ned Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Darth Vader Defeated A Taser But Succumbed To Pepper Spray In Orlando Last Week
From ClickOrlando, and via tipster Joshua K., comes this tale about how "a Florida Highway Patrol trooper was attacked in Orlando early Thursday by a man wearing a Darth Vader mask."...

Dwight Howard To The Nets Is Almost A Done Deal, Reports... Jermaine Dupri
You can have your Wojnarowski, your Broussard, your Aldridge. We've got early-2000s hip hop producer and frequent Mariah Carey and Usher collaborator Jermaine Dupri, thank you....

The 11 Worst Grantland Long Reads Of 2011
11. Wesley Morris, "On Brady's Hair"...

49ers Release Braylon Edwards
The Niners let Edwards go today, proving that no good deed goes unpunished. Anyone need a gimpy deep threat with bad hands for the playoffs?...

The Worst Way To Find Out Santa Isn't Real: From A Patriots Punter
FOX in Boston did a spot with Julian Edelman and Zoltan Mesko at the Patriots' annual charity event. Interesting choice of players since Edelman's Jewish and Mesko, being Romanian, probably worships the Great Fire Eagle or something. As a kicker, the reporter asked the pair what they want for Chri...

The Man Who Invented The End-Zone Dance
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Let's Watch The Patriots' Julian Edelman Somewhat Improbably Return This Punt For A Touchdown
Julian Edelman's been everywhere on the field for the Patriots tonight—making tackles on coverage teams and now returning a punt 72 yards to paydirt. It made for 24 (and counting) unanswered points against the Chiefs, and you probably forgot that he's done this before....

The NFL Fined Rex Ryan $75,000 For Telling That Fan To Shut The Fuck Up
You'll recall that, after the Patriots beat up the Jets last Sunday, a fan suggested to Rex that Belichick was a better coach, and Ryan snapped. He apologized the next day....

Baylor Fan On Crutches Stormed The Field After Upsetting Oklahoma
Lost in the madness of the actual game was this female fan and her loyalty, dedication and love for Baylor football. At great personal risk, she swung her way across the field to take part in celebrating Baylor's stunning upset of Oklahoma. It must have been exhilarating for her and everyone else ...

That Mean Columbia Marching Band Has Been Un-Banned From Performing At The 0-9 Football Team's Last Game
You did it, Deadspin readers! Or at least our friends at the Columbia Spectator say you did it:...

Columbia Bans Marching Band From 0-9 Football Team's Finale Because The Band Made Fun Of The Team
Aw, horseshit. The Ivy League fun police have lost their damn minds. Columbia's banned its marching band from playing at the football team's final game this weekend, because, after the last game, the band made fun of the team with new lyrics to the school's fight song. Please....

Getting An Answer Out Of Bill Belichick Is Fucking Frustrating
Thrill to the master of stonewalling doing his damndest not to say anything interesting, or really anything at all about Julian Edelman's assault and battery arrest. The Boston papers sent their general reporters and not their sports writers to Belichick's presser so they could ask the tough quest...

Patriots Player, Dressed As A Cop, Was Charged With Indecent Assault And Battery On Halloween Night
New England Patriot Julian Edelman was charged with indecent assault and battery on a woman early this morning. He is due in Boston Municipal Court for an arraignment today. Hopefully, since he was taken into custody at a Back Bay nightclub at about 1:30 this morning, he has had the opportunity to c...

The Last Act Of The Notorious Howie Spira
Howard Spira appeared in the Gawker offices one summer day as if summoned from the beyond, which in some sense he had been. He just stood there, anxiously clutching a black plastic bag, his enormous green eyes sweeping the room. His skin had the hue of a life spent mostly indoors and in poor health....

Shitty <i>MNF</i> Game To Be Matched In Shittiness Only By Shitty <i>MNF</i> Intro
Doing a new one every week could be a good thing. Detroit! Blue collar town. Oh look, there's Barry Sanders! So what does the New York metropolitan area get for Monday's suckfest against the Dolphins? Fireman Ed, and "the passion and loyalty of the fan base." [Newsday]...

Celebrating A Spectacularly Inept Series In College Football History
Georgia defeated Tennessee in a wacky game on Saturday. The highlight was a fourth-quarter Georgia series in which the Bulldogs reached Tennessee's 23-yard line and were promptly penalized four times for 45 yards: Holding, holding, holding, personal foul. In between, the Bulldogs managed to run the ...

BC Athletic Director: ESPN Is The Kindest, Bravest, Warmest, Most Wonderful Company I've Ever Known
Gene DeFilippo, addressing this: "I spoke inappropriately and erroneously regarding ESPN's role in conference expansion." [@PeteThamelNYT]...

This Is A Story About An Ohio High-School Football Game Resulting In Stigmata
"In one of the most disturbing acts by an individual high school athlete in recent times, an Ohio football player placed a sharp object — believed to be a tack — in his glove before walking through a postgame handshake line, pricking the hands of 27 opponents as he walked through and "congratulate...

TCU To Leave The Big East Even Though It Still Isn't A Member
TCU might have been a geographic misfit when it joined the Big East, but its admission was thought by some to be the logical conclusion of the vision of the league's late founder, Dave Gavitt. On second thought, the school's exit for the Big 12 nine months before its Big East membership took effect...

So, Michelle Beadle Apparently Sucked On Linda Cohn's Leg Today
Two girls, one Nike product-placement victory. Per @SarahSpain, "Thank god @ESPN_Michelle had that rattlesnake training. Her Texas upbringing saved @lindacohn 's life." Aw. (H/T Obsessed With Sports)...