nba Page 683 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

“Help! I Keep Dreaming About Banging My Mom!”
Hey, before we get to the letters, BRAD CHILDRESS WAS FIRED YESTERDAY! WOOHOO FUCK YEAH! SO LONG, CUNTGROPER! We're finally rid of you, YOU BALD ASSHOLE! Now my beloved Vikings can finally get around to drafting the wrong quarterback, losing key free agents, becoming as tightfisted as the Bills, and...

Newest Trend: Talk Show Cue Card Holders Moonlighing As College Basketball Coaches
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NBA Players, In Science-y Cartoon Form
Here's what NBA players look like with their statistics visually translated to physical characteristics. Click around for a minute, you'll be there an hour. [Hoopism]...

Man Bijt Man: Luis Suarez Has A Mike Tyson Moment
If you thought Samuel Eto’o’s headbutt was the most ridiculous moment of severe misbehavior in soccer this weekend, you were wrong. Ajax’s Luis Suarez bitting PSV Eindhoven’s Otman Bakkal was far more bizarre....

Isiah Thomas Is Still Delusional
On his sexual harassment lawsuit: ''[E]veryone else was found liable for contributing to a hostile work environment. I wasn't ordered to pay anything.'' [Sun-Times]...

Toddler Dies After Fall From Staples Center Luxury Suite
A two-year old boy died last night after sustaining injuries in a fall from a luxury suite after the Warriors-Lakers game at the Staples Center....

Down Went Boxer Iran Barkley, And Down He Keeps Going
In better times, Iran "The Blade" Barkley was whooping Tommy Hearns, keeping 40 large in cash in his closet and spending his winnings on "a custom Mercedes, shiny jewelry and fur coats." These most certainly aren't better times....

NBA TV Broadcasts Turkish Basketball, Finally
Want to see how far Allen Iverson's fallen? NBA TV has just what you need! At 3:30 p.m., they'll broadcast his second game with Turkish team Besiktas Cola Turka. They're playing defending TBL champion Fenerbahce Ulker from Istanbul....

Here's Video Of The Knockout Of The Year Getting Delivered In Atlantic City Last Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

John Salley Story Corner: Boss Hogg Chases Me Out Of A Jacuzzi
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Our hero has a Dukes of Hazzard moment....

Chris Bosh Still Just Wants To Chill
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Chris Bosh on his "happy word."...

Heat Strokes, Game 11: The Fuck-You Game We've Been Waiting For
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Goodbye, Greg Oden
Another injury has taken another year from Greg Oden. We've put together this tribute to the creaky-legged giant. We wish him a speedy recovery....

Last Night's Winner: The Memory Of Sam Bowie
Greg Oden's done, which means we're consigned to another year of summoning the spirit of sad old Sam Bowie from whatever well he's fallen down. Anyone tempted to compare the two similarly star-crossed, but otherwise totally different players should consider the following:...

Eva Longoria's And Tony Parker's Roller Coaster Photo Is What We Call Foreshadowing
In happier times, the new couple took in some wholesome fun in Las Vegas. Only later would they realize they were riding a giant metaphor....

Greg Oden, Part-Time Athlete, Full-Time Knee Wrecker, Is Out For The Season
Greg Oden, 82-game, 22 year-old veteran, announced today that he is surrendering another NBA season to have microfracture surgery on his left knee. It's considerate of him, really. At least he's disappointing Blazers fans a little bit earlier this year!...

Eva Longoria Divorces Tony Parker Over Affair With Brent Barry's Wife, Reports Guy From <em>Saved By The Bell</em> And Other Journalists
So Longoria split from Tony Parker, and there are rumors of a fling with a teammate's wife. We're confident running with this, because it's being reported by some of the top names in sports media....

A Video Gallery Of Terrible Team Songs, Featuring Zubaz Pants, "Let's Get Metsmerized," And Much More
Previously, we looked at bad '80s team songs. They were bad, but our morbid curiosity was not fulfilled. We asked you to send us more. You did not disappoint. Here are more awful '80s team songs....

Charles Oakley Swears On His Mother, Probably At Her Too
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Oak's not getting along with the Knicks....

Chris Bosh Unlikely To Enjoy Chris Bosh's New Theme Song
Are you struggling to find a phrase to describe a product you bought that was supposed to be really good, but thus far is just disappointing? Maybe it was falsely advertised as top-of-the-line? It's "like a Bosh." [The Basketball Jones]...