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The Jimmy Garoppolo Trade Will Have Ripple Effects

The effects from the Patriots’ decision to trade backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo to the 49ers will reverberate from now until next year’s draft. And the impact will be felt across the league....

Report: Patriots Trade Jimmy Garoppolo To 49ers, Now Have Only One Rostered QB<em></em>

The Patriots are reportedly parting ways with backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo, sending him to the 49ers in exchange for a second-round draft pick....

Yep, Checks Out

The Fog Made Falcons-Patriots Look Like No Other Football Game

The fog that rolled in around halftime of the Patriots’ 23-7 win over the Falcons in Foxboro might have been something of a mercy for viewers, unless you’re a weirdo who was really into seeing Atlanta run some of the most questionable play-calling since ... well, since the last time these two teams ...

Even After Aaron Hernandez Killed Himself, No One Seems To Care About Inmate Suicide

Aaron Hernandez—convicted of murdering Odin Lloyd, charged but not guilty of murdering Safiro Furtado and Daniel de Abreu, living in prison after once being paid millions to play football—died with $7.20 in his inmate kiosk. The final printout registering his account said the balance will be release...

The Jets Got Screwed Out Of A Touchdown

As the Jets were trying to make a comeback against the Patriots, it appeared that Austin Seferian-Jenkins had scored a hard-fought touchdown when he crossed the goal line with the ball to cut New York’s deficit. However, a confusing ruling that claimed Seferian-Jenkins had fumbled the ball out of th...

Sad Brady

Our pal Tom just needs to drink more of his special water. ...

Enjoy Tom Brady Getting Picked Off 

Do you know when the last time Tom Brady got picked off in the regular season was? It was 264 passes ago. Here, then, is an update from his opening drive of tonight’s Patriots-Buccaneers game:...

Cam Newton Whooped The Patriots And Threw Up A Fist<em></em>

For the second week in a row, Tom Brady was down at home to a team that New England was favored to beat. And for the second week in a row, a comeback seemed inevitable, especially when Brady converted a late fourth-and-goal to tie the game....

Patriots Fans Gather To Burn Their Stuff

I want you to try and imagine what an aggrieved Patriots fan who is so mad about some of New England’s players kneeling for the national anthem that he threw a party for other aggrieved Patriots fans to come and burn their Pats gear might look like. Okay, do you have the image in your head?...

The Patriots Are Sorry They Charged Fans $4.50 For Tap Water

In his new pseudo-health book, Tom Brady warns readers not to drink tap water. “Even when you use tap water for steaming vegetables,” he writes, “it’s better to filter it first.” Sunday, the Patriots ran out of Brady’s precious bottled water at the Gillette Stadium concession stands, and then had th...

Here Are Jets And Patriots Fans Booing The National Anthem [Update]

National anthem demonstrations became the story at NFL stadiums around the country on Sunday. But at Texans-Patriots in Foxboro, Mass., at Dolphins-Jets in East Rutherford, N.J., and at Raiders-Washington in Landover, Md.,* the players who protested were met with jeers and boos from thousands of fan...

Tom Brady Clowned By A Jadeveon Clowney Pick-Six

For most defensive linemen, an interception return is a recipe for some hilarious slapstick, but Jadeveon Clowney sprints right past all your #fatguyTD jokes. In the second quarter of the Texans game against the Patriots, a blind-side hit on Tom Brady turned into a gift for Clowney, who swiftly took...

Aaron Hernandez Found To Have Had CTE

An attorney for Aaron Hernandez and his estate announced today that researchers at Boston University found signs of CTE in the brain of the deceased former NFL player....

Tom Brady Thinks Drinking A Lot Of Water Prevents Sunburns

Tom Brady, the Gwyneth Paltrow of sports, has a book out now that features approximately four million words about water, and water consumption, and different types of water, and how water can protect you from the sun....

Gronk Catches 69th Score, Injures Groin

It was hella dope news and bummer news for Rob Gronkowski today. First, the big lunk of a New England Patriot hit a very personal milestone by catching his 69th career receiving touchdown on a play that the Saints’ defense scarcely could have made any easier....

Hello, Kareem Hunt

The Patriots got shoved into a trash compactor last night, and watching it felt wonderful. Alex Smith’s passable and shocking Aaron Rodgers impression may have been the most impressive part of the Chiefs’ performance, but the part that was the most fun to watch was rookie running back Kareem Hunt ma...

Patriots Eat Shit In Front Of God And Everyone

At the end of the third quarter tonight, the Patriots led the Chiefs by a score of 27-21. They proceeded to roll over and die. They gave up 21 points in the fourth, letting Kansas City run away with a 42-27 victory for the worst beating New England’s endured in recent memory....

With The First Nutshot Of The Season, Football Truly Has Arrived

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Why Your Team Sucks 2017: New England Patriots<em></em>

Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....