new-york Page 286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mets Shore Up Their Crappy Bullpen
And Mets fans have reminded me several times that I have yet to post this news. Like Dan, who sent the email featured below. He's been deputized Deadspin Mets correspondent for this afternoon....

Resistance Is Futile: Yankees Assimilate Sabathia
So thanks for getting my hopes up. CC Sabathia is currently visiting the San Francisco Bay Area — he was born in the northern Calif. hamlet of Vallejo — and speculation was that he was flirting with the idea of becoming a Giant. And when you think about it, who wouldn't want to pitch at AT&T Park? B...

America's Most Distracted Team Still Wins NFC East
Somehow this loss is all Antonio Pierce's fault. But even though the Giants were pushed around by the revitalized Iggles, they were still NFC East champions at the end of the day. The best highlight from yesterday's 20-14 loss from a Giants perspective was Tom Coughlin's joyous sprint down the sidel...

Colbert: It's High Time The Government Stays Out Of Our Sweatpants
If you think you've considered all angles of the Plaxico Burress story, think again. Stephen Colbert provides food for thought in this segment from Tuesday's Colbert Report, in which he asks the perfectly reasonable question, why should a consensual act between a man and his semiautomatic Glock hand...

Plaxico Burress Suspended For The Rest Of The Season
The New York Giants waited until the very end of the day to announce that Plaxico Burress will in fact be placed on the "non-football injury list." This is effectively a suspension that removes him from the Giants roster for the remainder of the regular season and the playoffs, and (unlike injured r...

Jon Stewart Reports That Sweatpants Do Not Make A Good Holster
I'm a little surprised that The Daily Show didn't break in with weekend coverage of the Plaxico Burress story; the whole thing seems cobbled by comedy elves just for Jon Stewart. Finally on Monday he was able to jump on it, and while not as good as Dash's efforts on this story, Stewart did not disap...

Breaking!: Plaxico Burress May Have A Sore Leg
An urgent SportsCenter update has just informed the world that Plaxico Burress showed up to work today, less than 24 hours after facing the horrors of central booking at the One Seven. The notorious skel (hey, I've seen NYPD Blue) reported to the Giants training facility this morning, per team rules...

Plaxico Burress Update: He Still Has A Hole In His Leg
Do you remember a couple of years ago when Dick Cheney shot that guy and the basic facts of story were so utterly ridiculous that all you had to do was say "The Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face" and that counted as both a joke and a serious analysis of the situation? That's...

Citi Field and Manchester United: Your Tax Dollars At Work
The government's bailout of our collapsing financial industry continues apace—you got your check, right?—but now that these companies are playing with our money, suddenly everyone is an expert. Some are suggesting that maybe the reason these firms are in trouble is because they like to waste money a...

Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...

A-Rod Not In Touch With His Inner Jewishness
Uh oh, guess who was busted for skipping his Kaballah classes? One Mr. Alex Rodriguez is in so much deep shit with Madonna it's not even funny. MSNBC is saying that the Yankee has cancelled private classes with "spiritual leader" Eitan Yardeni, who was supposed to guide A-Rod around the bases of cos...

Dude, I Think Stryper Won A Trophy or Something
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. Frankie Hejduk has been in MLS for nine years. He's done five seasons in Europe four of which were with Bayern Levekusen, including the infamous 1999-2000 campaign when the side needed only a draw against tiny Unterhaching on the last day o...

The Jets Fly High Over the Titans
After 12 weeks the Tennessee Titans have joined the ranks of the defeated thanks to (sigh) Brett Favre and the New York Jets. Apparently there's been a rather large puddle of blood on the field stemming from an injury to Albert Haynesworth, and from what I understand there have been no efforts made...

Blame the Wildcat: Favre Is a Wide Receiver and Fisher Is Skydiving...And McNabb Is Benched
Brett Favre learned everything he knows about playing wide receiver from an instructional book written in an obsolete vernacular. And for some reason Jeff Fisher decided to make his arrival at Friday's practice via parachute. Both teams have added field goals since we last checked in, making the sco...

The Jets Try To Steal Perfection From The Titans
Could today be the end of perfection for the Titans? Tennessee faces off against Favre and the Jets at 1:00 and it should be a doozy. Even with Favre's probable interceptions, the Jets should prove to be the Titans biggest challenge so far. For once I'll be rooting for the Jets, as perfection is bor...

Jets QB Not Named Favre Suspended For Violating Drug Policy
It is not a good week for back-up quarterbacks. First it was Florida, now the Jets. It seems that Jets Rookie QB Erik Ainge was suspended four games by the NFL on Friday for violating the league’s policy on steroids and related substances. It doesn't seem to be a huge loss for the team: ...

Lift Your Calzones And Salute; The End Of The George Steinbrenner Era Has Come
When I worked at MSNBC Sports in Redmond, Wash., one of my first assignments was to interview George Steinbrenner by phone for an audio link to an online story. I remember him as one of those rare interview subjects whom you just kick start with a single question, and then watch race around the room...

Mike Mussina Calls It A Career
It hasn't been officially announced yet, but Ken Rosenthal is reporting that Mike Mussina will retire this week, ending an 18-year major league career. He pitched in 538 games for the Orioles and Yankees, appeared on five all-stars teams and in 16 postseason series, including 2 World Series, yet if ...

Brett Favre And Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum's Broseph Love Is Boundless and Obscenity-Laden
The New York Jets were fired up after their victory over the dastardly Patriots last Thursday night and rightly so, considering all that was on the line. But no one was more excited than the ol' gunslinger, Brett Favre, who shared an unreserved embrace with Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum after the victory...

Jim Leyritz Will Soldier On Somehow
You no doubt recall the legal trouble facing Jim Leyritz, the former Yankee who is free on bail pending his DUI manslaughter trial. Leyritz is accused of being involved in an accident while driving drunk, in which a young mother was killed. Well, last week Leyritz asked a judge to remove a Breathaly...