nba Page 704 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Should Be Watching Hockey This Weekend, Seriously
Remember when everyone was so into hockey that time? Ha! But there's plenty to love: the NCAA championship, an NHL playoff berth battle, and oh yeah, some Slovenian hockey players who won their league title then beat up their coach!...
Kenyon Martin Locker Room Eruption Versus Christian Bale On Set Meltdown
Kenyon Martin's temper tantrum in the aftermath of Popcorn-In-Car-Gate has landed. It's pretty good, but we wanted to add a little zest. So, after firing up some Danger Mouse, we put this together (NSFW language)....
Praying For Car Accidents Is OK!
Big doings here at the funbag. Next week we'll be doing a bonus audio version of the funbag (Don't worry, the two regular ones will still run) with a very, very special Deadcast guest. So send in only your finest retarded questions about poop, boners, and snacking if you want in. Now, your letters....
What Did Kevin Durant Want Behind ESPN's Firewall?
This afternoon, Durant put out the call on Twitter for help getting to something on ESPN.com Insider. But what was it that Durant was so excited to read? We have ideas....
Dan Gadzuric Needs Velcro Sneakers
From tonight's game, Dan Gadzuric stops to tie his shoe, forcing the Bucks to play 4-on-5 for a verrrry looong tiiiime. Seriously, he almost runs out the shot clock....
Three Steps: Skirt NCAA Rules, Peddle Frozen Pizza, Join Nuggets
Remember Brian Butch, the guy who was a McDonald's All-American but still redshirted at Wisconsin? The Nuggets signed him because...someone needs to hack Gasol. Enjoy Butch's old commercial for Pep's, a frozen pizza with "quality...Wisconsin...sauce." [Ball Don't Lie]...
When Is This Pussy Gonna Try Coaching Dudes?
It's been in the 80s here in DC this week, which means this is the first time this year I've been able to bust out the shorts. And when you bust out the shorts, that means it is, once again, open season on bareball nut scratching. All winter long, I gotta scratch my nuts by digging into my jeans. NO...
Andray Blatche Really, Really Wanted That Triple-Double
We like to think players are so caught up in the game that they don't notice when they're approaching a statistical accomplishment. It's not true. Here's Andray Blatche doing everything humanly possible to get his 10th rebound....
Watch Andrew Bogut's Arm Turn Into Spaghetti
Want to break a young player of the nasty habit of hanging on the rim after a dunk? Just show them this gruesome video of Bogut absolutely destroying his arm last night....
In Which We Declare A Fatwa On All Online April Fooling
It's April Fool's Day today, and we've now reached the point where April Fool's has officially become a web nuisance. "Big news everyone! From now on the funbag will be written by Robert Weintraub!" Yes, hardy fucking har. Everyone realizes it's April Fool's Day right around 9:02AM these days. The r...
Kevin Garnett: "We Were Playing Michael Fucking Jordan"
A live mic and a player upset with the officiating always make for an interesting combo. Kevin Garnett did not disappoint:...
Flip Murray In A Nutshell: The Incredible, Too-Late Buzzer Not-Quite Beater
Flip Murray hit an amazing half-court shot in last night's Suns-Bulls game. Unfortunately, the third-quarter buzzer had already sounded, and Flip was left to ponder the thin line between glory and a spot on Dazzling Dunks and Basketball Bloopers. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...
Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...
Correction: Mikhail Prokhorov Is Your New Favorite Sports Billionaire
Last week, we pondered whether software tycoon Larry Ellison would soon become the NBA's craziest billionaire owner. Not a chance, once Mike "Mad Dog" Prokhorov suits up for the New Jersey Nets....
How Much Do Your Genitals Weigh? A Half-Assed Funbag Investigation!
I have a TV/Film peeve I'd like abolished from now on. I dunno if Ebert's film glossary has covered this yet, but I would like it added if it has not. I call it the Confession Cocktease....
Last Night's Winner: Josh Smith
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the small number of people who can say that they've won a game with a buzzer-beating, put-back slam dunk. That usually makes a good story....
Oklahoma Freshman "Leavin Skool" To Enter NBA Draft
Tommy Mason-Griffin poetically declared for the draft on Facebook: "its a official dat i am leavin skool....ask me y i aint doin anotha yr yue mite get ignored." Yeah, I think he's gotten all he can from higher education....
Nets CEO Shamed By Ashamed Fans He Drove To Shamefulness
Nets executive Brett Yormark gave a mea culpa, the day after getting into a shouting match with a fan wearing a paper bag. Hey, at least there was a fan to argue with....
In Which We Learn That All Dominican Baseball Players Are Gay; Also: Hot Chicks In Cars
Got kids? No? Well, let me tell you one of the delightful side effects of parenting: manic depression. Oh, yes. I am officially fucking bipolar now. When around my child, I go from elated to violently angry at the drop of a hat. And this is because kids always take things too far. One second, you're...
Is The NBA Ready For Another Insane Billionaire Owner?
Mark Cuban has cornered the market on "playfully eccentric tech nerd sports owner," but he is in serious trouble if the Golden State Warriors fall into the hands of Larry Ellison. This guy practically invented the arrogant, kooky billionaire....