new-york Page 295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Forget Everything You Think You Know About Kyle Farnsworth
No word from The Dugout on this just yet, but it's only a matter of time. Yes, if you thought you knew Kyle Farnsworth — Grand Theft Farnsworth! — YOU HAVE NO IDEA....
Goose Gossage Has Had Enough Of Your Tomfoolery
I guess we're somewhat removed from the era in which Rich "Goose" Gossage dominated baseball; well, when he dominated the final three innings of it, anyway. The closer really hadn't been perfected until Gossage came along, and the game hasn't been the same since. Although the Hall of Famer spent jus...
Pink Bats, Red Faces; This One's For You, Mom
Here we go, writing about breasts again. Mother's Day was Sunday, and you know what that means: The pink bats were back. And while that's good for the fight against breast cancer, it was bad for the Cincinnati Reds, who just seemed to be horribly disoriented by the unfamiliar flashing colors. I supp...
Papelbon's Control Goes On The Lam
Mike Lamb, he of the .213 average and no homers in 94 at-bats, was the latest to victimize the Red Sox closer, who has blown back-to-back saves. That leaves him one short of his mark through all of last season. Papelbon opened the 9th by allowing a single to Delmon Young, who advanced to third on a...
All Hail Derek Jeter's Golden Baby Arm
It is times like these where Yankee-haters even must bow down to the catnip that is Derek Jeter's machismo. Maxim's Hot 100 list contains six women who've been romantically linked to the Yankee shortstop....
Even A-Rod's Wife Questions Her Husband's Masculinity
It's tough for most of us to watch those "Miracle of Life" shows where they give you the full access to what it's really like to watch someone have a baby. After viewing it, you soon realize that even the most gruesome horror movies showing a screeching alien ejecting itself out of a person's stom...
Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Jumps Shark, Lands In Madness
Sometime in the not-so-distant future, when all the oil and electricity is gone, global warming takes a firm hold and mankind is left to fend for itself in a feral state, I would expect scenes such as the following to occur with frequency. But not yet. For the love of God, not yet. As you might have...
Kerwin Danley Takes His Umply Lumps
Home plate umpire and crew chief Kerwin Danley took a 96 mph Brad Penny fastball to the jaw in the 4th inning of the Dodgers 11-3 win over the Rockies last night. The game was delayed 18 minutes and Danley had to be taken off the field in an ambulance. A Dodgers spokesman said Danley lost consciousn...
1st Round, Sixth Overall: Jets Select BBBOOOOOOOOO Vernon Gholston BBOOOOOOOOO
Anybody else have this problem? Every once in a while, it sounds like Mike Mayock's mic gives out. It sounds like an evil droid from Star Wars, or the serial killer on the cell phone from a bad horror movie, or something from Kid A. Getting on my nerves, but not enough to make me switch to ESPN....
March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
Previewing The Rangers-Penguins
Deadspin's NHL Conference Semifinal Previews come courtesy of Melt Your Face-Off. Over at MYFO, Sunday service starts tonight, and holding back when the collection plate comes around earns you a two-minute seat in the penalty pew. In the meantime, Hextall454 brings you the righteous preview of the N...
Joba Chamberlain Makes Clumsy Pass At Erin Andrews, Becomes Mortal (WITH UPDATE)
Actually I have no idea what the Yankees' Joba Chamberlain said to Erin Andrews at the conclusion of their interview on Wednesday, but whatever it was, Andrews was obviously repulsed. You can check out the video here and judge for yourself. Man, it looks like she just ate a bug. So then can it just ...
Four Out Of Five Dentists Think Joe Girardi Is Nuts
Further proof that Joe Girardi is the Frank Burns of AL managers; he has forbidden the Yankees to eat candy or gum. Yes, that should turn the tide. New York would have four or five more World Series trophies if not for the evil of Skittles. Girardi is being really strict about this....
Always A Fun Night In Philly When The Mets Are In Town
Why can't you dim-witted Mets fans just behave yourselves when you come to Philadelphia? We get it. You like to be loud and obnoxious, and you won't back away from a fight. That would be an insult to your Cro-Magnon Guido charm if you walk away from a playful taunt with a smile or just show some re...
Isiah Thomas Pretty Much Got A Promotion
The disinterest Isiah Thomas showed in his last days as coach of the New York Knicks was palpable, and pretty much understood by all parties. But remember: He's not being fired by the Knicks. He's just taking a different job with the team so that $18 million still left on his contract can be collect...
You Know It's Baseball Season When Fat Yanks-Red Sox Fans Are Killing Each Other
Last week, the Red Sox and Yankees battled it out at Yankee Stadium. You might have heard about it. But we just today saw this shot above and, more to the point, the rather amazing video after the jump of a real, live Yankees-Red Sox fan fight....
New Jersey Devils Given New York Farewell
It's nice to see the NHL Playoffs' first round is filled with good-natured competitiveness. Certainly this is epitomized by the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils — neighbors! — playing to a 5-3 Rangers victory, knocking the Devils out of the playoffs. And all Rangers fans can certainly apprecia...