ned Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

One More Clueless L.A. Media Moment: "Kings Goalie Jonathan Swift"
The Stanley Cup itself will be at the Staples Center tonight, and the Kings look all but unstoppable. (Up 3-0, Kings merchandise is flying off the shelves, because L.A. is filled with more bandwagoners per capita than any other North American city.) You'd think by now the local media would have go...

Lil Wayne Accuses Oklahoma City Thunder Of Racism
Not that long ago, we all thought Lil Wayne was denied access to Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals in Oklahoma City because of a convoluted love triangle involving some Thunder players. Turns out it's because Lil Wayne is black, according to Lil Wayne. Various players have since come forward ...

Report: The Blackhawks Have Suggested That Patrick Kane Seek Counseling
Three weeks back, we shared with you a reconstruction of Patrick Kane's drunken Cinco de Mayo weekend in Wisconsin. Kane, sources told us, was thrown out of bars and frat houses, for, among other things, choking a girl and making anti-Semitic comments. The cops were involved, at one point, but he wa...

Guy With Weird Dating Survey Defends His Data Collection Methods
Ladies, Mike Stolar is on the market. He's the (formerly anonymous) guy who asks some dates to fill out a survey. (An unsatisfied date passed the survey along to us last week, and we shared it, with a little backstory.)...

Today In Bizarrely-Priced Tickets From Wisconsin Police: Softball Coach Gets $177 Citation For Cursing At Players
An insidious trend is developing in Wisconsin. First it was Montee Ball and his $429 ticket for trespassing at a block party. Now comes news that the varsity softball coach at Oconta Falls high school, Dawn Larsen (not pictured), was given a $177 citation after a parent complained about her potty m...

What Boxing Writing Can Teach Us About Everything: A.J. Liebling On Moore-Marciano
Between the Victorian era and the Sixties, boxing was a regular and prominent feature of American life. Knowing something about the fights—being good with your hands, or maintaining an opinion about the welterweight division or fixed bouts or how to beat a southpaw—was a very common piece of equipme...

24-Year-Old Finance Guy Asks All His Dates To Complete A Creepy Survey Afterward
Last month, we brought you a finance guy's way-too-detailed spreadsheet of the ladies he met on Match.com. A reader who enjoyed that post then passed along this survey she received from a man she briefly dated in Philadelphia....

Here Are The Best Entries In Our Drunk, Sulking Patrick Kane Photoshop Contest
This fine entry kicked off our Patrick Kane photoshop contest, but somehow we knew our wise readers had more in store. And you did not disappoint. I've picked the best ones here—with special commendation for our winner at the end—because we can cram only so many images into a gallery, but keep in mi...

Reconstructing Patrick Kane's Drunken Weekend In Madison, With Eyewitness Testimony
On Monday we showed you photos of a soused Patrick Kane in Madison, Wis., and then we asked you if you knew more about what happened while Kane was there. We had heard some bad stories—that Kane supposedly choked a woman, that Kane supposedly said anti-Semitic things—and we wanted to know if other p...

NESN Invites Fans To Submit Questions For Bobby Valentine, Gets Flood Of Boy Band-Related Inquiries Instead
Like many official MLB team broadcasters, NESN features a program centered around the squad's manager. (NESN's version is helpfully titled The Bobby Valentine Show.)...

Patrick Kane's Offseason Drinking Regimen Is Off To A Great Start
Sometimes it's easy to forget that Blackhawks star Patrick Kane is only 23 years old. Wait, did I say "sometimes... easy to forget?" I meant "always... impossible to forget." Here's Kaner being Kaner, as Kaner does, in Madison, Wis., for Cinco de Mayo on Saturday. Evidently he was more welcome than ...

A Roundup Of Figurines With Warning Labels Made Up By Deadspin Commenters
This morning, we posted the photo you see above, which shows a Latrell Sprewell figurine with an unintentionally funny warning label. The image was sent to us by a reader who had recently purchased the figurine at an antique store. Our commenters, naturally, were not content to let the Spree joke st...

Latrell Sprewell Figurine Bought At Antique Store Packaged With Unintentionally Funny Warning Label
A reader named Bryan sent us this photo of a Latrell Sprewell figurine, which we've juxtaposed for you above to highlight the warning label on the bottom right corner of the package. Bryan tells us he recently spent $9 on the mini Spree at an antique store "because of how awesome it is. If only PJ C...

Finance Guy Keeps Incredibly Detailed, Incredibly Creepy Spreadsheet Of His Match.com Prospects
Let's call this guy, oh, "Dave." Dave is a financial services employee in New York. Dave goes on Match.com, and meets women, and sometimes goes on dates with them. Then Dave goes home and enters all sorts of information into an Excel sheet, to keep track of everyone....

Zinedine Zidane's Headbutt Is Now Art
Among the works of Adel Abdessemed, now on display at the David Zwirner Gallery in New York, is this sculpture commemorating the ignominious, agressive end of Zidane's 2006 World Cup....

For Those Wondering If The Miami Dolphins Could Be Any More Embarrassing, Here's a Peyton Manning-Inspired Version Of That Titanic Song
As Peyton begins making the free-agency rounds, Miami fans have taken to the most reliable of valentines: parody song-making. This one features that Celine Dion song from Titanic. Hopefully for Miami fans this courtship ends on better terms....

Australian Footballer Requests Time Off For "Family Issues," Attacks Cousin With A Machete
Liam Jurrah became the first person from a remote Central Australain indigenous community to play in the AFL when he was drafted by the Melbourne Demons three years ago. It was there, to the town camp of Little Sisters, that he returned last week, telling team management that he had family and commu...

"Shitballs": Curling Profanity Is Strange
You can throw out the record books when the Alberta and Quebec women's curling teams get together. It got pretty heated yesterday at the Scotties Tournament of Hearts (Canada's women's championship), when Alberta skip Heather Nedohin let loose a creative swear word after coming up short on her sho...

Report: Turns Out Only Five TCU Football Players Failed A Drug Test
After four football players were among 19 TCU students arrested yesterday for allegedly dealing everything from marijuana to cocaine to LSD, questions began to emerge about just how many Horned Frogs players failed a surprise drug test issued two weeks ago by coach Gary Patterson. That's because one...