ned Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Grinch Burns, Ranked
1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots....
Holidays, Ranked
Here is a list of (commercialized) U.S. holidays, ranked in order of how good they are:...
Tulane Defensive End Can Eat An Entire Apple In 90 Seconds
There aren’t many reasons for someone to tune into a Friday night college football broadcast of Memphis vs. Tulane, but thankfully the crew at ESPN2 understand this and try to spice things up in the lulls between plays. In a segment called “Hidden Talents,” the broadcast team showed an amazing video...
Ousmane Dembélé Isn't Perfect For Barcelona, But He Is What They Need
It still isn’t entirely clear if Ousmane Dembélé truly fits in at Barcelona. He doesn’t seem to have level of technical mastery and precision required to thrive in Barcelona’s traditional playing style, and it’s yet to be determined whether it would be wise or even possible for him or Barça alter th...
This Fucking Fireman Ed Is Back, Again
Fireman Ed announced his “retirement” from, uhh, attending Jets games in a helmet and teaching Jets fans how to spell a one-syllable word back in 2012. He’s made appearances since then, but only do to heroic things like pass the torch to a younger generation of people who loudly spell a word at foot...
CORRECTED: Big Ten Network Suspends Braylon Edwards Indefinitely For Criticizing Michigan On Twitter
CORRECTION (7:51 p.m.): Though the announcement of Edwards’s suspension was made after Harbaugh’s press conference, Pat Kenny of Big Ten Network tells Deadspin that Edwards was informed of his suspension Sunday, before Harbaugh made his comments, and that “Coach Harbaugh’s comments had no bearing on...
How One Team Built A Dynasty—And Won $7 Million—In The Basketball Tournament
When Errick McCollum headed to the bank in August of 2015, he was mostly hoping that his check for nearly $100,000 would clear. He wasn’t broke or anything like destitute at the time—the older brother of Blazers star C.J. was, at the time, making a good living playing professional basketball in Chin...
Tom Brady Gets Prickly As Hell About Alex Guerrero's Possible Connection To Julian Edelman's PED Suspension
Even though the Patriots have distanced themselves from Alex Guerrero, Tom Brady’s TB12 body coach and business partner’s name is still circling around New England. This time, though, it’s in connection with Julian Edelman’s four-game suspension for violating the NFL’s performance-enhancing drug pol...
Looney Tunes Characters, Ranked
Who would do this? And why? Drew Magary would, was the thing, and was gonna, and I’d rather die than let his rankings speak for the site and wind up with history recording that the place where I work said “R&B/Soul” was the second-best Looney Tunes character of all time. So we turned it into a scien...
Dirks Nowitzki, Ranked
Alex Kennedy of HoopsHype has posted some excellent videos that track the evolution of specific player avatars in NBA video games over the last two decades. By far the most cursed sequence is Dirk Nowitzki’s. If you were expecting a steady, linear progression from “Not Dirk” to “Okay that’s Dirk” as...
Announcing Cliches In Soccer, Ranked
The World Cup didn’t quite feel the same without Ian Darke to call it, but at least there was another month of (mostly) British announcers populating our soccer broadcasts. Here’s a celebration of the phrases only heard when watching the beautiful game....
GIFs, Ranked
Today is my last day at Deadspin after seven years of forcing you to watch dumb shit I saw on TV. To commemorate my departure, I went through all 5,128 animated GIFs I created during my tenure here to select, and rank, the best of them....
Times Of Day For Fireworks, Ranked
Some folks outside my apartment were shooting off fireworks around noon today. Why would you waste them like that? I’m not sure, but this is when you should set off fireworks....
That Wacky Astros Four-Man Outfield Shift Is Spreading
The defensive shift is having a moment. It’s of course being used more than ever, and now even by certain crotchety types who’d previously resisted it. Royals manager Ned Yost, for example, is skeptical of statistics that support use of the shift, and in fact is vocally in favor of the shift being b...
Pseudonymous Redditor Breaks Julian Edelman PED Suspension News Hours Ahead Of ESPN Report
ESPN’s Field Yates and Adam Schefter reported Thursday afternoon that Julian Edelman is facing a four-game PED suspension from the NFL, pending an ongoing appeal. This is important news, for a number of reasons: New England’s receiving corps was thinned out during the offseason, making Edelman’s pro...
Gnarly Rougned Odor Takeout Slide Sparks Benches-Clearing Hullabaloo
Benches cleared for a bustling group therapy session after Rougned Odor tried and failed to break up a game-ending double play Friday night by sliding in wide and with his spikes up on the relay from Andrelton Simmons:...
Zinedine Zidane, The Perfect Real Madrid Manager, Left In Perfect Style
In the mother of all mic drops, Zinedine Zidane called a snap press conference today and announced that he was quitting his post as manager of Real Madrid, mere days after winning his record-setting third Champions League trophy in a row. It was the perfect cap to a perfect marriage of coach and clu...
Real Madrid Manager Zinedine Zidane Abruptly Resigns Days After Winning The Champions League
Less than a week after leading Real Madrid to their third consecutive Champions League title in a 3-1 win over Liverpool on Saturday, manager Zinedine Zidane announced today in a shocking press conference that he was stepping down from the club....
The WNBA Is Standing With Planned Parenthood
The New York Times reported today that the Trump administration plans to implement a rule banning reproductive healthcare providers, like Planned Parenthood, from getting certain federal funds if they provide abortion referrals. Hours later, WNBA President Lisa Borders put out this statement:...