Today In Dumb Shit College Sports Programs Spend Money On Instead Of Paying Players: Gargantuan TV

Big-time college sports programs are in a never-ending, Brewster’s Millions–style race to burn through as much money as possible in order to claim that they are not profitable and thus can’t pay players. State-of-the-art practice facilities and bloated administrator contracts used to be enough to hide all that dough,…

Willie Taggart Pleads For Patience After Florida State Gets Boatraced By Syracuse

The start of the Willie Taggart era in Tallahassee has been quite the shitshow. The Florida State Seminoles entered this season ranked 20th, yet three weeks into the season, they’re 1-2 and look like they’ll struggle to even make a bowl game. Jimbo Fisher’s final season with the Seminoles went poorly, and the start of…

Pitt Assistant Coach Says He Hasn't Left His Office Since Losing To Penn State, Prefers Flat Soda

Penn State trounced Pitt 51-6 last weekend, and nobody is taking that loss harder than Panthers tight ends coach Tim Salem. Fueled by a steady diet of carbonation-free, ice-cold chartreuse soda, Salem has spent the last few days in his office grinding non-stop. He hasn’t really slept at all, presumably because REST is…

It Sure Looks Like A Colorado Player Twisted The Hell Out Of Adrian Martinez's Leg

With 3:29 remaining in the fourth quarter and Nebraska leading Colorado 28-27, the Huskers were at midfield and driving toward the end zone when freshman quarterback Adrian Martinez took the ball and sprinted on a designed run to the right. Martinez hadn’t been perfect in his first-ever start, but with one score…

Washington And ESPN Are Being Whiny Little Babies About An Announcer's Tweet 

Following University of Washington’s 21-16 loss to Auburn two weeks ago, ESPN announcer Mark Jones accurately tweeted that the team “took one on the chin.” He also wrote, “Where’s Montana?” referencing an ESPN broadcast from last season when the Huskies were lightly ribbed for having a “cupcake” non-conference…