nba Page 810 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Heat Take Game Three
It was kind of like the exact opposite of Game 2. The home team controls most of the game, the road team looks like they're more concerned with the viscosity of the oil that Pat Riley uses in his hair, until the road team puts together a few good possessions, gets the game close, and then the home...
More Hasselhoff On Your Friday Night Than You Probably Expected
The Mavericks found their groove against the Suns last night, winning 105-98, putting the series at 1-1 heading back to Phoenix. The three stars of the evening: Dirk Nowitzki, who had 30 points, 14 boards, and 6 assists. Josh Howard, who had 29 points and 7 boards. And David Hasselhoff, who is th...
Steve Nash Politely Reminds You He's The MVP (In A Canadian Way)
Best thing we've read saw far today? True Hoop's headline "If He Keeps That Up, People Are Going To Start Thinking Steve Nash Is The MVP." Yeah, no kidding....
Western Conference Pants Party: Mavs Vs. Suns
We miss the defense-less days when every game between these two would have totalled nearly 300 points, but that's OK: This'll still work just fine....
Rony Seikaly Is No One-Woman Man
Far be it from us to tell a woman how to live her live, but we just don't see much upside in model Elsa Benitez hanging out with estranged husband (and former hairy NBA center) Rony Seikaly anymore....
Random YouTube Finding Of The Week
Not excited enough for the Western Conference Finals tonight? Well, if this video doesn't pump you up, nothing will....
One Awfully Strange Way Of Celebrating
We don't know how we missed this the other evening, but apparently, with seconds left and the Mavericks all set to celebrate, coach Avery Johnson ran down the bench to make a substitution. In all his excitement and hurry, he appears to have pulled a Reggie Evans on Josh Howard....
Heat Take 1-0 Lead Despite Lottery Distractions
It is perhaps telling that, the morning after Shaquille O'Neal and his Miami Heat looked strangely dominant in a Game 1 win over the Pistons, the NBA event that garnered the most online attention was the draft lottery, which was won by the Raptors, who now conveniently aren't run by a moron....
Eastern Conference Pants Party: Pistons Vs. Heat
As disappointed as some of us might be that we didn't get our LeBron-Wade Eastern Conference Final, we have a feeling it'll end up happening someday, somehow. Let's not get greedy just yet. Let's just watch to see if those workmanlike Pistons — who, for all their lack of popularity today, were Ameri...
At Last, Nash And Nowitzki, Together Again
While trying to find video of a time when Mavericks coach Avery Johnson's voice was deep — we imagine it just one day rising, like reverse puberty — we came across this apparent promotional video for the Mavs. "The Avery Bunch" are heading to the Western Conference Finals, where they will face the P...
Hasselhoff, Nowitzki Lead Mavs Past Spurs
Boy, man, is Mark Cuban's billion-dollar penis ever gonna come out and play tonight....
It's Western Conference March Madness
We know a few people, Midwesterners, mostly, sometimes with their own little biases, who claim to love college basketball but are left cold by the NBA. We don't understand this, but even they can't deny the beauty of tonight: Two games, both elimination, winners play each other in the conference fin...
LeBron Finally Runs Out Of Magic Dust
As much as we loved the idea of LeBron James swooping from the heavens and lifting his team, all by his lonesome, into the conference finals and beyond, yesterday's easy win by the Pistons was pretty much inevitable. When you team is essentially just one player, and that one player scores only six p...
I Believe Dirk and David Hasselhoff Would Approve
I feel like I've seen enough "Lazy Sunday" parodies to last me for the rest of my life. I appreciated the original SNL bit as much as anyone, but at some point, it turned into nothing more than a license for young white people to make their own rap videos. Rarely will any good come from that....
No, I'm Sorry, You Can't Get A Witness
A competitive first half gave way to a Detroit smothering in the second half, and the Detroit Pistons have advanced in the Eastern Conference playoffs. LeBron James had 27 total, but was held to just 6 points in the second half. Of course, those 6 points did account for over 25% of the Cavs total ...
This Feels... Big.
The Pistons and Cavs will be tipping off any minute now. I can't be sure of what, but we're about to witness something. I think just about everyone in the universe is rooting for the Cavs, with the exception of hardcore Pistons fans. Everyone either wants to see LeBron win, or wants to see LeBron...
And The Ones Get Sevens...
Screw "About Last Night!" After a night of basketball like that, it can be demoted to the two-spot......
LeBron Goes For It All Tonight
No. 1 email we've received over the last 48 hours: "Hey, asshead, still think LeBron's playoff debut is unremarkable?" (Answer: OK, maybe he's doing all right.)...
It's Playoff Time! Everybody Grab A Ball!
Before we talk about last night's Clippers' win over the Suns, can we just say how disappointed we were that there wasn't a single incident of a grown man wounding the genitals of another grown man?...
Last Call For The Clips
The Cavaliers', uh, somewhat unexpected rattling-off of three consecutive wins over the Pistons has overshadowed what had been the plucky little engine that could of the postseason: The Clippers, who face elimination at the Staples Center tonight against the Suns....