ned Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Good Things About Houston: Geoff Geary (And His Fiancée) Probably Won't Get Assaulted
Geoff Geary was (briefly) a serviceable bullpen arm for the Phillies, but the poor guy's confidence just went to shit. Luckily, The Fightins traded him for Brad Lidge and the rest is World Fucking History....
David Ortiz Is Pretty Confident He'll Pass His Tests
Or he just could use a year off: "Ortiz wants year-long ban for steroid users." [ESPN]...
Jeff Garcia Still Being Treated Like Red-Headed Quarterback
Tampa Bay has officially told him that their plans for the future do not include the 39-year-old quarterback: "It is disappointing because I enjoyed the atmosphere and the team environment in that locker room." [ESPN]...
Andy Kennedy's Wife Still Not Getting Any
As you may recall, the wife of former Cincinnati basketball coach Andy Kennedy is claiming that a pending lawsuit against a cab driver is so traumatizing that it's affecting the couple's sex life....
Yeah, I'd Imagine Vitamin Water Ad People Can't Be Too Happy With This (Update)
At an NCAA athletic conference on January 15th, it was revealed that some VitaminWater flavors contain "impermissible or banned substances", which could lead to suspensions for some athletes....
Andy Kennedy Picked The Wrong City To Punch A Cabbie In
Hey, remember when Mississippi's basketball coach got drunk and (allegedly) hate-crimed a hapless Cincinnati cab driver? That was fun. But now we can relive that wonderful evening thanks to police car camera footage!...
Scott Pioli Mercifully Pulls Plug On Herm Edwards
According to ESPN, the Chiefs coach was just fired. [ESPN]...
The Thrill Is Gone: Mississippi Coach's Wife Sues For Lack Of Sex
What do you do when your husband is no longer interested in committing lane violations in bed? Sue the bastards who ruined your sex life! Kimber Kennedy is not fooling around, one might say....
Your Trickster Magic Will Not Work On TCU
Boise State won a nation's heart with laterals and sorcery two years ago, but their days as adorbable indie princess underdogs are over....
Braylon Edwards Has Irreconcilable Differences With Cleveland Fans
In case it wasn't clear from his comments on Tuesday, Braylon Edwards would like to make it perfectly understood that he is not feeling the love from Browns fans—and he's just about had enough....
Mississippi Coach Arrested For Assault
Hoops coach Andy Kennedy was arrested the night before his team's game in Cincinnati after he "punched a cab driver with a closed fist while shouting racial slurs." Yep, that will do it. [Local12]...
Braylon Edwards May Have Worn Out His Welcome In Cleveland
Cleveland is awful and their offense hasn't scored in 16 quarters, but everyone just stay calm. You don't hear Braylon Edwards crying about it....
LA Times Sports Writer Chooses Not to Lop Off Penis; Paper is Thrilled
LA Times sports writer Mike Penner made national news last year when he wrote his "Old Mike, New Christine" column about his life as a transsexual and his decision to undergo surgery so he could become "Christine Daniels" for the rest of his journalism career. Well, just like a fickle woman, Mike ch...
Braylon Edwards Finds The Golden Ticket
Hey, I couldn't let you head out toward your weekend without this small bit of advice: Drive safely. Because even if the cop lets you off with a warning, you may end up with the ticket anyway. Just ask the Browns' Braylon Edwards. Edwards was pulled over on Aug. 29 in Avon, Ohio, for doing 120 mph i...
Braylon Edwards vs. Michael Phelps: Who You Got?
Braylon Edwards and Michael Phelps are top athletes in their sport. But which is better? It's like comparing apples and oranges. Now Edwards and Phelps are combining their apples and oranges into a bet to see who is better. ...
Country Music's Newest Star Looks Awfully Familiar, And Inexpensive
Jessica Simpson was a big deal just a short time ago, right? We thought so. We vaguely remember some kind of movie she was in and she was singing songs and then she dated a guy we all heard of... all of that happened, right? Because now she's reinventing herself in the easier-to-penetrate country mu...
New White Sox Danger: Shaving Cream Pies to the Face
And you thought Ozzie Guillen was all the White Sox had to fear in the locker room. Backup catcher Toby Hall is recovering after Jermaine Dye blocked his attempted pie to the face. Does anyone ever wonder where all these pies come from in baseball locker rooms? How many times have you had extra pie...
Our President Loves the Olympics, So Should You
It's tomorrow in Beijing and the events are about to start up again. There are a few medals up for grabs, as well as some qualifyers. Americans Michael Phelps and Katie Hoff, as well as naughty Aussie Stephanie Rice are all making finals debuts tonight and the men's gymnasts will take a shot at the ...
Eric Montross is Paying Hush Money For John Edwards's Love Child?
Once a Tar Heel always a Tar Heel, I guess. Politics and sports make strange bedfellows. The John Edwards love-child affair hasn't really crossed over into the mainstream media because, honestly, I have no idea why it hasn't. Probably because most of the people who would be reporting on the matter ...
A Word On The Blacks And Mongolians Story...
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see,...