ned Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Reconstructing Patrick Kane's Drunken Weekend In Madison, With Eyewitness Testimony
On Monday we showed you photos of a soused Patrick Kane in Madison, Wis., and then we asked you if you knew more about what happened while Kane was there. We had heard some bad stories—that Kane supposedly choked a woman, that Kane supposedly said anti-Semitic things—and we wanted to know if other p...

NESN Invites Fans To Submit Questions For Bobby Valentine, Gets Flood Of Boy Band-Related Inquiries Instead
Like many official MLB team broadcasters, NESN features a program centered around the squad's manager. (NESN's version is helpfully titled The Bobby Valentine Show.)...

Patrick Kane's Offseason Drinking Regimen Is Off To A Great Start
Sometimes it's easy to forget that Blackhawks star Patrick Kane is only 23 years old. Wait, did I say "sometimes... easy to forget?" I meant "always... impossible to forget." Here's Kaner being Kaner, as Kaner does, in Madison, Wis., for Cinco de Mayo on Saturday. Evidently he was more welcome than ...

A Roundup Of Figurines With Warning Labels Made Up By Deadspin Commenters
This morning, we posted the photo you see above, which shows a Latrell Sprewell figurine with an unintentionally funny warning label. The image was sent to us by a reader who had recently purchased the figurine at an antique store. Our commenters, naturally, were not content to let the Spree joke st...

Latrell Sprewell Figurine Bought At Antique Store Packaged With Unintentionally Funny Warning Label
A reader named Bryan sent us this photo of a Latrell Sprewell figurine, which we've juxtaposed for you above to highlight the warning label on the bottom right corner of the package. Bryan tells us he recently spent $9 on the mini Spree at an antique store "because of how awesome it is. If only PJ C...

Finance Guy Keeps Incredibly Detailed, Incredibly Creepy Spreadsheet Of His Match.com Prospects
Let's call this guy, oh, "Dave." Dave is a financial services employee in New York. Dave goes on Match.com, and meets women, and sometimes goes on dates with them. Then Dave goes home and enters all sorts of information into an Excel sheet, to keep track of everyone....

Zinedine Zidane's Headbutt Is Now Art
Among the works of Adel Abdessemed, now on display at the David Zwirner Gallery in New York, is this sculpture commemorating the ignominious, agressive end of Zidane's 2006 World Cup....

For Those Wondering If The Miami Dolphins Could Be Any More Embarrassing, Here's a Peyton Manning-Inspired Version Of That Titanic Song
As Peyton begins making the free-agency rounds, Miami fans have taken to the most reliable of valentines: parody song-making. This one features that Celine Dion song from Titanic. Hopefully for Miami fans this courtship ends on better terms....

Australian Footballer Requests Time Off For "Family Issues," Attacks Cousin With A Machete
Liam Jurrah became the first person from a remote Central Australain indigenous community to play in the AFL when he was drafted by the Melbourne Demons three years ago. It was there, to the town camp of Little Sisters, that he returned last week, telling team management that he had family and commu...

"Shitballs": Curling Profanity Is Strange
You can throw out the record books when the Alberta and Quebec women's curling teams get together. It got pretty heated yesterday at the Scotties Tournament of Hearts (Canada's women's championship), when Alberta skip Heather Nedohin let loose a creative swear word after coming up short on her sho...

Report: Turns Out Only Five TCU Football Players Failed A Drug Test
After four football players were among 19 TCU students arrested yesterday for allegedly dealing everything from marijuana to cocaine to LSD, questions began to emerge about just how many Horned Frogs players failed a surprise drug test issued two weeks ago by coach Gary Patterson. That's because one...

Did 60 TCU Football Players Really Fail A Drug Test?
Details are beginning to emerge from the alleged drug-dealing ring that resulted in the arrest of four football players at TCU. According to the Associated Press's reading of the affidavits, all of the Horned Frogs' players were drug-tested at a mandatory team meeting on Feb. 1. And based on what tw...

Four TCU Football Players Arrested In Drug Sting
The players were among 17 students busted following a six-month investigation by Fort Worth and TCU police. They're accused of selling marijuana, cocaine, acid, ecstasy, and prescription drugs. The four football players have been identified as linebacker Tanner Brock, defensive lineman D.J. Yendrey...

Bob Ryan Announces On Bill Simmons' Grantland Podcast That He's Retiring From Sports Journalism Because Blogging And Tweeting Have Ruined It
Also ruining sports journalism? Irony. [ESPN Boston]...

TCU's Upset Of UNLV Triggers Saddest Court-Storming Ever
Your morning roundup for Feb. 15. Photo via SportsGrid. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Randy Shannon Used To Sleep In Cortez Kennedy's Dorm Room To Keep Him Out Of The Fridge
After juco transfer Cortez Kennedy tipped the scales at 370 his junior year, Randy Shannon, who had graduated the year before, was assigned to help him keep the weight down. Now that Kennedy is entering the NFL Hall of Fame, he's reminiscing about the little things that got him where he is today. On...

A Madman Handcuffed Himself To The Goal During The Everton-Manchester City Match
We've no clue the protest this man is engineering (his t-shirt says something about Irish airline Ryanair) but the Everton-Man City match was put on hold for about five minutes as police attempted to unchain this hooligan from the goal. It's a good thing he chose the opposite end from Tim Howard;...

Here's What Happened To That Batshit Crazy Benedictine University Recruiting Video (UPDATE)
UPDATE: The video is back!...

Whatever You're Doing With Your Life, It's Not As Awesome As The Athletes In This Recruiting Video
I don't care where you matriculated, what you studied, or what honors you graduated with. If you didn't go to Benedictine University, your degree is now useless. ...

Should You Be Scared Of The Yankees In 2012?
Yes! Yes, you should be scared of the Yankees in 2012. Terrified, probably. Because a pair of big moves made their biggest problem—35-year-old A.J. Burnett, who is owed $33 million over the next two years—essentially disappear. No more hanging knucklecurves in big games, no more walks, no more hits,...