blood leaking out of her left eyeball. Sorry to be graphic; it's just accurate. The play earned Toliver a flagrant foul, and Sparks assistant Joe B...

Hookers And Cosplay And You!
I was at the airport the other day and we were an hour or two early for our flight because I've inherited my mother's paranoia with regards to missing flights. So we're sitting in the terminal with nothing to do when I remember that we walked by an arcade on the way to the gate. So I grab both of my...

THE ELUSIVE GREAT ADVENTURE BABOON HAS BEEN CAPTURED! NEW JERSEY IS SAFE!
The Star-Ledger and others are reporting that a runaway baboon from the Six Flags amusement-park safari in Jackson, NJ was tranquilized and taken into custody around 2:40 p.m. after three days on the lam....

At Least We Might Get Some Funny Nike Commercials Out Of The NBA Lockout
Dime takes a look back at the 1998 NBA lockout commercials. We have so much to look forward to, you guys. [Dime]...

Ohio-Based Lady Sues Kobe Bryant For Not Marrying Her
Kobe Bryant has five rings. But now one litigious soul is livid that she didn't get one from him....

Former First Round Pick Now Growing Marijuana, Hoarding Assault Rifle Ammo
We can not, repeat NOT blame the lockout for this one. Jose Ortiz, known as Piculín and revered as a hero in Puerto Rico, was busted this week at his home. Inside ICE agents found "approximately 218 marijuana plants" and 40 rounds of AR-15 ammunition. The criminal complaint, with photos, can be foun...

LeBron James Dunks On Small Child To Stay Alive In Casual Game Of Knockout
LeBron James spoke at a basketball camp this week, and then he humored the young'ns by following up his missed jumpers with a few dunks — one of which knocked out a kid's lay-up and then knocked over the kid. Luckily for the camper, the initial embarrassment will ultimately evolve into the best pa...

18-Year-Old Michael Jordan's Gibberishy, Cocky Love Letter To A Comely Lass Named Laquette
If only we had the grace and verve of Michael Jordan, we've often lamented, we could have been great basketball players. But that powerful desire never extended to love notes, when, clearly, it should have....

NBA Joins Lockout Party!
The NBA owners have reportedly informed the players that the lockout is on, beginning at 12:01 a.m. on Friday. The two sides will take a "hiatus" from reviving the league after its most exciting season in years and "reconvene in 2-3 weeks." America! Are you ready for some baseball and hockey?? [@KBe...
![Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1865o9ndt013bjpg.jpg)
Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]
We've obtained audited financial data for the New Jersey Nets covering the three fiscal years from June 2003 to June 2006. Though the numbers end five years ago, you can still see the roots of the argument that will have NBA owners, come midnight, again locking out their players. You can also see ho...

The Girl With The OKC Thunder Tattoo Wants To Bear Kendrick Perkins's Babies
Here, Priscilla and Ashley discuss, or at least make reference to, the Mavericks/Thunder series, manners, personal space(s), sweat flavor, stalking Awful Joey Crawford and whether inking prevents pregnancy, while Priscilla or Ashley gets "Thunder Up!" and "Rise Together" tattoos added to her inner...

Portland Continues Mirthfully Torturing Fan Base, Will Offer Greg Oden One-Year Extension
The Portland Blazers are expected to make Greg Oden — the most easily-forgotten TMZ star of our time and the youngest veteran in the league — a restricted free agent with a $8.8 million qualifying offer for a one-year contract extension. With the offer alone, the Blazers will reserve the right to ma...