nes Page 431 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

FAVRE-ING: FAVRE ON HIS WAY TO FAVRE ON FAVRE-BOUND FAVRE
Brett Favre is on a plane that is possibly headed towards Minnesota. The muffled shouting you hear is Tarvaris Jackson screaming while submerged in the locker room ice bath. [NFL.com]...

Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Watching A Punk Legend Have His Kramer Moment With The Negroes
Not long ago, Butthole Surfers frontman Gibby Haynes appeared at a comedy showcase, along with a prop he referred to as his "negro baby doll leg." Things went south from there....

And That'll Do It For Chipper
Chipper Jones's season (career?) is over after an MRI revealed a torn ACL. And with that, the last Larry standing in the majors is Dewayne Wise. [AJC]...

Craigslist Satisfies Your Minnesota Twins Jockstrap Fetish Needs
Someone claiming to be a Minnesota locker room attendant is offering jockstraps from "handsome players," including Joe Mauer and Kevin Slowey. For an extra few bucks, he won't throw in Ron Gardenhire's. [Craigslist]...

What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A-Centaur Suffers A-Boo-Boo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

No-Name Hoopster Mocks LeBron, Makes Name Briefly Known
I don't know who this Anthony Tolliver cat thinks he is. I like his style, punctuation and use of wolf-call special effects, though....

Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test! Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Breaking News: Shaq Is Old, You Are Too
Mitchell & Ness, purveyors of vintage jerseys, are now selling the O'Neal 94-95 jersey as part of their Hardwood Classics series....

Tarvaris Jackson: I'm Super, Thanks For Asking
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: potential Vikings starter Tarvaris Jackson....

Spider-Man Outfielder Makes One Of The Greatest Catches Ever
This is from last night's Yokohama BayStars/Hiroshima Carp game. Breaks like this are why the BayStars are in last place, though I think Hiroshima would take issue with any other city calling itself unlucky....

Some Good Comes Out Of Albert Haynesworth's Unathleticsm
Free ice cream for everyone in Bethesda, Md., if Albert Haynesworth can pass his conditioning test....

Brett Favre To Retire. We've Heard This Before.
Favre says his ankle hasn't responded to treatment (maybe he shouldn't have waited until May for surgery), and he's ready to hang it up. Vikes brass aren't convinced, and may offer to rework his contract. Don't bother, guys. [Star Trib]...

Weekend Winner: Media Members In Better Shape Than Albert Haynesworth
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like various DC-area media members, who took a shot at completing the Redskins' conditioning test that the disgruntled Haynesworth has been unable to pass....

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....

Tan, Large-Breasted Brazilian Runs On The Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Female Kickboxer Is Killed At Sloppily Organized Tournament
Sunday in Orlando, Lindsay Scheer fought Adrienne Simmons in the Muay Thai lightweight women's final of the International Kickboxing Federation National Amateur Tournament. The two women were not evenly matched. Lindsay Scheer won the fight. Adrienne Simmons died....

Another Stupid Piece Of News About Stupid Brett Favre That's Just So Stupid
I hate writing this stuff, but the numbers show that you people care. So help stop the cycle, and don't click on this post....