ned Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ted Kennedy Still Looked Better Than Lincecum
"Thank God this isn't Deadspin, or the comments would be loaded with 1.3 retarded Massholes typing "GO SOX!!1!!!@!!!" [Wonkette]...
Officer Who Stopped Ryan Moats Cries No Mas, Quits Dallas PD
You've seen the video, you've marveled at the tattoo. But you won't have Dallas police officer Robert Powell to kick around anymore; his attorney announced today that Powell has resigned....
Your Yankee Superfandom Is Not Welcome
Interesting story about the paranoid corporate buffoonery of the Yankees who decided that novelist Jane Heller's "Confessions of a She-Fan" was "too controversial" to be a part of the Yankees' Opening Day commemorative program....
Raising Arizona: Wife Of Pirates' Minor Leaguer Questioned In Babynapping
Well, this is just what the Pirates needed. The wife of one of their top minor league prospects is being questioned in the apparent kidnapping of a baby from a Plant City, Fla. health clinic....
Gus Johnson Does Not Send His Compliments To The Chef
So the whole Gus-Johnson-in-handcuffs story turns out to be a "show's over people, nothing more to see here" type of deal, it appears. The CBS sportscaster wasn't arrested, and no charges were filed....
Bob Ryan's Face Refuses To Grow Old Gracefully
Legendary columnist and occasional ESPN talking head Bob Ryan was, at 63, as pruney as most people his age. But he appears to be going through an alarming transformation....
Good Things About Houston: Geoff Geary (And His Fiancée) Probably Won't Get Assaulted
Geoff Geary was (briefly) a serviceable bullpen arm for the Phillies, but the poor guy's confidence just went to shit. Luckily, The Fightins traded him for Brad Lidge and the rest is World Fucking History....
David Ortiz Is Pretty Confident He'll Pass His Tests
Or he just could use a year off: "Ortiz wants year-long ban for steroid users." [ESPN]...
Jeff Garcia Still Being Treated Like Red-Headed Quarterback
Tampa Bay has officially told him that their plans for the future do not include the 39-year-old quarterback: "It is disappointing because I enjoyed the atmosphere and the team environment in that locker room." [ESPN]...
Andy Kennedy's Wife Still Not Getting Any
As you may recall, the wife of former Cincinnati basketball coach Andy Kennedy is claiming that a pending lawsuit against a cab driver is so traumatizing that it's affecting the couple's sex life....
Yeah, I'd Imagine Vitamin Water Ad People Can't Be Too Happy With This (Update)
At an NCAA athletic conference on January 15th, it was revealed that some VitaminWater flavors contain "impermissible or banned substances", which could lead to suspensions for some athletes....
Andy Kennedy Picked The Wrong City To Punch A Cabbie In
Hey, remember when Mississippi's basketball coach got drunk and (allegedly) hate-crimed a hapless Cincinnati cab driver? That was fun. But now we can relive that wonderful evening thanks to police car camera footage!...
Scott Pioli Mercifully Pulls Plug On Herm Edwards
According to ESPN, the Chiefs coach was just fired. [ESPN]...
The Thrill Is Gone: Mississippi Coach's Wife Sues For Lack Of Sex
What do you do when your husband is no longer interested in committing lane violations in bed? Sue the bastards who ruined your sex life! Kimber Kennedy is not fooling around, one might say....
Your Trickster Magic Will Not Work On TCU
Boise State won a nation's heart with laterals and sorcery two years ago, but their days as adorbable indie princess underdogs are over....
Braylon Edwards Has Irreconcilable Differences With Cleveland Fans
In case it wasn't clear from his comments on Tuesday, Braylon Edwards would like to make it perfectly understood that he is not feeling the love from Browns fans—and he's just about had enough....
Mississippi Coach Arrested For Assault
Hoops coach Andy Kennedy was arrested the night before his team's game in Cincinnati after he "punched a cab driver with a closed fist while shouting racial slurs." Yep, that will do it. [Local12]...
Braylon Edwards May Have Worn Out His Welcome In Cleveland
Cleveland is awful and their offense hasn't scored in 16 quarters, but everyone just stay calm. You don't hear Braylon Edwards crying about it....
LA Times Sports Writer Chooses Not to Lop Off Penis; Paper is Thrilled
LA Times sports writer Mike Penner made national news last year when he wrote his "Old Mike, New Christine" column about his life as a transsexual and his decision to undergo surgery so he could become "Christine Daniels" for the rest of his journalism career. Well, just like a fickle woman, Mike ch...